


to the edge i'll race you, to the end i'll make it, all the risk i'll take it

by bearer_of_light



Series: i'll rearrange the stars (pull 'em down to where you are) [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Smut, for a hot second they don't really like each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 06:46:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14731958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearer_of_light/pseuds/bearer_of_light
Summary: For a week someone has been stealing Lexa's lunch and she is determined to find out who it is. Guess what happens next.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to my gf for helping me come up with this.

“They did it again.” If the loud slamming of her door didn’t startle Anya then the angry voice of the person responsible for it did. Lexa walked into her office ready for murder. She paced from one wall to the other, not saying a word more after she walked in. Anya put her pen down and sighed. She knew what all the fuss was about and she knew better than to laugh. She made that mistake a couple of days ago and nearly lost an eye because of it. “I’m going to find who does it and kill them. I swear to God this can’t go on and will not go unpunished.” Maybe losing an eye would be worth it. 

“You are overreacting.”

“I’m overreacting? Are you serious right now?” If looks could kill, Anya would had died on the spot. 

“It’s just lunch,” she shrugged. She knew there was no point in arguing with angry Lexa, or trying to calm down angry Lexa. Angry Lexa was the only Lexa that was not reasonable. 

“It’s MY lunch, not just lunch. Who even does that?” Lexa sat down on the chair in front of Anya’s desk. She looked like she was close to breaking down the chair with her bare hands. “I would have said nothing if it was just one time. It happens, people make mistakes. I’m not the one to hold grudges, especially when you apologize to me, something a decent person would have done. But it happened every day this week Anya. Every fucking day of the week.”

“Maybe they don’t know whose it is,” Anya said just to say something.

“My name is written on it. Big ass letters.”

“Maybe they don’t have anything else to eat.”

“Neither do I.” Lexa’s knuckles were white from how hard she was squeezing the chair. “They only have to ask. I would have given them or made double if they like it so much.”

“Maybe they can’t stop, lunchmania.”

“I love how you are having fun with all of this. Really love it.”

“Do we have a suspect?” 

“Don’t make fun of me, Anya.”

“I know better than to do that. I’m just asking if you have any idea as to who it might be.”

“No.” Lexa gritted through her teeth.

“No one?” 

“I never thought anyone here would do something like that.” At that point it got really hard for Anya to not laugh. Maybe it was the absolute seriousness of Lexa’s voice when she said or the confused and lost look on her face. “I’m going to hit you with something heavier this time if you laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just so funny.” Anya covered her mouth. “Not the fact that you are without lunch, but how mad you are about it.”

“Like you wouldn’t be.”

“They know better than to touch my food. You’re just not mean looking enough.”

Someone had been stealing Lexa’s lunch. 

Every day she’d get up an hour early and make lunch for that day. She’d pack it and write her name on the box. She liked to be in control of her life and one part of it was knowing what she’s putting in herself. She didn’t like the food that was in company’s restaurant and she didn’t have enough time to go sit somewhere and spend an hour on her lunch. So the only and the best choice she had was to cook every day so she could have a fresh and healthy meal. 

Everything was going great, for months, until four days ago when the food magically disappeared from the fridge.  

 

_ “Did you eat my food?” Lexa stormed into Anya’s office that day. She thought it was a joke because Anya always made fun of her for going through so much trouble for something trivial as lunch.  _

_ “Um, no, why?” Anya asked. _

_ “It’s gone.” _

_ “Maybe you forgot to bring it.” Anya knew that wasn’t a possibility long before the words left her mouth. “Or maybe you didn’t,” she added. _

_ “I put it in the fridge like I do every day. And it’s gone.” _

_ “Maybe someone was really hungry and thought it was no ones.” _

_ “It has my name on it. You’ve seen it and you know you can’t miss it. Someone did it on purpose.” _

_ “Maybe they were really hungry,” Anya shrugged. _

_ “It was mine.” _

_ “And now it’s not. You’ll have to deal with it.” _

_ “This day is fucking terrible.” Lexa walked to the window behind Anya. Her office was second biggest and had the second best view. Lexa didn’t want to think about the best one.  _

_ “So I’ve heard.” _

_ “I can’t believe he gave her the job.” Lexa counted the floors of building in front of her. 35.  _

_ “You’ll get the next one.” _

_ “If the doctor dumps him, if not then there’s no way I’m getting anything in the near future especially with her being around.” _

_ “You’re jealous.” _

_ Lexa sighed. “She doesn’t deserve it.” _

_ “That’s a lie and you know it. She’s been doing a great job ever since she came here.” _

_ “I wonder how she got it. But then again there’s nothing to wonder about. I think everyone in the city knows how she did it.” _

_ “Lexa,” Anya warned. “Be nice.” _

_ “I’m not interested in being nice.” Lexa turned around and leaned back on the window. _

_ “Then don’t be rude because I know you’re not. She didn’t take anything from you because nothing was yours to begin with.” _

_ “It would had been if she didn’t…” _

_ “You’ll have to forget it and live with it. Or leave.” _

_ “It’s just frustrating.” _

_ “She’s really good at what she does, you know that. You just have to be better. Think of it as a challenge, healthy competition.” _

_ “I don’t want competition. I deserved that…” _

_ “Nothing in life is granted. Not even to Lexa Woods. Be better than her and you’ll get everything you think you deserve.” _

_ “I think I need to be a lot more than just better.” Lexa pushed herself upfront and started to walk to the door. “Gotta go put some trash inside me so I don’t die.” _

_ “I’m sorry your green shit got eaten.”  _

_ “Bye Anya,” she closed the door. _

 

“Do I need to start punching people?” 

“I never punched anyone,” Anya chuckled. 

“But I might start doing it. I literally lost all of my patience.”

“I’m sorry,” Anya said. “I really am, it must suck.”

“Would you do something like that?” 

“I didn’t steal your food Lexa,” Anya laughed. 

“I know, I’m asking if you’d do something like that.”

“Maybe if I were really desperate, but I wouldn’t do it five times in five days, and I’d probably apologize the next day, offer to buy lunch of coffee or something.”

“And you are like the meanest and rudest person in this office, explain to me how something like this could have happened.”

“Thank you so much for such nice words you have for me.” 

“No need to pretend in front of me.”

“Maybe you are that rude,” Anya laughed. “And maybe it’s different people.”

“I doubt it.”

“Maybe someone is trying to prank you.” Lexa raised her brows. “Or not. Have you asked anyone anything?”

“I asked Lincoln.”

“You should ask Raven, she spends the most time there.”

“Like she’d tell me even if she knew.”

“Do you want me to ask her?” 

“Are you looking for an excuse to talk to her? You know you don’t need that, you could just walk up to her and talk to her.”

“I’ll ask her.”

Lexa chuckled. “Thank you.” 

“Just don’t put it in the fridge anymore. Keep it on your desk.”

“It’s not gonna be as good after that many hours out of the fridge. And besides that would mean that the thief won and that won’t happen. I’m going to find them.”

“God help them.”

“Not even she will.” 

* * *

“Did you see the look on her face when Marcus said I’d do it and not her?” Clarke poured crazy amount of sugar into her cup. Her first coffee of the day was without sugar, her second was with a tiny bit and her third with a lot of it.

“Don’t you think your obsession with all things Lexa is not really healthy?” Raven asked.

“I’m not obsessed.” Clarke took a sip of her perfectly ruined coffee. “I just think it’s…”

“You are,” Raven interrupted her before she could finish. 

“I just love when I win and she loses.”

“Whatever you say Clarke.”

“If anyone is obsessed then it’s you.”

“Hi ladies.” Clarke looked to her right and saw Anya walk in the kitchen. 

“Speaking of the devil,” Clarke whispered. “Hi Anya.” Raven’s elbow landed between Clarke’s ribs. “Ouch.” 

“Congrats on the job,” Anya smiled.

“Thank you.” 

“I’m sure it’s going to be another big win.”

“Let’s hope,” Clarke smiled. 

“Raven,” Anya turned to the brunette. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

“Yes, what’s up?” 

“I’m going to leave you to it,” Clarke grinned and walked away and out of the kitchen. 

Her office was overlooking the east side of the city. The building was so high up that it felt like she had the whole world in the palm of her hand. There was only one office between hers and the kitchen. Lexa’s.

Clarke started working there six months ago and it had been six months of Lexa never saying a word to her outside the meetings and the usual formalities. At first Clarke thought that she was like that with everyone. But then she saw her being friendly and laughing with Anya, with Lincoln, with Monty and pretty much everyone else in the office. Then she thought she’s like that only to the new people. But when Maya started to work there, three months after Clarke did and Lexa was all smiles and politeness, Clarke knew it was personal and Raven told her the reason. Clarke got what Lexa thought she had to get. Prettiest office and biggest clients. 

Even then Clarke wanted to be more than just office neighbours, but every time Lexa would shut her down before she could even try. 

She glanced into Lexa’s office as she walked by and saw her sitting at her desk over some papers. She didn’t look up.

Clarke walked into her office and closed the door behind her.

“Another break.” It was hours later, hours of emails and what seemed like an endless pile of papers, Clarke needed a break. She needed to stretch her legs, get another cup of coffee, breathe different air. 

Lexa welcoming her in the kitchen was not what she needed.

“Are you counting my minutes?” Clarke poured fresh coffee in her cup.

“Money we are losing because of it.”

“Unfortunately for you I’m very efficient.”

Clarke looked at her just in time to see her roll her eyes. “Like I care.” 

“You should first learn how to lie before practicing it,” she smiled. 

“You think too much of yourself.”

“Do I?” Lexa filled her cup with more coffee and walked away without saying anything. “Enjoy your night Lexa.”

Clarke was always second to last to leave the place. Lexa stayed behind her and Clarke was almost certain she did it just so she could watch Clarke go first. 

As she walked away down the street she could still see the light in Lexa’s office.

Her nights were almost always the same. She’d come home really late, open the fridge to see that there’s nothing there and be annoyed at herself every time. She’d make a mental note to buy some food the next day and never follow through. 

She’d pour herself a glass of wine, grab her sketchbook and draw until she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. She’d shower and go to bed. Sometimes if she was really into it and the night was really pretty, she’d spend her Saturdays with Raven in some dark and loud place.

* * *

“Morning Ms Griffin.” It was early morning, the sun was going to be up in any minute and Clarke was smiling. Her morning started off good. She woke up in time to go for a run and eat breakfast. It wasn’t that often anymore that she had time for those things.

“Morning Gustus,” Clarke smiled at the guard who opened her door for her every morning.

“You look happy.”

“It’s a beautiful day.”

“It really is. And an early one.”

“I like to do my work before it gets too crowded and noisy.”

“She’s already up,” he said with the biggest smile on his face.

“Who?” Clarke asked.

“Ms Woods.”

“I… I’m…” Clarke stumbled over her words.

“You won last week, I don’t think you will this time.”

Clarke laughed. She realized what he was talking about. “It’s not a competition,” she shook her head. 

“That’s not what she thinks,” Gustus said.

“Then that’s her problem,” she chuckled. “See you later.”

Clarke, still smiling and in good mood from her short interaction with Gustus, almost said good morning when she walked by her office. Instead, she went by without saying a word. Clarke closed her door and took a deep breath. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

On most days Lexa was the first one to come to the office. But not always.

“First one today,” Gustus smiled when he opened the door.

“Nice way to start the day.”

“Hurry up or our blonde friend will catch up with you.” 

“Not my friend,” Lexa waved him off as she disappeared into the building.

Lexa liked the sound of an empty office. That hour or two before everyone else came were the best of her day. That’s when she did the most of her work. She didn’t even mind that Clarke was also there. 

Lexa’s first stop was kitchen. She took her lunch out of her bag and taped a dozen post it notes with her name on it all around the bowl of food that she hoped would be there for her when lunchtime came. She put it in the fridge, made herself a coffee and went to her office.

Ten minutes later she heard Clarke come in. She never looked up from her computer screen but she heard the door close and bag hit the floor. 

* * *

“I’m going to kill someone.” Lexa punched the kitchen wall.

“What’s wrong?” Maya was sitting at the table, eating her lunch.

“Did you take my lunch?” Lexa snapped at her.

“What?” Maya’s eyes widened. She had never seen Lexa that mad before.

“Did you?” Lexa asked again.

“No, Lexa, I have my own,” Maya lifted the plate she had in her hand. “What’s going on?” 

“I’m sorry,” Lexa sighed and put her hand over her face .”Someone has been stealing my lunch for a week now.”

“What?” 

“What I said.” Lexa could see Maya was on the verge of laughing. “And before you laugh, it’s not really funny.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Maya smiled apologetically.  “Do you know who is doing it?”    
“I wouldn’t have asked you if I knew.”

“Did you put your name on it?” 

“Yes.” 

“Maybe someone was really hungry and they didn’t have time to go out to buy something.”

“Or maybe someone is just fucking with me.”

“Have you told Marcus?” 

“And what would he do? It’s not like it’s a crime.”

“I know, but maybe he can help, or send a note to everyone so the person who’s doing it would stop.”

“That would just give everyone an excuse to laugh at me. I don’t want that.”

“No one would laugh.”

Lexa shook her head. “I’ll take care of it myself, but thank you for trying to help me.”

“Are you hungry? We can share mine,” Maya said. 

“Thank you, really, but I’ll go downstairs and get something,” Lexa smiled softly. 

“I’m sorry,” Maya tapped her shoulder before she left.

“Woods, who pissed in your pants.” Raven came in just moments after Maya left.

“I wish I knew.”

“Have you found your foodie?” Raven smirked.

“Hilarious.”

“I know,” Raven whispered. “But it is fucked up. Someone has no manners.”

“I appreciate your empathy.”

“I’d tell you if I knew.”

“Would you?” 

“We’re not best of friends but I don’t hate you that much.”

“Thanks.”

“When you find them, be sure to call me so I can watch you beat the shit out of them.”

“I’ll try to remember.”

“Best of luck in your quest Woods.”

Lexa got to the point where she lost the last piece of sanity and patience she had. She walked to her office, took a piece of paper and a pen. She scribbled a few angry words ‘STOP STEALING MY FOOD!!!’. She went back to the kitchen and taped the paper to the fridge. 

“Still no suspect?” Anya found her in the nearby park. “You must be really mad,” she pointed at the hot dog Lexa was eating. “I saw the paper, it’s… flashy.”

“If that won’t work then my next step is tearing the whole building down.”

“Over a lunch.”

“Over principles.”

“Raven promised to be on the lookout.”

“I think she made that promise for reasons that had nothing to do with me or my lunch.”

“We are going on a date.”

“You finally gave in.”

“It’s because of your damn lunch, made me hungry.” 

“Thanks for the TMI.” 

Anya got up. “For you always.”

“You going back?” 

“Yes.” Lexa threw the paper towel in the bin next to the bench she was sitting on and got up. “Do you know what I think you need to do?” Anya asked.

“I know you’ll tell me.”

“I think you should give up and be the bigger person than your lunch criminal.”   
“I’m tired of always trying to be the bigger person. It’s time I be the smaller one. I’ve never been petty in my life, I’ve always wanted to know how it felt.”

“You do know there’s little chance you win this one?” 

“I don’t care if it’s the tiniest in the world.”   
Anya laughed. “I wish I had your determination.”

“Welcome back,” Gustus opened the door for them.

“Gustus, maybe you can put some sense in this one,” Anya grinned.

“How can I be of help?” 

“Don’t listen to her,” Lexa shook her head.

“She is acting childish.”

“Ms Woods? That’s hard to believe,” he smiled.

“Oh trust me.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “What happened?” Gustus asked.

“Someone has been eating her lunch and instead of giving up she’s determined to find the culprit and bring them to justice.”

“Someone is eating your vegetables?” Gustus crossed his arms. “Do you need me to help you find them? I can be pretty scary,” he pushed his chest forward.

“See?” Lexa put her hand on Gustus’ shoulder and looked at Anya. “This is the type of reaction I was hoping to see from you,” she turned back to Gustus. “Thank you,” she smiled widely. 

“You just make a call and I’ll be up to help you muscle your way through to the thief.” 

“Thank you,” Lexa grinned. “I’ll be sure to remember.” 

* * *

It had been five hours since the last time Clarke turned her head away from her computer screen. When she caught herself yawning for the second time in as many minutes she knew it was time for a break. She stretched in her chair and turned around to look out through the window. Sun was just about to set down and street lights were starting to turn on. She looked down on the street full of cars that were full of people going home or to the next checkpoint in their lives. She still had a couple more hours of work before she could go home. One option was walk to the kitchen and get fifth cup of coffee and the other was to go out for a smoke and let Gustus take her mind off of work for ten minutes. She decided to go with the later.

On her way out she glanced at Lexa’s office. She was still there.

“Ms Griffin, good to see you,” Gustus said when he saw her.

“I told you it’s Clarke, someone else is Ms Griffin.”

“Some habits die hard.” 

“And some are better when they are dead.”

“I’ll try my best, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled. “How do you address Lexa?” 

“Lexa.” 

“How come she’s not Ms Woods?” 

“She’s Lexa.” 

“She looks like someone who’d be Ms Woods.”

Gustus laughed. “Looks could be deceiving, Clarke,” he winked at her. 

Clarke put the cigarette in her mouth and lit it. “Not very often.”

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Anything.” 

“Why don’t you like her?” 

“Lexa?” 

“Yes, it doesn’t look like you’re her biggest fan.”   
“I have nothing against her, but I’m only as good to you as you are to me.”

“That’s hard to imagine.” 

“What?” 

“Lexa not being nice to someone.”

“Have you known her for a long time?” 

“A couple of years. Speaking of,” he pulled the door open. “Someone is going home early.”

“My head hurts,” Lexa didn’t see Clarke.

“How many coffees have you had?” Gustus chuckled.

“One less than I have.” Lexa quickly turned around to see Clarke standing behind her. 

“Are you counting my coffees?”

“Money we are losing because of it.” Clarke put out her cigarette.

“That’s an ugly habit.”

Clarke chuckled. “Thanks for the input.”

“Ladies, be nice.” 

“See you tomorrow Gustus,” Lexa turned around.

“See you tomorrow Lexa,” Gustus and Clarke said. “Told you,” Clarke whispered to Gustus.

“You must have done something to upset her.”

“If you find out, please tell me,” Clarke said. “I’m going back up. See you in a couple of hours.”

“Don’t enjoy yourself too much.” 

“I’ll try.”

* * *

Lexa liked to live alone. One of the best decisions of her life was when, a couple of years ago, she moved out from the apartment she shared with Anya. She liked the peace and calm that came with living alone. It felt liberating after spending more than half of her life living with someone or multiple somenones.

Being alone is something many people dread for all the wrong reasons. You can be alone and happy and never feel lonely. It’s all about the perspective.

Gustus was right, it was an early night for her. And Clarke was also right. 

Lexa shook her head and splashed the cold water over her face. She knew her headache would be much worse if she started to think about Clarke.

Her phone was always a good distraction. She walked to her jacket and went through the pockets, then through her bag. Her distraction wasn’t there. She picked up the pants she carelessly tossed to the floor and tapped around looking for her phone. But it wasn’t there either. She walked around her room searching for it, thinking it fell down when she was taking off her clothes. She looked under the bed and behind the door. That’s when she remembered where she left it. Office. Her distraction was making her think about Clarke.

She turned on her computer and opened her email.

_ Clarke, _

_ Are you still at the office? _

_ Lexa Woods _

 

Lexa was 90% sure her phone was on her desk, but there was a 10% chance that she lost it somewhere in the city and that was a too big of a possibility for Lexa to just let it slide.

After a couple of minutes Clarke responded.

_ Yes. _

 

Lexa rolled her eyes. For a second there she even thought about going back to the office and looking for it herself. She hated that she needed something from Clarke. And she hated even more that Clarke knew. 

_ Could you do me a favour and go into my office. I think I left my phone there, but I’m not sure.  _

_ Lexa Woods _

 

She tapped her fingers on the chair, waiting for a response. She imagined Clarke getting up from her chair and walking to Lexa’s door. She wondered if there was a part of her that wanted to say no to Lexa. She wondered if she would had said no if Clarke had asked her the same thing. She wondered if Clarke would had ever asked her something like that.

_ It’s locked. _

 

Lexa sighed. She should have told Clarke to go get the spare key before she told her to go look. But her mind wasn’t quite on it.

_ There’s a spare key in the kitchen behind the coffee machine. _

_ Lexa Woods _

 

_ Who leaves their spare keys behind coffee machines. _

The sarcasm was dripping from almost every message Clarke sent her. Or maybe Lexa just wanted it to be like that. 

 

_ I do. Have you found it? _

_ Lexa Woods _

 

_ Yes. Do you want me to take it or leave it? _

_ Clarke Griffin _

 

Lexa rolled her eyes. Again. It took her long enough. But Lexa decided to be a bigger person. Again.

_ You can leave it, I just wanted to know if it’s there. _

_ Thank you. _

_ Lexa Woods _

 

_ You’re welcome. _

Lexa was about to turn off her computer when another message popped up.

_ Do you want me to put the key back behind the machine? _

_ Clarke Griffin _

 

_ Yes, please. _

_ Lexa Woods _

_ P.S. mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke. _

 

_ Careful Lexa, I have your phone at my mercy. You need me not the other way around. _

Lexa took a deep breath. Then another. And another. 

_ It’s a really bad place to keep it. _

 

_ I don’t remember asking you for advice on where to keep my stuff. _

_ Lexa Woods _

 

_ Unfortunately for you, otherwise you wouldn’t be losing them. _

Lexa could feel the blood pumping in her ears.

 

_ I didn’t lose anything, but thanks for your concern. _

_ Lexa Woods _

 

_ You didn’t because I found it. _

Lexa could practically see the smirk on Clarke’s face. 

 

_ I’m sorry I interrupted you in your work. I hope it won’t happen again. _

_ Lexa Woods _

 

_ It was my pleasure. _

_ Goodnight Lexa Woods :) _

Lexa turned off her computer and went to bed. She fell asleep hours later, when Clarke’s face faded away.

* * *

It was a couple of minutes after midnight when Clarke came home that night. She took off her clothes as she walked into the bedroom. She tossed them on the pile of dirty laundry in the corner of her room that she had been planning for days to wash.

She went to the bathroom and under the shower. Her morning showers were short and cold and night ones were long and warm. Cold one gave her the chance to be and stay focused for the rest of the day. Warm one gave her mind a chance to wander away, relax and forget. 

Lexa Woods really did look like someone who wrote her name under every email she sent. Clarke laughed at the thought. Maybe in another life the two of them could had been friends. Maybe somewhere there is a version of Lexa that doesn’t hate her and a version of Clarke that doesn’t love the fact that Lexa hates her. Lexa looked like someone whom you’d want to have in your corner when things go awry.

Clarke put on a clean pair of shorts and a shirt and took her sketchbook off of the nightstand. She opened it on the last page and she smiled when she saw the girl she had spent weeks drawing. Clarke traced her fingers over the braids she put in her hair and dark, black circles she drew around her eyes. She turned the page and stared at the arm tattoo that looked a bit too familiar but odd enough to never place it where it belonged. 

Clarke closed the sketchbook and put it back on the nightstand. She laid down and pulled the covers over her body. It was a fantasy world she created for herself to run away to, to escape from the reality that was sometimes too much of everything not good. It was recent. A couple of weeks ago when her mind and hand wandered off to a warrior brunette and her blonde friend that were way too familiar. 

Clarke closed her eyes. There was a siren wailing somewhere in the distance. Someone was not having a good night, or a peaceful morning. Her mind went to her mother and the life she wanted for Clarke, full of death and empty promises. She thought about her dad and what he would had told her if he knew she said no to art. In many ways she disappointed both the living and the dead. But not herself. She fell asleep and dreamed of future.


	2. Chapter 2

Lexa stared at the piece of paper that a minute ago was hanging from the fridge. She stared at it and felt herself getting more irritated with every second she spent looking at it, reading the words that yesterday weren’t there. The neatly written words and a smiley face at the end of it.

‘It’s not stealing :)”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. Then one more. Then another one.

It was obvious that someone was doing it on purpose.

‘I hope you stay hungry today.’

“Hey Lexa.” Lexa quickly turned around and hid the paper behind her back. “What are you hiding?” It was Indra.

She met Indra a couple of years before, when she was looking for place to intern at. Lexa stumbled upon an old ad about an even older job. It had Indra’s contact information on it and Lexa took a shot. 

A month later she met with Marcus and had not only got an internship but also a job offer.

Lexa liked Indra. Lexa owed a lot to Indra. 

“Nice to see you down here, it’s been a while,” Lexa smiled when she saw her.

“Marcus wants to hire more people.”

“More?” 

“Yes, I guess things must be going pretty good.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

Indra raised her brows. She was one of the first people Lexa poured her heart to when she got passed for the promotion. “I hear Griffin is doing amazing things,” Indra said.

“Guess so.”

“I know you are trying to not be impressed, but you have to admit she’s doing some magic things.”

“You also know I’m not trying, I just am not impressed.”

“That’s…” Indra smiled “That’s a lie.”

“It’s not impressive. I could… I know some people who could do it.”

“And the fact that you could do it makes it less impressive?”

“I never mentioned myself.”

“Because you are too self concerned to do it so openly.” 

“But I hear Clarke is not.”

“She knows what she’s worth and she’s not afraid to tell everyone. I think that’s amazing. I think you should follow her lead,” Indra sat in one of the chairs in the corner of the room. “Anya told me you are not really happy with how things are going.”

“Anya sometimes has a really big mouth.”

“Is she right?” 

“Are you asking as the HR lady or as a friend?” 

“I’m asking as someone who cares.”

“I just didn’t think I’d be here.” Indra frowned. “I don’t mean here as in the company but here as the my position in it.”

“You think she took it?”

“I think he gave it to her.”

“She’s a really nice girl.”

“Can’t see it.”

“Maybe you should try and look,” Indra smiled.

“Why is everyone trying to make me look?”

“Because you could be surprised by what you find.” The paper Lexa was holding fell from her hand. She quickly leaned down and picked it up. But not quick enough for Indra to not see it.” “What’s that behind your back?” Indra leaned trying to see what Lexa was hiding.

“Something personal.”

“You look… strange.” Indra got up and walked up to Lexa.

“What would happen if someone was caught stealing?” 

“Stealing what?” 

“I don’t know, maybe lunch.”

“Is someone stealing your lunch?” 

“Maybe.”

“Do you want me to maybe do something about it?” 

“No,” Lexa looked at the paper in her hand. “It’s just really pissing me off.”

“I could make something official about it.”

“That wouldn’t be really helpful,” Lexa sighed. 

“What are you going to do about it?” 

“I don’t know, I’ll think of something.”

“Do you want my advice? As a friend.”

“Maybe.”

“Make them remember it.”

“I’m not a fan of going that low,” Lexa chuckled.

“Says the person still bitter for not getting the job, even after all those months,” Indra chuckled “But that’s my advice, you do what you think is best and if you want HR lady help then just call me.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll say hi to Marcus for you,” Indra waved to her before she left.

Lexa looked again at the words on that damn paper. It must had been written by someone who spends a lot of time writing by hand. Someone who uses a pen and paper a lot and likes it. Someone who cares about the way they present to the world. You can’t be writing like that and not care. She put the paper back on the fridge and walked out of the kitchen. 

Lexa was checking her messages as she was walking back to her office. 

“I know you probably missed it but you should look up when you walk.” The words startled Lexa and she stopped. She looked up and saw Clarke. 

“Sorry,” Lexa mumbled out.

“Have you found a better hiding place for your keys?”

“I won’t do that.” 

“But will you be able to live with me knowing?”

“Why?” Lexa furrowed her brows.

“I could break in.”

“You know where the key is why would you need to break in,” Lexa crossed her arms at her chest.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Do you ever joke?” 

“I just did.”

Clarke opened her mouth as to say something but then gave up and just shook her head before walking by Lexa who walked into her office smiling.

* * *

“Look who graced us with her presence.”

“Hi Raven,” Clarke rolled her eyes at her friend. “Hi Lincoln,” she smiled at him. It was the first coffee break the three of them had together in more than a week. Raven and her were friends since college and she met Lincoln when she started working there. They hit it off from the beginning. He was a sweet and funny man. The two of them were Clarke’s prefered way of spending the short coffee break they could afford at the same time.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Lincoln said.

“She has been too busy building her relationship with her nemesis,” Raven smirked.

“With who?” Lincoln asked.

“Don’t listen to her. I was just really busy. It feels good to breathe a bit. I missed you guys.”

“But have you missed us really? Or your nemesis was a good substitute?” 

“I haven’t even spent any time with her, you make no sense.” 

“Who is this nemesis?” Lincoln asked again.

“Your friend,” Raven said.

“Which one? Lexa?” 

“I love how you got it right from the first try.”

“She’s not my nemesis,” Clarke said.

“Does she know that?” Raven asked.

“Raven,” Clarke warned her.

“Wait what’s going on?” Lincoln asked confused.

“Oh sweet child, you must be the only person in the building who doesn’t know how much they hate each other.”

“I don’t hate her.”

“Again, does she know that?” 

“Lexa doesn’t hate you,” Lincoln chuckled.

Raven laughed. “You’re delusional.”

“She doesn’t,” he added. “She just doesn’t like you.”

“Or maybe she likes her too much,” Raven wiggled her brows.

“Raven,” Clarke groaned. “Stop please,” she sighed. “When are you going on your date?” Clarke deflected. Raven blushed. “Look at her face, so cute,” Clarke laughed. 

“Your date is very excited about it,” Lincoln grinned.

“She is?” Raven asked.

“Don’t tell her I said that, she’ll kill us both.”

“We are all going to karaoke bar. 

“What?” 

“No,” Clarke shook her head.

“Yes please, I need support,” Raven put her hands together. “Please Clarke. Please, please, please.” 

“Okay, okay.” 

“Great, that makes five of us.”

“What?” Clarke asked. “Who else?” 

“You, me, Anya, Maya and Lexa.”

“What?” 

“You are kinda repeating yourself.” 

“Why am I not invited?” Lincoln chuckled.

“Because. Only girls,” Raven said.

“I’m not doing that.”

“You said yes.”   
“Yeah, before I knew…”

“Oh c’mon Clarke, you’ll survive a couple of hours.”

“Raven…”

“Please Clarke, don’t make me beg again.”

“Okay,” Clarke gave in. “When?” 

“Next Saturday.”

“You owe me big time.”

“My life,” Raven got up from her chair and walked to Clarke. She tapped the top of her head. “And everything else you want,” she added. “I have to go, I have a meeting in 10 minutes. See you guys.” 

“She doesn’t hate you,” Lincoln said when Raven left the room.

Clarke smiled. “It’s okay Lincoln, I’m a big girl, I know everyone can’t love me.”

“No but I don’t think I’ve heard her say she hated anyone ever.”

“I don’t know what it is, but it’s an emotion and not a really good one.”

“She just has to get used to you. You are different.”

“Yeah, I did something no one else did.” 

“I don’t think that has anything to do with it.”

“You’re sweet,” Clarke smiled.

“She just needs more time.”

“I think she’s had more than enough of that,” Clarke chuckled. “Really it’s fine. As long as we can act like humans and work together, everything is great. We don't need to be friends. God knows I hate more than one person.”

“It’s just too bad. I think you could be really good friends.”

* * *

“So your new friend is a funny one.”

“Not my friend.”

“Pen pal.”

“Anya I swear to God.”

“Paper pen pal.”

“I hate you.”

“But now we can conduct an investigation,” Anya grinned. “We just need to go around the office and ask everyone to write something. If they say no then they are the thief.”

“If I was doing it and the person I was doing it to came to me with something like that, I’d write in the ugliest way possible.”

“You’re really going to be pen pals with this person, I love it.”

“Maybe I can spy on them somehow.”

“We can do it in shifts. I do mornings and you do nights.”

“I really hate you.”

“You’d be completely lost without me.”

“God, I haven’t told you yet what happened to me.”

“What?”

“Last night I left my phone in the office and I realized it only when I was already in bed. I had to ask Clarke to see if it was in my office.”

“You talked with Clarke?”

“I emailed her.”

“Of course you did,” Anya chuckled. “She helped you?”

“Yes. I told her how to get in the office and she found my phone.”

“You told her about the key?”

“She made fun of me because of it.”

“Of course she did,” Anya laughed. “Everyone does.”

“It’s a good hiding place.”

“It’s really not.”

“No one knows what it is and what it does.”

“Yeah and one day someone will throw it out and then someone else will dig it out of the trash and steal all your things.”

“Sure, and then I’ll move to Mars.”

“Promise you’ll email me.”

“You should hang out with Clarke. You two would fit perfectly together.”

“I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel flattered or offended,” Anya said. “But we both will hand out with Clarke.”

“What?” 

“Next Saturday we all are going to the karaoke. And by all I mean you, me, Raven, Maya and Clarke.”

“And why do you think I’ll do that?” 

“Because I said please. Raven wants it and I kinda want to hang out with her and please.”

“I really don’t want to spend…”

“I know, you don’t even have to be near her. Just there, somewhere, please.”

“The things I do for people that make fun of me.”

“I promise I’ll try to do it less.”   
“Wow, instead of saying you won’t do it anymore you promise to try to do it less.”   
“Aren’t I great?” 

“So great.”

 

It was after 7 and Clarke was still at work. She was in the kitchen eating pizza when Lexa came in behind her back and scared her.

“Jesus. You could’ve said hi, you almost gave me a heart attack.” She wasn’t expecting so it was strange to see Lexa stand next to her. “I thought I was alone.” Clarke hadn’t seen anyone around the offices for almost an hour. She thought it was strange Lexa wasn’t there. 

“That thing will give you one before I do,” Clarke followed Lexa’s eyes. She was looking at the almost empty box of pizza in front of her. 

“Don’t tell me you are also one of those people,” Clarke said. She watched closely at Lexa while she made herself coffee. Clarke saw her looking at the piece of paper hanging loosely from the fridge. Lexa spent a second too long looking at it. Clarke smiled. 

“Isn’t it a bit late for that.”

“It’s 10 past 7,” Clarke quickly looked away when she saw Lexa turning back at her. 

“I know,” she was seemingly unaffected by what she read. 

“It’s never late for pizza.”

“Good luck dying young.”

Clarke laughed. “People keep telling me you are not always like this but I just can’t bring myself to believe them.”

“What people?” Lexa frowned. 

“People,” Clarke smiled.

“Okay.” 

“Are you leaving?” Clarke asked when she saw Lexa was about to leave her.

“Why?” 

“It’s a literal storm outside.”

“What’s it to you?” 

“Forget it,” Clarke shook her head. “But don’t forget your phone, I’m not in the mood to play hide and seek.”

Lexa left without saying a word. Clarke spent another couple of minutes eating the rest of her pizza. When she was finished she put the box in the trash and stopped in front of the fridge on her way out. 

‘Missed your salad.’

She tried to hide her smile as she walked by Lexa’s office. She caught Lexa looking at her.

* * *

“I’ve missed this.”

“Really?”

“Why do you sound so surprised? You are my only friend who drinks beer.”

“Oh, that explains it,” Bellamy grinned.

Bellamy was the only friend Clarke had that didn’t care, the only one she knew she could call at any time of day of night and he’d be there. And he wouldn’t ask too many or any questions. 

“No, but I really missed you.”

“Missed you too.” Bellamy looked around. “So, who’s the target tonight?” 

“No one.” Clarke laughed.

“We can’t break tradition.”

“I’m not really in the mood. You do it.”

“That’s not tradition.”

“Then we will have to break it.”

“Griffin, do you have something to tell me?”

“What?” Clarke asked confused.

“Is there someone I don’t know about?”

“Definitely not.”

Clarke emptied her glass and thought about the last time they did something like that. She got too drunk and woke up in the bed next to the person whose name she did not remember. 

“Raven told me…”

“Do I wanna really know what she told you?”    
“She said you’ve been single for a while.”

“I just needed a break. Still need one.” Clarke looked around at all the women dancing and men watching them. “I’m just tired of it all.”

“That’s something I never thought I’d hear from you.”

“There’s a first time for everything.” Clarke emptied her glass. She checked the time on her phone. “It’s kinda late. I have work tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah, infamous nine to five.”

“More like seven to ten.”

“Maybe you should take a break and do a regular nine to five. You look like you could use it.”

“Bellamy Blake are you trying to tell me something?” Clarke smiled.

“You look tired. World won’t stop existing if you stop for a minute and take a second to think about yourself. You haven’t done that in a while, have you?”

“Maybe.”

“When was the last time you’ve spent 24 hours without checking your email or going to the office?”

“You are talking as if you’re not doing the same thing and living the same life.”

“I’m not. I work when I need to and I don’t take it home and I never will.”

“It’s easier for you.”

“Is it?” Bellamy said. She saw in his eyes the same things she avoided thinking about. “Are you still drawing?” 

“Most days.”

“You should make it bigger, again. Like it used to be.”

“I’m a grown up now.”

“And?”    
“And grown ups don’t spend most of their time playing.”

“It’s not playing.”

“Kinda is.”

“I know you feel guilty but…”

“I don’t.”

“You should build a life outside of your work life.”

“Now I remember why we don’t do this more often.”

“Because you know I’m right and truth is never always easy to hear,” Bellamy said. Clarke knew what he was thinking about and what he wanted her to think. “But you should do it, if for nothing then to recharge.”

“I think tired looks good on me.” 

“Yeah, it’s so hot.”

“It’s easier to be single that way.”

“Who said you needed a relationship?” 

“You know people fall in love with me way too easy.”

“When I think about it, your life is so hard.”

“You can’t even imagine.”

“Unfortunately I can’t.”

“We should really go. I mean I should, you can stay. That blonde over there looks like she could help you imagine how hard my life is.” Clarke tilted her head where blonde girl that was staring at their table for quite some time was. 

“I think she’d prefer you.”

“What?” Clarke turned around and the girl smiled. 

“See,” Bellamy chuckled.

Clarke smiled. “Poor girl.”

* * *

Lexa started to get notes. Every day.

First one was something about her not being willing to play the long game. She didn’t really understand it. The next one was a bit more familiar:

‘I thought this could be a start of a beautiful friendship.’

Lexa decided to ignore it, even though every fiber of her being wanted to answer, say something. She knew there was no point in saying anything back, that the response was something the other side hoped for. So Lexa remained silent. 

The next day she got another note:

‘It’s kinda amusing seeing how pissed you are.’

She ignored it. She didn’t want to give them the pleasure of knowing they were getting under her skin. Because they were.

‘I think you like this.’

That was where Lexa drew the line. Or at least that’s what she told herself. The truth was she was itching to write back, something, anything.

‘Then you shouldn’t think.’ was what she wrote. 

‘You can do better than that.’ was what her ‘friend’ wrote back. 

* * *

“I like this person,” Anya said after she read the last message the anonymous food thief left for Lexa. “I mean how dare they,” she added after she saw the way Lexa was looking at her.

“I’m starting to change my mind about going to Marcus, or Indra, and doing something about this.”

“But they’re not doing anything anymore, other than messing with you.”

“Just because I stopped bringing lunch with me doesn’t mean it wouldn’t happen again.”

“I think this person has a thing for you.”

“I think you should really think before you speak.”

“I never said what kind of thing,” Anya said. “Maybe someone really hates you. Have you stepped on someone’s toes lately?”

“No.”

“Except Clarke’s.”

“She stepped on mine, not the other way around.”

“That depends on how you look at it,” Anya laughed. “You are the only person here who doesn’t like her. Did you know that? She’s like the only person that’s universally liked.”

“And since when should I care what other people think about anything?”

“I’m just saying.”

“It’s not Clarke.”

“You sound so sure.” 

“I doubt she’d lose time on this.”

“Maybe she needs a fun pastime and you happened to be there.”

“It’s not Clarke.”

* * *

“You look tired.” Lexa quickly opened her eyes and sat up on her chair. She maybe fell asleep, just maybe. But it had been a long day and an even longer night. “Maybe you should go home.” Lexa saw Clarke standing in front of her office, she had a big pile of papers in her hands, her hair was tied up in a bun and if it were anyone other than Clarke, Lexa would own up to the thoughts running through her head in that moment. But it was Clarke, and Lexa blamed it on the lack of sleep.

“I’m fine.”

“You were sleeping.”

“I wasn’t, I just had my eyes closed.”

“Really?” 

“Why are you still here?” Lexa asked.

“I have a report I have to finish by the morning,” Clarke leaned her shoulder on the door frame. “Oh, you meant here as in here, not at work.”

Lexa was starting to have a harder time keeping her eyes from going down Clarke’s body. “Yes.”

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Why?” 

“Can you pretend for just a second that you’re not supposed to be like… that.”

“What do you want Clarke?”    
“Why do you hate me?” 

“I don’t hate you.”

“There’s no need for any of that what you have going on now. What happens here stays here.”

“I don’t hate you Clarke.” 

“Then why don’t you…”

“What? Why I don’t like you?” 

“You don’t have to like me Lexa.”

“Again, what’s this all about then.”

Clarke sighed. “Forget it.” Clarke straightened her body. “I just hope it’s worth all… that,” she said. “Have a good night Lexa.”


	3. Chapter 3

“You promise I don’t have to be around all night?” Lexa was locking her car at a parking lot not far from the karaoke bar she let Anya convince her to go. They were supposed to meet Clarke, Maya and Raven there in less than ten minutes. Anya already told her Clarke and Raven were going to be late. “I hate when people are late.”

“You don’t need another reason to hate her.”

“Promise me I don’t have to be around all night, please”

“You don’t, just pretend for a while that you don’t hate everyone there. Fake it, then you can get lost.”

“I feel like this will be a terrible night.” Lexa stretched her arms behind her back. She was waiting for Anya to finish texting with Raven. “You will see her in fifteen minutes, keep it in your pants for a bit please.”

“I feel like it’s gonna be amazing,” Anya smiled, she put her phone away and they started to walk to the place.

“I don’t doubt it will for you,” Lexa chuckled.

“I’ll make sure you have fun.”

“Just make sure I’m never alone with her.”

“You just get a couple of drinks inside you and I’m sure you will come to realize that Clarke is not that bad to be around.” They got inside and looked around the place. They found an empty table and sat down. “I can’t be your babysitter but I will try to make your night as painless as possible.”

“Hey guys,” Maya turned up in front of them. “Oh good, I’m not last, I was afraid I’d be late.”

“When you are meeting with Clarke and Raven, coming last is not possible.”

“You’ve done this before?” Lexa looked at Anya.

“Couple of times.”

“Why did I not know?” 

“Because,” Anya raised her brows as if to say ‘You know damn well why.’

“There they are,” Maya said and pointed her head in the direction from where Raven and Clarke were walking towards them.

“Finally,” Anya said when they were within ears distance.

“It’s my fault,” Clarke raised her hands in defense and to apologize. “I got held up and I was running late, Raven was just good enough to wait. I thought she texted you.”

“I did,” Raven said.

“I’m just kidding,” Anya smiled.

“Hi you two,” Raven said to Lexa and Maya.

“Hi,” Clarke joined her.

Lexa made a point of not acknowledging Clarke’s existence. She nodded to Raven and turned to the rest of the small bar that they were in. There weren’t a lot of people there yet and she hoped that would change soon as that would make her life and avoiding plan easier.

“So who is singing today?” Maya asked.

“I know who is not,” Clarke laughed.

“I know who is,” Raven said looking at Clarke.

“No, I won’t,” Clarke repeated.

“Clarke sings amazing but doesn’t have the balls to do it.”   
“Same with Lexa,” Anya smirked.

“I don’t have any balls,” Lexa said, still not looking at Clarke or the rest of her friends.

“You’re so funny,” Anya said.

“Let’s do a duet,” Maya looked at Lexa.

“I really don’t sing,” she responded.

“I might do it.” Clarke jumped into a conversation. “If you will.” Lexa flinched. She knew it was a jab at her, and she knew Clarke knew what she was doing.  

“Me?” Maya asked.

“Sure why not, but I was asking Lexa.”

At the mention of her name Lexa turned her head to Clarke and saw her smiling knowingly. She knew Lexa would say no to her proposition, that was probably the only reason why she asked. To get a reaction from Lexa, and to get a no, for Lexa to essentially give up. That’s at least how Lexa saw that. So Lexa did what Lexa always does.

“I do yes,” she went against the flow.

“You do?” It was obvious her response took Clarke by surprise and that she wasn’t expecting to hear a yes.

“Yes. Do you have a song you want to do?” 

“Uhh… do you?”

“I know what I will sing.”

“Let’s rejoice, Lexa Woods is going to sing, I never thought this day would come, Clarke Griffin you are a miracle worker,” Anya said.

“It’s been my pleasure.” It looked like Clarke got a hold of herself again after Lexa’s response.

“You should probably go check in or put your name on some kind of a list,” Raven said to Clarke. “There’s a big line of people there, they are probably doing that same thing. I don’t want you to be late and not get a chance to hear Lexa sing.”

“Is anyone else singing?” Clarke asked.

“Oh, I won’t,” Raven said.

“Me neither when I think about it,” Maya grinned.

“I’m gonna sit back and enjoy the show,” Anya smirked.

“I feel played,” Clarke chuckled. “Shall we?,” she asked Lexa. 

“After you,” Lexa said. 

There was a line of people waiting to apply for the night and Lexa almost laughed. Of course that would be her luck, having to spend God knows how many minutes alone with Clarke.

“There’s like ten people back there and there’s more than twenty here,” Clarke said after a minute or so of waiting. Lexa just nodded even though she was almost sure Clarke wouldn’t be able to see it. She was okay with not interacting with the blonde. After a while Clarke took out her phone and sighed. “This will be a long night.”

Clarke smelled good and that was probably the thing Lexa hated the most about the situation she found herself in. Every time they moved a bit to the front, Lexa made sure to move a bit further away from Clarke. “Do I smell that bad?” 

“What?” 

“I know you’re not my biggest fan but you don’t have to stand 10 feet away from me.”

“I’m not.” 

“What will you sing?” 

“A surprise,” Lexa looked ahead of them, there was still ten people in front of them.

“By who?” Lexa looked at Clarke and frowned. “It’s a joke Lexa. Time will go faster if we talk.”

“It’s already going pretty fast,” Lexa looked away again.

“What’s your favorite song?” 

“Why?”

“Because I wanna know.”

“I don’t see why that is important.”

“I think you like country songs.”

“What?”

“You look like a country gal.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“What’s your favorite song?” 

“Leave me alone by me for you.”   
“Funny,” Clarke smiled.

“Name,” they both turned their head to the man standing in front of them, they got to the end of the line.

“You first,” Lexa stepped aside for Clarke.

“Such a gentlewoman,” Clarke winked at her and wrote down her name. Lexa rolled her eyes and wrote her name below Clarke’s.

“Do you know how long until we go up there?” Lexa asked the guy.

“Two hours probably, maybe a bit more.”

“Thank you,” Lexa smiled and turned to go back.

“You should smile more,” Clarke said to her while they were walking back to their friends.

“I smile plenty.”

“You should do it more often.”

“We thought you left,” Raven said when they got back to the table.

“It was a really long line.”

“I thought you killed each other,” Anya said.

Lexa rolled her eyes. “I’m going to get a drink,” she said.

“You just got back,” Anya shook her head.

“Have fun,” Lexa said before she left. 

Lexa felt like she was free to breathe when she finally got to the bar. She ordered her drink and sat at one of the chairs. She turned around and leaned her back on the bar. She emptied her glass and ordered another one when she saw blonde hair being pulled up in a bun.

They looked like they were having fun. Then she saw Clarke getting up and walking to her. 

“Already getting drunk?,” blonde said when she got to her.

“Just drinking.”

“Why are you here all alone?” 

“I don’t wanna rain on your parade.”

“We both are here because our friends asked us, can’t you pretend I’m not there and be with your friend?”

“Not everything is about you.”

“No shit, but you keep making it about me. And making everyone feel like shit in the process,” Clarke sighed. “Just go back there and sit and be broody and sulky and everything else you are. If I can suck it up for a couple of hours so can you.” Clarke turned to the waiter, she put an empty glass in front of him. “Can I get a four of these for that table over there?,” she pointed her finger back to their table. The waiter said yes and Clarke went back to their friends.

A couple of minutes later Lexa joined them.

“Wow look who it is,” Anya said.

“Did you miss me?” 

“So much,” Anya crossed her arms.

“Next round’s on me.”

“I’m going to the ladies room,” Raven stood up. “Clarke?” 

“I also have to go,” Maya said.

“Don’t get lost,” Anya yelled after them. “What the fuck Lexa?,” she turned to Lexa.

“What?” 

“Why are you acting like a total jerk?”

“You told me I could get lost.”

“I didn’t think you’d do it straight away.”

“What do you need me for anyway, you were doing pretty good without me.”

“That’s so not the point…”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa put her hand over her face. She knew she was acting childish. “I don’t know what happens to me when she’s around, I turn into some crazy version of myself. I’ll do better.”

“You’re acting like you hate the fact that you hate her.”

“Don’t start with that please.”

“Maybe spend some time trying to not hate her, you’ll see she’s a decent human and really fun to be around,” Anya said. “Get over the fact that she has what you want.”

“What did we miss?” The three girls came back and sat each at their chair. Lexa looked at Clarke, busy on her phone, typing something. She was frowning and didn’t look very happy. After the last text she read, she slammed the phone at the table.

“Who pissed in your pants?” Anya asked

“It’s my mother.”

“The good doctor is bothering you?” 

“She’s always bothering me.” Clarke leaned back in her chair. She caught Lexa looking at her.

“I think she’s nice,” Lexa said.

“She thinks the same about you.”

“One time I was there for dinner and she went on for almost half an hour talking about you, how great you are,” Raven grinned. “I’m still certain she has a thing for you.”

Lexa smiled. She hadn’t spent a lot of time with Abby, but the little she did was always nice and she left it feeling better about herself. 

“She doesn’t,” Clarke added.

“Oh my God,” Raven grabbed Clarke’s hand and started to laugh. “Do you remember when you came back from Asia and we all had that dinner together?” 

“Yes,” Clarke said.

“Do you remember when she said she has someone she’d like for you to meet and how she thinks you’d be a perfect match?”

“Where is this going?”

“She was talking about Lexa.”

“What?” Clarke and Lexa said at the same time. They looked at Raven then at each other then back at Raven.

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asked.

“The pretty and smart, with good values and kind heart your mother was trying to hook you up with was Lexa.”

“That is the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard,” Anya said. Everyone at the table except for Clarke and Lexa was laughing.

“I can’t wait to tell her how royally wrong she was about you two.” 

“If they had met under different circumstances, who knows,” Anya teased.

“Can you imagine?”

“Next up is Clarke Griffin. Clarke where are you?” Someone from the front of the bar was calling Clarke’s name over the mic.

“Fuck, I have to go sing,” she groaned. “I hate you for making me do this,” she said to Raven.

“Honey you volunteered.” 

“Break a leg,” Maya smiled at her.

With more than a couple of drinks in her system, Lexa’s body took ahold of her brain and she started to notice and look at things she never would if she was sober. Probably.

It was the first time she noticed Clarke was wearing a dress, just above her knees. She’d probably never had noticed it if it wasn’t riding up her thighs as she walked to the small improvised stage near the bar. Lexa ordered another drink.

“Go Clarke.” Raven cheered when blonde got on the stage and said hi to the big crowd in front of her. 

She let her hair down. It was the first time Lexa noticed that the dress was a low cut one and it made Lexa’s throat go dry. She ordered another drink.

Lexa recognized the song the second the music started to play. Raven and the rest of them were cheering and Lexa was just staring. At the way Clarke’s body moved in tune with the music, the way she sounded and the way she looked at her. 

“ _...very low key on the profile. Catching feelings is a no, let me tell you how it goes, curves the words, spins the verbs, lovers it curves so freak what you heard.”  _

Clarke must have noticed the way Lexa was looking at her because with each line it seemed like she was singing it for and at Lexa. 

“ _ I like the way you work it, no diggity, I gotta bag it up.” _

It was alcohol. Lexa blamed it all on the alcohol. The fact that she looked and the fact that she couldn’t look away. At the end of the day she was just a human and some things were even out of her control.

“Thank you,” the song finished and everyone looked thrilled with Clarke’s performance. She got off the stage and hurried back to the table.

“That was fucking awesome,” Raven grinned.

“You killed it,” Anya added.

“You were amazing,” Maya said.

“Thank you,” Clarke smiled. “What did you think?,” she looked at Lexa.

“Next up is Lexa Woods.”

“Have fun trying to top that,” Anya said.

Lexa flipped her off and walked to the stage. As she was walking she realized she maybe had one drink too many to be going up there and singing in front of people. But it was too late to back out. She knew it was going to be another battle she lost to Clarke. 

“ _ I wake up every morning, with a big smile on my face, and it never feels out of place…” _

Maya and Raven were giving her thumbs up, Anya was laughing at her and Clarke was sitting back in her chair and watching her.

“ _ When you see my face hope it gives you hell hope it gives you hell, when you walk my way hope it gives you hell hope it gives you hell.” _

Clarke was smiling. That was not what Lexa had in mind when she decided to sing that song, but Clarke was smiling and the alcohol didn’t mind. 

“ _ When you hear this song I hope that it will treat you well, you can sing along I hope that it puts you through hell.” _

When she song ended, Lexa let out a long breath, smiled to the crowd and quickly got off the stage. 

“That was hilarious,” Anya was still laughing at her.

“Fuck off.”

“You sing really good,” Maya smiled.

“Woods I never imagined you rock so hard,” Raven said.

“Sometimes your face does give me hell,” Clarke raised her brow.

“I’m glad,” Lexa smiled.

“I never imagined this night playing out like this,” Anya said. 

“You’re not the only one,” Lexa continued.

“It’s been a lot of fun, but I have to go,” Maya started to get her things. 

“What? No, why?” Raven asked.

“I have an early morning tomorrow, my sister is in town,” she got up.

“Thank you for coming,” Raven said.

“Thank you for thinking of me. I had fun,” Maya smiled. “Hope the rest of your night is as fun,” she got up and went home.

“We’ll make sure it is,” Raven waved to her. “I wanna dance.” She turned to Anya after Maya left. 

“I can help with that,” Anya said.

“Please do,” she took Anya’s hand and stood up. “You two play nice,” she said to Clarke and Lexa.

It was a strange feeling being alone with Clarke, it felt different than before, there was less rage and more curiosity. Lexa didn’t like it or trust it.

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” she said shortly after Raven and Anya went to dance.

“Already running from me,” Clarke shook her head.

“I think you’d like it more with me not being around.”

“That’s not…”

“Do you want a drink?” 

Clarke sighed. “I’m good.”

Lexa was actively trying not to look at Clarke. Not to stare. She was sitting at the bar and with every minute that went on, and ever sip she took, it got harder and harder to ignore and to remember what she was supposed to feel about Clarke.  

Ten minutes later her body won again and she turned around. She saw Clarke and a stranger sitting next to her. Clarke was shifting uncomfortably in her chair and the guy had his hand around her chair. She saw Clarke looking left and right, trying to avoid him or find a pair of eyes she knew.

“Excuse me, who are you?,” Lexa stood next to Clarke and glared at the guy.

“Don’t you see you are interrupting?,” he said back to her.

Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s forearm and squeezed hard. “You’re finally here,” she looked up at her, panic in her eyes.

“I think you should leave,” Lexa said to the guy. 

“We were having a perfectly good time until you came, so I think you are the one that has to leave.”

“If you want to keep your teeth inside your mouth, you should really get up and fuck off.”

“Are you threatening me?” 

“I am.” 

“We should go,” Clarke said, still looking at her.

“No, he will leave.”

“I won’t.”

“You fucking will.” 

“Lexa.” Suddenly Clarke was standing up, in Lexa’s space and her hand was on Lexa’s chest.

“Blondie, get back here.” Lexa looked over Clarke’s shoulder and saw him stand up. She quickly put her body between him and Clarke.

“Listen you piece of shit. You can leave or you can have your buddies laugh at you because a girl beat the shit out of you.” Clarke was still holding Lexa’s arm.

“What’s going on here?,” Anya appeared next to Lexa. 

“This bitch…” 

“Call me that again and it will be the last thing you’ll ever say.”

“Fuck you,” he turned around and left. Clarke’s grip on Lexa’s arm loosened and after a couple of seconds she was no longer holding her.

“What was that?” Anya asked.

“He was bothering Clarke.”

“And you almost got into a fight with a guy double your size?” 

“Thank you,” she heard Clarke whisper behind her.

“Anyone would have done that,“ Lexa turned around and smiled softly.

“Thank you,” Clarke said again.

“Anytime.” 

“I’m gonna go,” Clarke picked up her bag. “More than enough fun for one night.” 

“Do you want…” Lexa didn’t know what she was going to offer so she stopped mid-sentence.

“I’ll take the cab,” Clarke smiled. “I’ll see you all Monday.”

“What was that all about?” Anya asked her when Clarke left.

“What?” 

“You two.”

“What about it?” 

“It didn’t look like hate,” Anya smirked.

“Fuck off.”

* * *

It was strange feeling things you were not used to. For Lexa that was feeling something that caused trouble. When she got home that night she spent hours awake, trying to get rid of said feelings. She was worried about Clarke. It started when she saw her leaning away and looking for the way out when that guy was bothering her. It went on while Clarke gripped to her arm like there was no tomorrow, when Clarke went home. It didn’t stop when Lexa was lying awake in her bed.

It was strange, not welcome and Lexa hoped it would go away once she got back to her normal self. She blamed it on the situation and nature. But she wanted to kill that guy and she wasn’t sure it was because of the situation or nature.

She fell asleep when she convinced herself something she knew was a lie. 

* * *

When Monday came around Lexa was anxious to go to work. Saturday wasn’t far enough and another work week was too close. Whatever happened that night, and however Lexa acted and whatever she thought, she blamed it on something else, and someone else, on anything and anyone other than herself. She and Clarke had to go back to the usual. Nothing else existed.

Lexa blamed her Saturday on everything and anyone, but deep down she knew it was her thoughts that were in her head. 

“Morning,” Clarke interrupted her thoughts. They got to the building at the same time even though Lexa tried to be late, later than usual. 

“Morning,” Lexa mumbled out.

“Back to usual?” They got into the elevator. It was a long ride up.

“It never was anything else,” Lexa held her head up high. She looked at the gray metal door and counted the floors until they would open.

She heard Clarke sigh. She was probably thinking it would be different. Lexa closed her eyes. 

“Thank you.” Lexa frowned. “There were a lot of people who saw it and decided to ignore. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me Clarke, I did what every decent person would do.”

“Okay.” 

Elevator doors opened and Lexa quickly went out and to her office. She closed the door behind her before Clarke opened her door. She leaned back and sighed. It was going to be a long day.

For the next five hours Lexa pretended nothing and no one existed. She buried her head deep down in work but couldn’t help but hear Clarke laugh next door.

When lunchtime came around Lexa had hope.

‘This time I am sorry.’

Half of Lexa’s lunch was gone. 

“I’ve had enough of this shit.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I don’t get what your problem is Clarke.”

“You know what my problem is mom,” Clarke glared at her mother, “You’re the reason I have it,” she added.

“You could have said no.”

“You made sure to say yes for me.”

“Marcus says you are doing a great job, I don’t see what is all this fuss about.”

Clarke was pressured into doing dinner dates with her mother and Marcus. Once every month. The last one was always more excruciating than the one before. She loved her mother, but sometimes, more often than not, it was a pain in the ass to deal with her. Especially when she made promises in her name, all with Clarke’s best interest in her mind, of course. Or at least the interest she saw as the best one for Clarke. 

“I have to work twice as hard as the next person because all of them already think I got the job because my mom is sleeping with the boss.”

“Clarke, be careful.”

“I’m tired of being careful,” Clarke sighed.

“Talk with Marcus about it.”

“Yes, that will solve my problems, if I get their boss to yell at them because they hurt my feelings.”

“Talk with them then.”

“And tell them what? It’s not me it’s my mother,” Clarke said. “Besides they are not interested in listening about my problems.”

“Who is this they that is giving you trouble?”

“They are my problem.”

“Then I can’t help you about it,” Abby said.

“I never asked for any of your help, but still…”

“Good evening ladies,” Marcus and his big smile interrupted Clarke. It was probably for the best. She smiled politely and put on a different face, one without problems. “How are you?” Abby was always great at it, finding the right face for every situation, and it had been one thing Clarke got from her. “Did I interrupt something?,” he asked.

“No, no, we were just talking,” Abby kissed him on the cheek.

“Clarke, haven’t seen you in a while. How are you?,” he asked her.

“I’m great, it’s great,” Clarke smiled.

“Before I forget, I just got off the phone with Lexa, we are going on a business trip in a couple of weeks.”

“You and Lexa?” 

“And you,” Marcus said.

“What did I say about work talk?” Abby put her hand on top of Marcus’ and smiled at him.

“You are right, I’m sorry,” he smiled back at her.

Trip with Lexa. That sounded like the worst idea Clarke had heard in a while. It’s not that she hated it, but she was almost certain Lexa was going to be unbearable. 

“Have you found time for our trip?,” Abby asked.

“If the work one goes well then I could probably leave for some time and leave it to those two, they should be capable of not running the place to the ground,” he smiled at Clarke. 

She nodded and smiled back at him, her mind was elsewhere. After that night at the karaoke bar Clarke thought things were going to be different between her and Lexa. Maybe not friendly but at least friendlier. She thought Lexa would be able to see behind the picture she painted in her head. She would see that there’s more and a lot less to Clarke than she thought and convinced herself to. The limbo that they were put in, with Lexa's decision, was driving Clarke mad. She wanted Lexa to man up or drop it down. And for a moment it looked like Lexa was ready to drop it.

Lexa was different that night. She was calmer and lighter than any other time Clarke had spent with her. She hoped it was the sign of things to come, that it wasn’t going to be a one time thing. But her hope died as soon as they got to work the next Monday. Lexa was back to her usual peachy self and Clarke realized all her hope is futile because Lexa’s picture was not about to be redrawn. At least not in one night.

Lexa was not ready to take off her goggles and Clarke lost hope that she was ever going to be ready. But there was another problem that Clarke was yet to deal with. She started to notice things on Lexa that she hadn’t noticed before. The curl of her mouth when she smiled, the spark in her eyes when she said something funny, the hair that when down looked softer than anything in the world. 

Clarke was not ready to put those goggles on.

* * *

“Monty, I need a favor.” Lexa had a coffee in one hand and unmarked box in the other.

“That sounds dangerous.”

“I brought you coffee,” Lexa lifted the cup in her hand. 

“And what’s that?,” he pointed to the box in her other hand.

“That’s the favor.”

“What is it?” 

“I need you to say yes.”

“To what?,” he frowned. “Is it illegal?” 

“Maybe,” Lexa bit her lower lip.

“What did you get yourself in?”

“Nothing, I promise. I need to uncover something.”

“What?”

“Who’s been stealing my lunch.”

“Is that a camera?,” he took the box out of her hand and opened it.

“Yes. I wanna put it in the kitchen and film whoever it is that’s been doing it.”

“We can’t just put a camera there without saying so. We can’t film people without their permission.”

“They also can’t be taking what’s not theirs, but still someone has been doing it for weeks now.”

“I know, and I agree with you, it’s wrong. But you need to go talk to Indra or Marcus, not film them. We are invading their privacy.”

“Someone is invading my privacy. I tried to be the bigger person and wait and hope they would stop, but it’s not stopping and I lost all my patience. Please Monty.”

“Lexa, I…”

“Please, just one day. If nothing happens, we will take it down and we won’t do it anymore.”

“I still think it’s not a good idea,” Monty sat back in his chair and observed the camera in his hand.

“I know, but do it for me, just this once, please.”

“Okay,” Monty sighed and gave up. There were battles he could win but not those where Lexa was on the other side. 

“If we get caught, I’ll take all the blame, no one will know you had anything to do with any of this. I promise.”

“When do you wanna put it up?”

“Now.” 

“Now?,” he asked.

“Yes, everyone is at the meeting now,” Lexa looked at her phone, “and they will be for the next half an hour, which means that the kitchen is empty.”

“Let’s go.” 

The kitchen was empty, just like Lexa said it would be. Monty got on one of the chairs and put the camera up on one of the cupboards opposite the fridge. He plugged it in and turned it on. He opened his laptop and connected it to the camera. 

“This is a good angle?,” he asked. Lexa looked at the screen. Camera covered the door and the fridge, there was no way she wouldn’t see their face.

“It’s perfect, thank you so much.”

“I’ll send you the link when I get back to the office. It will be up for 24 hours. After that we come back and take it down.”

“Thank you,” Lexa said again.

When she got back to her office Monty had already sent her the link, like he promised. She opened it and had a perfect view of the crime scene. She smiled and closed the tab with the livestream. In less than 24 hours she'd know who the bad guy was.

“What if you catch someone having sex?,” Anya asked her the next morning. They were in the kitchen having coffee. Anya spent half the time looking around trying to find the camera and the other half trying to get Lexa to tell her where it was.

“I doubt someone will be having sex in the kitchen at lunchtime.”

“What if they are taking your food early in the morning, not at lunch when everyone is there?” 

“I’ll rewind the tape and see who it is.”

“You are storing it somewhere?” 

“I told you I’m not going to tell you how I’m doing it.”

“Where is the camera?”

“In the kitchen.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“I can live with that.”

“What will you do when you find out who it is?” 

“Beat the shit out of them.”

“Just don’t do it here, you’ll get fired,” Anya chuckled.

“Maybe I should get them fired.”

“For messing with you?,” Anya frowned. “I mean I know I was laughing about it, I know it’s really rude and terrible, but I don’t think it’s the right reason to get someone fired. Maybe they have problems, you never know.”

“I don’t care, their problems are not mine until they make it, and they made it when they started taking my stuff.”

“I know but is that the kind of thing you wanna do and be responsible for?” 

Lexa shook her head. She spent last night thinking what she was going to do when she found out who it was. Getting them fired crossed her mind more than once but she dismissed it the next second. She wasn’t going to be that person, even though she knew she had every right to be that person. “Relax, I’m not getting anyone fired. Besides, having me as your enemy is much worse than getting fired.”

“I second that,” Anya laughed. “Unfortunately I have to go now,” she filled her cup with more coffee, “work calls.” 

“I’ll see you later.”

“Keep me updated.”

Just as Anya was leaving, Clarke was coming through the door. They said hi to each other while Lexa remained silent. 

Clarke walked to the coffee machine and turned it on to make fresh coffee.

“Are you excited for the trip?” Lexa was busy looking through something on her phone to notice or hear Clarke say something to her. “Okay, this is a whole new level of ignoring,” she chuckled.

“You asked something?” Lexa looked at her confused.

“Not important,” Clarke waved it off and focused on the coffee she was making.

“I wasn’t ignoring, I didn’t hear you.”

“Like it’s important. I’m starting to get used to it anyway, so don’t worry.”

“You’re too old to be a brat,” Lexa continued to scroll through her phone.

“What did you just say?”

“I said that you are too old to be a brat,” Lexa looked at the girl standing next to her.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

Lexa chuckled. “Sure.”

“You are the biggest brat I’ve ever met or had the pleasure of knowing, and you can’t not be aware of that because I know you are not stupid.”

“I’m a brat?”

“You’ve been acting like one yes.”

“Because I’m not doing everything I can to make your life easy?”

“No, because you are doing everything you can to make my life hard.”

“Sometimes life is like that.”

“Especially when you’re a non confrontational brat.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“Have a nice day Lexa,” Clarke said as she was leaving.

“You too Clarke.”

Shortly after Clarke left Lexa took her coffee and walked back to her office. She turned on the computer and opened up the livestream from the kitchen. People were not going to start showing up for lunch for at least another hour, she switched the tab and got back to working. 

Half an hour later she noticed people started to go in and out of kitchen, earlier than she thought. Lexa leaned back in her chair and glued her eyes to the screen. Not even five minutes later she saw a familiar face walking into kitchen, opening the fridge, taking out her lunch, taking off Lexa’s post note from it, and closing the fridge.

“That bitch.”

* * *

Clarke’s lunch break took longer than usual. The line at the restaurant was long and the line at the coffee shop next door was even longer. She was anxious to get back to the office because she had a meeting with Marcus and potential new clients in less than an hour.

When she got back to the office she heard a familiar voice yelling at someone. Lexa was in her office with a girl whose name Clarke couldn’t remember. She knew she started working there just a couple of months ago and that she was always nice to her. Clarke walked into her office, trying not to look at what was going on in the one next to hers.

“What the fuck is your problem?,” she heard Lexa yell.

“So you didn’t like my messages?,” the other girl said.

Clarke chuckled, she realized what all the fuss was about. It took her some time to catch up with the events that were bothering Lexa so much. First time she knew something was suspicious was when she didn’t find Lexa in the kitchen, eating her lunch, after Clarke got back from hers. Lexa was a creature of habit and eating on time and always at the same time was one of her habits. So when she started to be more annoyed and eat lunch in the restaurant downstairs, Clarke knew something was wrong. That’s when she started noticing notes on the fridge. She felt bad for Lexa but also found the whole thing extremely amusing. 

“Are you insane? Is that your problem?,” Lexa was still yelling.

“Not everyone has to be your servant.”

“Do you hear what you’re saying? You don’t like me so you decided to steal my lunch and make fun of me by writing those messages?” With every word Lexa sounded angrier. Clarke got up and decided to stop the whole thing before it became a bigger and everyone’s problem. 

“What’s going on here?,” Clarke asked from the door.

“Nothing that concerns you,” Lexa said. She looked furios. Clarke had never seen her that mad.

“Why are you yelling at her?,” Clarke turned to Lexa, she decided to play dumb.

“I said it does not concern you.”

“Stop yelling and it won’t.”

“Please leave,” Lexa was gripping the back of a chair she was standing next to. It looked like she could rip it to pieces if she tried.

“I’m not leaving her alone with you.”

“I’m not going to do anything to her.”

“Stop yelling,” Clarke turned to the other girl, she remembered her name. “Ontari, what happened?”

“She’s been stealing my lunch is what happened,” Lexa was still yelling.

“What?,” seeing Lexa yell that out loud when she knew through how much trouble she went to keep it quiet and out of everyone’s reach almost made Clarke laugh.

“She’s been stealing my lunch,” Lexa said again, this time a lot less loud.

“Why?,” Clarke was still looking at Ontari.

“I don’t know,” Ontari said. She turned into a scared girl. Clarke knew it was all just an act, she heard her be not so scared not even a minute earlier. 

“I told you to stop saying that,” Lexa walked closer to Ontari but Clarke stood between them. 

“Stop,” Clarke pushed her hand against Lexa’s shoulder to keep her in place. Lexa looked at her, then at her hand, then back at Clarke.

“Why are you defending her Clarke?,” she didn’t move.

“I’m not defending her but you need to stop yelling at her.”

“Why?”

“Find someone your size.”

“Clarke, don’t get involved in something that has nothing to do with you.”

“Don’t be a bully.”

“I’m the bully?,” Lexa leaned closer, pushing against Clarke’s hand.

“Did she apologize?”

“That has nothing to do with anything.”

“Did she?”

“I’m sorry,” the girl said.

“See, she apologized.” 

“She shows no remorse, she enjoyed doing it,” Lexa looked over Clarke’s shoulder and at the girl behind her. Clarke wasn’t sure what Lexa would do if they weren’t in the office spaces.

“Lexa you need to calm down.”

“I don’t need to do that, Clarke.”

“Yes you do. Think about where you are.” Lexa looked around. She saw a couple of people standing in front of her office staring at them. They quickly walked away when they realized she saw them. “She did the wrong thing,” Lexa looked back at Clarke, “she apologized and you do with it what you want, just stop yelling at the girl,” Clarke turned around and smiled softly at Ontari. “Go.”

Ontari left and Clarke could see Lexa was not getting less angry.

“Why the fuck did you do that?,” she moved Clarke’s hand off her shoulder. 

“She was scared.”

“She should be,” Lexa said. “Maybe you are used to doing everything and anything to get what you want but the rest of us have a set of rules that you have to follow in life to be a decent person and one of them is to not steal.”

“I’m used to what?”

“Don’t act all innocent with me, I’m really not in the mood.”

“Be careful with your words Lexa,” Clarke said.

“Or what? You’re gonna run to you mommy’s boyfriend?”

“Fuck you.”

Lexa tilted her head. Clarke had never seen her that angry before. “I know you are used to getting everything your pretty head thinks of,” Lexa leaned closer to her. Clarke’s heart was beating as if was ready to jump out of her chest. “But if something has my name on it, then that means it belongs to me, not someone else, and I have every right to yell at whoever I want if they are taking my stuff.” 

“I know you are used to thinking you are God’s given gift to this planet and that everyone else is lesser,” Clarke’s chest heaved as she struggled to control her breathing and remain calm, the last thing she wanted was to give Lexa that pleasure, “but it’s nice to finally have you say it to my face.”

“You are defending a thief, but I can’t say I ever expected anything better from you.”

“You are a vain bitch and you deserve all this shit that happened. I have to say it was amusing,” Clarke licked her lips. “For a moment I wished it was me.”

“It would had been suitable. You are used to taking what’s mine.”

“I never took anything from you.”

“That’s your defense?”

Clarke wanted to wipe the smug look off of Lexa’s face. “Against what? Your fucked up thoughts?” Lexa’s eyes were burning with fire Clarke had never seen before. She wondered if they looked like that only when Lexa was angry.

“Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t do.”

“Or what?”

“Clarke, leave.”

“You will not taunt that girl, if you have a problem with her go to Marcus or to HR. You will not yell at her anymore.”

“Do you always defend bad guys?”

“Only when they are attacked by worse.”

“What?” 

“When will you gather enough balls to yell at me like that?” 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“You were pretty angry the last time I heard you talk about me, but still never to me. Even now you are dancing around it instead of being direct,” Clarke paused. “But I gotta give it to you, you said such nice things,” Clarke chuckled. “That’s when I realized why you hate me so much. And even then I tried, like a complete idiot, to be civil and to get on your good side, like it was my fault somehow. You are so self-obsessed that you think I took something from you and it never occured to you to talk to me or ask me or say all that to my face,” Clarke looked down Lexa’s face, her neck and to her arms. Her hands were closed in a fist and her knuckles were white. Clarke looked back at her face. 

“Nice of you to go and prove my point.”

“Please get over yourself,” Clarke crossed her hands. It was the only way to make some distance between her body and Lexa’s without taking a step back. “If you don’t like working with me then find another job, you are smart and competent and the best in the whole world so it won’t be hard for you. Or go to Marcus and whine, maybe you can get the job and live your bubbly perfect life.”

“Unlike you I don’t need Marcus or anyone else to solve my problems.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know plenty and I know you need to get out of my office if you don’t want bigger problems.”

“Are you threatening me?,” Clarke raised her brows.

“Don’t make me.”

“At least you finally found the balls to talk to me.”

“You haven’t heard anything,” Lexa’s chest went up and down, her eyes went over Clarke’s face and she was so close to her that Clarke could feel Lexa’s breath on her hands.

“Do your best, I promise I can take it,” Clarke smiled.

Lexa bit her lip so hard Clarke thought blood would start running from it. Clarke’s smile was what probably set Lexa off. “I think you are a spoiled little girl used to her mommy getting her everything she wants. I think you cruise through life without ever thinking about anything and anyone other than yourself. I think you are self-centered to the point where it’s impossible for you to realized how the shit that you are doing is affecting people around you. I think you got this job and everything after it just because your mother is sleeping with Marcus and I don’t think you care.”

“Is that all?” Clarke asked after Lexa stopped talking. “I think you need to take a step back and look at your life, examine the thoughts you are having and realize why you are having them. I’m not the cause of any of your problems,” Clarke said before adding “and maybe you would have gotten everything you think you had to get if you really deserved it. Spend less time talking shit about me and more time doing the work. You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish with a bit of humility.”

“Get out of my office,” Lexa gritted through her teeth.

“Say please.” Clarke lifted her chin a bit higher. Lexa’s eyes fell to Clarke’s lips before snapping back up to her eyes.

“Clarke, I’m warning you.”

“We both know you won’t do anything,” Clarke chuckled. “You are all words and no action,” Clarke licked her lips. “And sometimes you are not even words.” 

“You really are a bitch.”

“Say it again, maybe it helps you get over it.”

“Fuck you. Leave.”

Clarke calmly left Lexa’s office and walked back into hers. She closed her eyes and opened them only after she heard Lexa break something in her office.

She wasn’t able to move long after she heard Lexa leave.

* * *

To say Lexa was furious would be an understatement. She was pacing up and down her office before she stormed out and went to see Anya.

“Stop me from killing her.”

Anya closed her laptop and looked up at distraught Lexa. “I guess we have a winner?” 

“I fucking hate her,” Lexa was walking from one side of Anya’s office to the other. 

“Was it Clarke?”

“No.”

“What’s going on?”

“That girl Ontari was taking it,” Lexa said. “And she fucking loved doing it. She said it was because she didn’t think I was a good person and that I deserved to get something taken from me so I could learn to be better.”

“What?,” Anya frowned.

“She’s lucky I don’t want to get fired or go to jail.”

“Wait, all that because she doesn’t like you?”

“And she wrote those fucking notes because she saw how mad they made me. If she doesn’t stop, I swear to God I will…”

“Calm down. You’ll calm down. That’s the first thing you’ll do.”

“The audacity of that woman.”

“We are still talking about Ontari, right?” 

“Do not say her name, please.”

“Okay, let’s rewind. What happened?”

“I see her take it, I catch her before she gets the chance to leave the kitchen, I drag her into my office and I ask her what the fuck is wrong with her. Then after a couple of minutes Clarke walks in and starts to talk shit like she usually does and ordering me to stop yelling and to calm down and to leave the oh so poor girl alone.” 

“Okay, stop walking.” While Lexa was talking Anya got up from her chair and walked to her friend. She grabbed her hand to make her stop walking in circles. “Calm down.”

“I don’t want to calm down.”

“But you have to.”

“That bitch.”

“First of all don’t call her that, either of them. What Ontari did was inappropriate and rude and overall horrible thing but don’t call her that,” Anya said. “Did she apologize?” 

“She did after Clarke walked in and she turned into a helpless girl that was in need of rescuing because of the angry woman next to her.”

“So Clarke made her apologize?”

“I wouldn’t call it that but yes, she said she is sorry, but I don’t think she is. She’s fucking nuts.”

“Why are you so mad at Clarke?,” Anya asked. 

“She overheard me talk shit about her so she decided it was the best day to lecture me on what is and isn't good.”

“You said some ugly things about her, it probably hurt her feelings.”

“Boo fucking hoo.”

“One could say the same thing about your situation. Boo fucking hoo, you could have solved it that same day if you felt like it was such a problem.”

“So it’s my fault that girl has no concern for personal property of other people.”

“No, Lexa, I never said that. I’m not going to defend her.”

“Yeah, you better not.”

“As for Clarke, don’t talk shit behind other's back or you’ll get burned,” Anya shrugged. “Every day is another lesson,” she said. “Do you know what you’re going to do about Ontari?” 

“I don’t know. Nothing if she stops.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“Kill someone,” Lexa said. “Why does this shit keep happening to me?” 

“At least you’ll have your lunch again,” Anya smiled. “Hopefully.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check this out (if you feel like it) http://ordinarklo.tumblr.com/post/174500272470/to-the-edge-ill-race-you-to-the-end-ill-make


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think some of you will hate this, but I also might be wrong.  
> Anyways hope you enjoy it!
> 
> PS I love how everyone is so passionate about wanting to see Lexa find another job :D

Clarke did a stupid thing. Not right or wrong, just stupid. It took a sleepless night to realize it. It was 5am when she finally gave up on sleeping, after she had spent 6 hours tossing and turning. She got up and opened the window in her bedroom. Clarke closed her eyes and filled her lungs with the cold air. She felt her nose and cheeks turning red. 

She let her emotions win over her reason and acted as if she was five years old on a playground watching someone she didn’t like get beaten. And laughing about it. 

It was the most stupid thing she did since she came back. Not even letting her mother dictate her life wasn’t as stupid. But Lexa was too stubborn and too proud and Clarke got caught up in all of it. Clarke had to do better. Even if Lexa wasn’t ready to meet her in the middle. Even if she never would be.

“I think I’ve done something really stupid yesterday,” Clarke groaned.

Raven almost spilled her tea while laughing. “So I’ve heard,” she nodded.

“What? How?,” Clarke asked. “Oh, Anya. I can only imagine.”

“From what I’ve heard you can be lucky you walked out alive from it.”

“I have to do something about it.”

“About what exactly?” 

“Ontari,” Clarke sighed. “I shouldn’t have gotten on her side. In any way possible. Honestly I just wanted to make Lexa stop yelling before she made a scene in front of everyone.”

“But then your teenager came out.”

“And I stood by one that had been stealing.”

“Stupid, yeah,” Raven said.

“I know, but if she wasn’t as hostile as she was and is then… and for no reason at all.”

“She has  _ a  _ reason.”

“It’s a shitty reason and you know it.”

“I do, but she doesn’t.”

“And she doesn’t care.”

“That still doesn’t make your choice any better.”

“I know it doesn’t.”

“I know. That’s why I said I did a stupid thing.”

“What will you do about it?”

“I don’t know. If I approach Lexa, she’d ignore me in the best case, and start another fight in all the other cases.”

“Do you think you need to do something?” 

“Probably.”

“How bad was the fight with Lexa?”

“Really bad.”

“I know it’s not all sunshine and flowers to be in your shoes but I think you fucked this one up properly if you defended someone who was doing something like that.”

“She keeps saying all those things behind my back and okay yes everyone is allowed to have an opinion, but can’t she do it somewhere where it’s not in my face, beats the whole purpose of talking behind someone’s back if the person can hear you. Makes me think that the only reason she is doing it is to hurt me.”

“I think you both are looking at this whole situation in a wrong way. She’s wrong for talking about you in that or any way while you are within hearing distance, and you are wrong for straight up invalidating her feelings standing behind the person that has wronged her.”

“I know I am, I didn’t mean to do it. I just wanted to stop her from making a scene and it got out of my hands. I fucked up.”

“Then you need to find a way to fix it.”

Clarke knew she had to fix it and she had an idea on how to do it. 

“Can I come in?,” she knocked on Lexa’s door on her way back to her office.

“What do you want?,” Lexa asked without looking up.

Clarke took a moment to take a deep breath before walking in. “Will you file a complaint against Ontari?”

“Why do you care?,” Lexa was still not looking at her.

“You know why.”

“I won’t,” Lexa looked up. “And I’d appreciate if you stayed quiet about it.”

“Why?” 

“I know I don’t have to tell you that.”

“Okay,” Clarke nodded. She turned around and walked out.

Before going to her office, Clarke stopped by Ontari’s cubicle. 

“Ontari,” she said. “Can you please stop by my office around 10?”

“Of course,” Ontari smiled at her.

“Good,” Clarke said. She knew what she had to do.

* * *

“Hi Ontari, thank you for coming. Please take a seat.”

The time that Clarke should have spent sleeping but instead did everything but, she couldn’t stop thinking about Ontari and about Lexa and the kind of person she was going to be. The fight and disagreement that existed between Clarke and Lexa had never stopped them from working together and working good together. Sure Lexa was talking behind her back and it did bother Clarke, but if she hadn’t walked by Anya’s office that one time she probably would never had heard Lexa say anything about her. They’d exist in the hellish limbo Lexa put them in and they would’ve been fine. They were both professional and good at their jobs, they knew how to separate their work-life and private life. Mostly.

The situation between Lexa and Ontari was different. The reasoning behind Ontari’s doing was rooted in not liking Lexa and not being able to separate her private feelings from what was the best for the company and their work environment. Clarke knew Lexa was indispensable, and Ontari was not. 

“Hi,” Ontari said with a smile on her face as if nothing had happened the day before.

“I think you know why I called you in here,” Clarke said.

“I have an idea yes. But I have to say it wasn’t my fault.”

“What wasn’t?,” Clarke frowned.

“Everything that happened.”

Clarke sighed, Ontari wasn’t going to make it any easier for her. “You’ve been here for two months and a couple of days, if I’m right?”

“Ten weeks,” Ontari smiled.

“Do you like it here?,” Clarke leaned on the table.

“Yes, everyone has been nice and welcoming.”

“You haven’t had any problems since you joined us?”

“No.”

“No one made you feel uncomfortable?” 

“No.”

“Good,” Clarke said. “I asked around and it seems like Lexa was the one that helped you the most when you first came here?”

“Yes, but…”

“Has she ever been rude or made you feel bad about anything?”

“No, but…”

“Correct me if I’m wrong. You like it here, everyone welcomed you with open arms and you still go out of your way to make someone’s life miserable?” 

“That’s not all to the story, I…”

“That kind of behavior is unacceptable,” Clarke said.

“I should be able to talk for myself,” Ontari crossed her arms.

“You had that chance yesterday and it didn’t seem like you had anything good to say.”

“But you were on my side.”

“I was mostly trying to stop the argument between you two and in doing so I may have leaned to your side and I was wrong to do it. But I learn from my mistakes and I try to right my wrongs.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means your contract is for a year with an option to terminate after 4 months if you don’t satisfy. Tomorrow we have a meeting with Mr Kane. After that you will know what will happen.”

“I’m getting fired because I messed with someone?,” Ontari scoffed.

“No, but you might get fired because this environment is not suitable for the kind of person who thinks stealing is messing around.”

“Did she put you up to this?”

“Please refrain from such comments,” Clarke said. “You can be lucky I’m the one doing this and not Lexa. If it were me I’d have handled you a long time ago.”

“She recorded me against my will.”

Clarke flinched. She didn’t know Lexa had apparently put a camera in the kitchen without permission. “When you signed your contract you also agreed to being recorded with surveillance cameras.”

“She didn’t do that.”

“Who told you that?” 

“I know that.”

“As far as you are concerned that camera was put up there because Mr Kane said so.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Ontari, that is not the type of conversation you want to be having with me right now,” Clarke lifted her brow. “You can leave now, but tomorrow morning, at 9 you have to be at Mr Kane’s office.” Ontari got up without a word. “Please close the door when you leave,” Clarke said.

* * *

After lunch Clarke went upstairs hoping she’d catch Marcus in his office.

“Is he in?,” she asked his assistant in front of his office.

“He is,” she smiled at Clarke. “He has next hour free.”

“Great,” Clarke said and knocked on Marcus’ door before walking in. “Hi,” she said after she closed the door. He was sitting behind his desk, finishing his lunch. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you, I can come later.”

“No, no, Clarke, it’s okay, I’m done anyway,” he got up and threw the empty container in the trash. “What can I do for you? I doubt this is just a friendly visit. Should I be scared?,” he smiled.

“We have to talk about something.” 

“So I should be scared,” he sat in the chair next to Clarke.

“You don’t, don’t worry,” Clarke said.

“Okay, what is is?,” he asked.

“It’s about the girl you hired a couple of months ago, Ontari.”

“Yes, Nia recommended her.”

“I don’t think we should leave her here for the entire year. I think it’s best if we terminate her contract after 4 months pass.”

“What happened?,” his face changed, from smile to a confused frown. “I don’t think we’ve ever done that.”

“She’s not the kind of person I would like to have work alongside me.”

“What did she do?”

Clarke bit her lip, she could go behind Lexa’s back or she could go around it. “It’s a character thing.”

“You want to fire her because of a character thing?”

Clarke sighed. “Something has happened but it’s not serious enough for me to go behind the back of the people involved. It wasn’t word related, it was more on the personal level,” Clarke said. “But she, in no good way, complements the environment we created and I honestly think it’s for the best if we… fire her.”

“Last I heard she was good at her job I can’t…”

“There are others who are just as good at it. I don’t see how it would be hard to find a replacement.”

“And start from zero…”

“I’m sorry for interrupting you constantly but nothing you say could change my stance on this,” Clarke said. “I don’t want to work with her. And I know more than one other person that feels the same.”

Marcus was silent for a long time but when he finally spoke he agreed with her. “Okay, if that’s what you think is for the best. I put you there for a reason, there’s no way to not trust you. That would be a bigger problem than terminating someone’s contract.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said. 

“Is that all?,” he asked.

“One more thing.”

“I’m starting to feel happy that you never visit me.”

“Be careful what you wish for,” Clarke chuckled. “It’s about Lexa.”

“Something’s wrong?” 

“It might become that,” Clarke rubbed her temples. “I don’t know how to say this without making it sound worse than it is right now.”

“Now you have me scared.”

“I feel very out of place saying this, but I know how much you value her and how important she is to you.”

“Is she thinking about leaving?,” Marcus asked before Clarke could say it.

“I don’t know if she’s at that point but I don’t think it will be long before she gets there.”

“I knew she was disappointed…”

“I’m sorry but that’s not my conversation to have. I just wanted to warn you,” Clarke got up. “You should probably do something about it if you don’t want it to happen.”

“Thank you Clarke.”

“Oh, I arranged for Ontari to come up here tomorrow at 9. Is that okay with you or do I need to reschedule it?” 

“That’s alright. Thank you.”

“I better get going now.”

“Don’t forget about the party at Friday.”

“And what if I do?,” she asked.

“Bring me some good news next time.”

“I’ll try,” Clarke chuckled.

* * *

“Morning Ms Woods.”

“Mor…,” Lexa stopped and frowned. “Since when are we back to that?,” she asked Gustus.

“You look angrier than yesterday and yesterday you just walked by me, better safe than sorry,” he shrugged with a hint of a smile on his face.

“I’m so sorry,” Lexa dragged her hand through her hair. “I’ve been distracted.”

“And angry,” he said. “Who got you so angry?”

“People,” Lexa sighed. “Life.”

“There are rumors going around.”

“What kind of rumors?,” she frowned.

“About you leaving.”

“Who told you that?” 

“I overheard it, in the cafeteria.” 

“When?” 

“Yesterday and the day before,” he said. “Are you?”

“Not that I know.”

“Then it’s just rumors,” he smiled. “You know how rumors can be.”

“Rumory.”

“You’ve beaten Ms Griffin today, she’s not here yet.”

Lexa sighed. “See you later Gustus.”

Were they talking about her leaving because they knew something or because they didn’t know anything. Leaving had been in the back of Lexa’s mind for quite some time. But it was always in the back, not even in the worst of times did she really think about it. Maybe she should have. 

First thing she saw when she turned on her computer was an email from Marcus, asking her if she could come by his office around 9:30 that morning. Maybe those who were talking were doing it because they knew something and Lexa didn’t know anything.

Maybe it had something to do with Clarke asking her about complaints the day before. Maybe Ontari filed one against her. Maybe Clarke cared even less than Lexa thought.

As the time went on and 9:30 was becoming an inevitable reality, Lexa’s nerves were starting to win over her. She got up and went to the kitchen for a glass of water or to just walk and take at least that small part of her brain off of the meeting that was soon to happen.

Clarke was in the kitchen when Lexa got there. She was eating something. She frowned when she looked at Lexa. 

“Are you okay?,” not even a minute later Clarke asked her.

“Yes,” Lexa emptied her second glass of water.

“You don’t look okay, are you sure you are?”

“Please leave me alone.”

“Do you want me to go get someone else? Anya?” Clarke looked worried. That was the first time Lexa saw her like that. 

“I’m fine. I just need peace and quiet.”

“Okay,” Clarke said.

Lexa filled her glass with water and went back to her office. She spent the next half an hour doing nothing but breathing.

“Is he in?,” Lexa asked Marcus’ assistant. It was 9:31.

“He has a meeting, he should be done in a couple of minutes. You can wait or I can call you when he’s finished?”

“I’ll wait,” Lexa leaned on the wall opposite Marcus’ office.

Not even a minute later, door opened and Lexa’s heart sunk to her feet. She saw Ontari saying goodbye to Marcus. Maybe she should have filed that complaint.

“Lexa,” he smiled when he saw her. “I’m sorry you had to wait, come in,” he said opening the door wider for her. 

“Thank you,” Lexa smiled back.

“Please take a seat.” Marcus sat behind his desk. “It’s been a while since you and I talked like this.”

“I like to think there was no need for that,” Lexa said.

“Of course, but I think it’s always good to check in every once in a while. Especially considering the situation when we last talked like this,” he smiled softly. “How have you been?”

“Good,” Lexa smiled. “Busy,” she added.

“Busy is good.”

“Busy is always good,” she said.

“How do you like working alongside Clarke?”

Lexa frowned, she realized she wasn’t going to get fired, the conversation would have gone in a different direction if that was what it was about. “Clarke is great at what she does,” Lexa decided to answer diplomatic. She didn’t want to lie.

“I know she is, but how do you like working with her?”

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping but what does that have to do with anything?”

“You are spending more than 12 hours a day in average together, I think it’s somewhat, if not a lot, important to like working with each other.”

“I don’t hate it.”

“That bad, hm?,” Marcus shook his head. “This is not an attack, I just want to emphasize that, it’s far from it really, complete opposite.” He looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it.

“You can be direct,” Lexa said. “Please be.”

“I know this wasn’t what you had in mind when you thought about your future. I made a decision and you probably think you were on the losing end of it, but I don’t see it like that.”

“It’s hard to not see it like that.”

“I understand that,” he sighed. “You’ve done so much for me and the company in such a short time and I can imagine what your thoughts are now and have been about me choosing Clarke.”

“That was your decision to make,” Lexa quickly said.

“And I’d do the same thing again if I could, I know that probably doesn’t sound nice, but it’s not because you are not good, you are great, it’s because Clarke has more experience and it took a lot of persuasion to make her say yes.” Lexa frowned. “Yes, whatever you might think, it wasn’t easy. But she’s here and I have big plans for her and you and this company.”, he said. “I also know that you probably have ten better offers on the table and that you can take them whenever you want,” he paused before adding, “I hope it will never come to that. You are one of two or three people that are irreplaceable here,” he sighed. “I’d really hate to see you leave but I’d hate more to know that you stayed somewhere where you don’t feel good, where you don’t feel happy.” Marcus shook his head, “I started to ramble,” he smiled. “What I want to ask you is this, do you want to leave?”

Lexa didn’t know what to say, she didn’t expect that question and she didn’t have an answer. “I don’t. Currently.”

Marcus nodded. “I can’t promise you’ll get what you want in the next six months, or a year. I realized I shouldn’t make promises like that,” he said. “But I promise you will get it, and much more.”

“I should just be patient?,” Lexa chuckled.

“I asked that last time, I won’t again, I know better now. I just ask you for a bit of faith.”

“I’m not actively thinking about leaving.”

“Okay.”

“That doesn’t mean I won’t be.”

“I know. And that’s alright.”

“Okay.”

“We good?,” he smiled.

“We are,” Lexa smiled back. 

“Then I hope you are looking forward to our trip on Sunday, and even more to the party on Friday.” Lexa sighed and he started to laugh. “You know I expect to see you there?,” he said.

“Do you have doubts about me doing my job?,” Lexa smiled.

“Never.”

“Then I am looking forward to both the trip and the party,” Lexa said. “Is that all?,” she asked.

“Yes,” Marcus said prompting Lexa to get up. “Oh, one more thing, since you’re here I might as well tell you and you can tell everyone else. Ontari will be leaving us after her 4 months have passed.”

“What? Why?,” Lexa asked, shocked.

“Clarke’s recommendation,” he said. “Apparently she’s not suitable for our work environment.”

Lexa frowned. She hoped Clarke did not tell him about what happened with Ontari after Lexa specifically told her not to. “What does that mean?”

“From what I gather it’s not comfortable for the people around her to work with her.”

“That’s good enough reason?,” Lexa asked.

“If she doesn’t fit in then yes, it’s better to be without her than with her.”

Clarke didn’t tell. “I understand,” Lexa smiled. “I should get going now.”

“Lexa, one thing,” he called after her. “If you start to actively think about it, please tell me.”

“I can do that.”

“Good, thanks,” Marcus said.

“Bye.” Lexa closed the door and closed her eyes. Her life had just got a bit more complicated. 

* * *

“You have to promise me you will not get lost in your office or in the bathroom like at all those college parties.”

“It wasn’t always.”

“Clarke promise me that you will try to have fun.”

“I hate it.”

“Cry me a river,” Raven scoffed. “You have to party like you work.”

“Like you’d notice,” Clarke chuckled. “I give you an hour at most before you get lost with Anya.”

“Even if I do, I’ll still have my eyes on you,” Raven said. “You have to stop and relax, even if just for a couple of hours.”

“I can try.”

“You are a doer, not tryer.”

“Okay Raven, I’m a doer,” Clarke gave in to her friend. Truth was if she wasn’t going to work, she’d rather spend the day and night at home, in front of TV or sleeping, she wouldn’t mingle and smile and suffer through all the hours that she had to at the party. She wanted to avoid it but Marcus wouldn’t have it.

She looked around and saw some of the people already hitting the hard liquor even though it was only 5 pm. 

“Finally,” Raven said. “There she is.” Anya was there and Lexa next to her. “Took you long enough.”

“Trust me it’s not my fault,” Anya side-eyed Lexa.

“Oh, do we have another one that’s ecstatic to be here?” 

“Over the moon,” Anya said. Lexa kept quiet. She avoided Clarke’s eyes and looked around the room. She looked nervous. “Can I steal you for a minute?,” Anya turned her attention to Raven.

“Already?,” Clarke glared at her.

“Shhh Clarke,” Raven said. “Don’t forget what you promised.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too.”

After Anya and Raven disappeared somewhere in the crowd, Lexa awkwardly turned around and scooted to stand next to Clarke. 

“Do you want something to drink?,” Clarke heard her say.

“Are you asking me?,” she frowned. 

“You’re the only one here,” Lexa glanced at her. “Aren’t you?,” she raised her brow questioningly.

“I’m just surprised,” Clarke said. “It’s too early for me.”

“Too early for water?” Clarke looked at her and frowned. “I’m kidding,” Lexa said.

“Oh,” Clarke continued. “I’m good, thank you,” she smiled.

Lexa nodded and turned away from Clarke again. It was awkward and tiny bit uncomfortable to just stand there without saying a word. Lexa must have felt the same way because every couple of seconds she’d shift in her place.

“I hate these things,” Clarke said after a couple of minutes.

“Me too.”

“I wouldn’t even be here if Marcus hadn’t asked me.”

Lexa chuckled, “I know how you feel.”

“I just don’t get what’s the point of this.”

“Group therapy.”

“Free booze.”

“There’s something thrilling about getting drunk where you are not supposed to.”

“Have you?,” Clarke lifted her brow.

“What?”

“Got drunk at where you’re not supposed to.”

Lexa smiled. She looked at the crowd in front of them. “Maybe.”

“Lexa Woods drunk at work? That’s something I never thought I’d say,” Clarke laughed.

“It was after hours,” Lexa said.

“Oh, that makes so much more sense.”

“You’re lucky I’m in the good mood,” Lexa tried to hide her smile. 

Clarke couldn’t crack it. Lexa was treating her like she was just another person and not the person responsible for everything bad that’s happening in the world. It all started a couple of days ago, day after she arranged with Marcus to fire Ontari. It was in the details. The way Lexa stopped leaving the room when Clarke walked in, the way she nodded when they walked by each other and the way she tried when they were alone. First couple of encounters felt out of place, like Lexa was forcing herself to talk to Clarke without looking through her. They never talked about the thing that happened between them in Lexa’s office, or about Ontari. It wasn’t much and it was far from friendly but it was improvement nonetheless. 

“You two look like teachers watching over kids at some dance.”

“And what are you doing here?,” Clarke crossed her arms and grinned.

“Friend of the family, Ms Griffin,” Gustus smiled widely.

“I beg you,” she giggled.

“Clarke,” he smiled at her, “and Lexa, you two look like you are having the time of your lives.”

“That’s because we are,” Lexa said.

“Does this mean those were just rumors?,” he asked.

“Don’t you think you’d be one of the first to know if they weren’t?”

Clarke was a bit lost listening to their conversation.

“Clarke, what do you think about those rumors?,” Gustus asked her.

“I can’t say I know what you’re talking about.”

“It’s nothing,” Lexa jumped in. “People will talk shit whenever they can. It’s nothing really,” Lexa repeated.

“Anyway, I just came to say hi, I’ll leave to continue to overlook the children,” he said. “See you next week.”

“Is someone saying something about you?,” Clarke turned to face Lexa.

“It’s really nothing,” Lexa dismissed it.

“I’m gonna go out for a smoke,” Clarke said and regretted saying it immediately. Why would Lexa want to know that.

“Okay.”

Clarke was grateful that the balcony was practically empty. It was cold and people were still not drunk enough to go outside. Clarke ran away because she needed to breathe, to hide from participating. It was starting to get too loud, both on her inside and outside. 

“I thought you were going to smoke?.” Clarke turned around when she heard Lexa’s voice.

“You said it’s a bad habit,” Clarke smiled. She turned back to look down at the street lights starting to turn on. “I’m not a big fan of crowds.”

“Do you wanna hear a rumor?,” Lexa stood next to her and looked at the sky.

“Is it good?,” Clarke turned her head. Dim lightning made Lexa look softer than usually.

“Apparently I’m leaving,” Lexa lowered her head. Clarke saw a smile in the making. “Because I got in the fight with you.”

“Really?” 

“That’s what people think.”

“Wait, is it because you won or lost the fight?”

“Because I allowed you to beat me.”

Clarke started to laugh and Lexa followed. “Who is saying that?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa shook her head. “I just know the rumor.”

“So wait, that’s what Gustus was asking you earlier. If you’re leaving.”

“Yes.”

“And you’re not?” 

“Wouldn’t you like that,” Lexa smirked.

“I actually wouldn’t,” Clarke chuckled. “Life is not fun when everyone loves you.”

Lexa leaned on the balcony ledge and looked at the city in front of her. And Clarke looked at her. Lexa really was trying, Clarke had to give her that. It was far from perfect and even further from Lexa liking it. At first it wasn’t that obvious. But then Clarke realized that the awkwardness and uncomfortableness wasn’t because Lexa was trying, it was because she was trying to be nicer to Clarke.

“I know it was you with Ontari,” Lexa said after a while. 

“It was the right thing to do.”

“Thank you,” Lexa said after a while. “For doing it and not saying anything to Marcus.”

“It was for the best. And you asked me not to say anything.” Clarke had to look away when Lexa turned her head towards her.

“I did, but you could’ve ignored it.”

“We would get along so much better if you just gave me the benefit of the doubt.”

“I’m sorry about that… about saying all those things, it was unprofessional at best,” Lexa sighed.

“At best,,” Clarke chuckled. “But I’m sorry for throwing it all into your face then. I kinda made the whole thing about me,” Clarke bit her lip. “That was fucking stupid of me.”

“I plead the fifth,” Lexa raised her hands in the air.

Clarke giggled. “Smart move.”

“Are you excited about the trip?,” Lexa asked.

“Almost as much as about this party.”

“C’mon now, the trip will be much more fun than this.”

“Oh yeah?,” Clarke tilted her head questioningly.

“A bunch of old men getting drunk and making fools of themselves,” Lexa grinned, “when has that been not fun?”

Clarke chuckled. “I take it it’s not your first dance?”

“I’m basically a pro.”

“You can guide me through it then,” Clarke smiled.

“I can…”

“Oh good, they are both alive,” Anya said behind them. “Fuck it’s so cold. What are you two lunatics doing here?” 

“What are you doing here?,” Lexa asked. “I thought you left.” Clarke noticed Lexa relax once she saw Anya. Her eyes stopped jumping from the sky to the street to Clarke’s face. They were fixed to something familiar. Anya. 

“It was temporary.”

“I don’t wanna know,” Lexa quickly said.

“Where’s Raven?,” Clarke asked.

“Looking for you,” Anya was hopping from one feet to the other. “Can we go inside please?” 

“Let’s.” Clarke watched Lexa walk away and to the door. “Are you coming?,” she turned around and asked.

“I am,” Clarke smiled. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Business side of this is just me winging it.
> 
> Also, I love the enthusiasm, keep it up :D

Lexa was early at the airport, much earlier than it was necessary, but she wasn’t the first one to get there. Clarke beat her to it. She saw her sitting at the coffee shop, looking down at her phone. Lexa thought about sneaking past her but then she realized that after everything that had happened, the least she could do is try. 

“Hi,” Lexa startled Clarke who seemed to be deep into reading something off of her phone. She looked up frowning but then smiled softly when she saw it was Lexa. “Are you always this early to everything?”

Clarke sighed. “I couldn’t sleep,” she looked around, “and if I’m being honest I’m not really a big fan of flying so it’s a way of coping with that.”

Lexa frowned. “Why didn’t you say it, we could’ve drove there.”

“It’s not my first rodeo,” Clarke smiled. “I’ll be fine,” she said. “Do you wanna sit with me?,” she looked at the chair opposite hers.

“Sure,” Lexa said, “I’ll just go get my coffee.”

Lexa went to order coffee. So far it wasn’t that bad. When she got back, Clarke’s phone was out of her hands. “So why are are you early?,” Clarke asked her once she sat down.

“So I’m not late.”

“Makes sense,” Clarke chuckled. “Are you excited or do you hate it?” 

“Being early?”

“The trip.”

“It’s not my first rodeo,” Lexa smiled.

“It is my though, at least from this side of things,” Clarke said. “Was it just you and Marcus usually or?,” she asked.

“And Anya.”

“Ouch, so you already hate this one.”

“What do you mean?”

“Anya is not here and I am.”

Lexa shook her head disapprovingly. “For the last time, I don’t hate you Clarke.”

“Spoiled little girl, if I recall,” Clarke smiled.

“I apologized for that,” Lexa said.

“But never denied it.”

“Am I a vain bitch then?,” Lexa lifted her brows.

“Maybe, but just a bit,” Clarke bit her lip to hide the smile. Lexa knew the thing they were doing was partly meaningless, partly a necessity, but it was light and fun and something she never imagined she’d do with Clarke. 

“I won’t deny it, I worked hard to get to be called that,” Lexa smiled.

“But I am sorry,” Clarke paused, “for that and for everything else I said that day. I don’t know what got into me.”

“It’s in the past,” Lexa assured her. “Didn’t you come here from Asia?,” Lexa tried to keep the conversation going, last thing she wanted was to sit there in silence with Clarke for the next two hours. She could’ve done that alone and in a lot less stressful environment. 

“Yes, why do you ask?” 

“It’s a long plane ride.”

“Oh, that,” Clarke smiled. “It is yes, if I survived that one, twice, I’ll manage with this one.”

“I have a friend scared of heights, she takes her car everywhere. I don’t think she ever took a plane.”

“I used to do that but then I couldn’t anymore. And it’s different when you have a problem with heights, mine is with just planes.” 

Lexa noticed Clarke started to shift in her chair, it was obviously a very uncomfortable and unpleasant topic for her to talk about. “I just asked, I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“It’s alright, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Clarke said. “It’s just that my dad died on one, it’s not… I don’t like them.”

Lexa wanted to slap herself for being noisy for no reason at all. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude, I’m sorry about that too.”

“It’s fine really, long time ago,” Clarke smiled before quickly looking away. 

“I think there’s more chance to die in your office then up there,” Lexa mumbled out. If not talking was one of the last things she wanted then having Clarke’s dead father between them was the last thing Lexa wanted.

“Especially in my office,” Clarke chuckled.

“I’d never do it, it’s too messy,” Lexa ran along with it.

“That’s a lie, I’m sure you have a hundred and one way to kill me, or anyone else for that matter, all planned out in you mind, messy or not.”

“And you don’t?,” Lexa raised her brow before adding, “you don’t get that feisty without a backup plan.”

“Are you calling me feisty?”

“I like to call things by their name.”

“Then you’re lucky I’m too tired to be feisty now.”

“There’ll be plenty of time, fours days is a lot.”

“Are you okay?,” Lexa saw Clarke gripping the armchair when they boarded the plane and sat in their seats.

“I will be,” Clarke said.

“Counting down from hundred helps me when I’m anxious about something,” Lexa realized she was starting to say complete nonsense. “But that probably won’t make any difference to you. I’m sorry.”

“Relax Lexa,” Clarke chuckled. “You’ll end up being more stressed than me.”

“That’s one thing I excel at.”

“I’ve never seen you stressed.”

“I also excel at hiding it.” Lexa noticed Clarke’s grip start to loosen.

“Is there something you don’t excel at?” 

“I’m really bad at cooking.” Lexa’s confession made Clarke laugh out loud. “What’s so funny about that?” 

“You are bad at something as simple as cooking?”

“It’s not simple.”

“It’s following instructions.”

“And I’m really bad at that.”

The plane was about to take off and Clarke closed her eyes. “Thank you for doing this,” she whispered to Lexa.

“Any time,” Lexa smiled softly.

After they checked in the hotel, and Marcus wished them a good night and an even better day tomorrow, Clarke and Lexa went to their rooms. Their rooms were next to each other’s and Marcus’ was a floor above them.

Lexa spent the first half an hour unpacking. She never liked living out of a suitcase, even if it was just for a couple of nights. After she stacked the closet with her clothes she laid down on the bed. The day wasn’t as half as bad as she thought it would be. It turns out that spending time with Clarke was not bad at all. It wasn’t the time of her life but it was nice and fun and she never felt uncomfortable or awkward.

She decided to go down at the restaurant to eat. She found Clarke waiting for the elevator. 

“Hi,” Clarke said.

“Going out?,” small talk was one of the things Lexa had never mastered. 

“Just downstairs. I’m hungry.” 

“Me too,” Lexa said. Clarke didn’t seem as smiley as earlier that day. Maybe she was just tired but judging by the time she spent staring at her phone, something else was bothering her.

They got into the elevator without talking and they rode it down without talking. 

“Do you wanna join me?,” Clarke asked right before they walked into the restaurant. “I could use some company,” Clarke said. “But you don’t have to, it’s totally fine, I understand, you’ve spent half a day with me, you must be tired,” Clarke spat out the words as if they were suffocating her.

“We can eat together yes,” Lexa replied smiling.

“Okay, good,” Clarke said. They found an empty table and sat, they ordered the food and Clarke took her phone out. She spent some time typing and then put it away in her pocket. “I’m sorry, I promise I won’t be on my phone,” she sighed. “It’s my mom, she always finds a way to get on my nerves.”

“I like your mom,” Lexa leaned back.

“Because you see her once every six months.”

“Who says you can’t do the same thing?”

“She’d pronounce me the devil and proceed to make my life as miserable as she could,” Clarke huffed, “this way I have control over how miserable she can make it.”

“She’s your mother, that’s her job,” Lexa smiled.

“Is it really?,” Clarke lifted her brow.

“If you want it bad enough, you can make everything happen.”

“I never imagined you as the secret person,” Clarke laughed. “Besides, you should be having a beef with my mom, not me, she’s one of the reasons I’m sitting here with you today,” Clarke said. Lexa noticed her expression turn from smiley to anxious.

“What does that mean?” 

“She practically forced this on me,” Clarke sighed.

Lexa frowned, she still couldn’t understand what Clarke was trying to tell her. “You’ll have to explain it a bit better.”

“I was in Japan for a couple of years before coming back, as you know. I was CFO at this startup working with AI and it was great, I loved every second if it,” Clarke said. “But after a while I got tired of it, I missed my family and friends, I’ve had enough of lonely nights on the other side of the world, away from everyone that meant something to me and I decided to come back,” Clarke continued. “My plan was to take a break, I haven’t done that since high school, do nothing, just live. And then get into calmer waters, like these where we are now. But my mom had other plans,” Lexa was listening quietly to what Clarke was saying. “When I told her I was coming back she made sure to fill Marcus’ head with a bunch of nonsense how this is what I want and my dream job and that I’d be so happy to do it and that I’m in if he is.”

“Wait,” Lexa had to stop her. “You are doing this because you don’t know how to say no to your mother?” 

“She’s not someone you can just say no to,” Clarke said.

“That’s hard to believe. All this time I’ve been…,” Lexa stopped herself from saying anything else.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Clarke sighed. “Marcus also practically begged. He said it was a turning point and that the next year was going to make him or break him. He told me he needed someone with more experience on the business side of the things and that I should do it for a couple of months and then leave if I didn’t like it,” Clarke said. “It was and is something I planned to eventually do, just not this soon. I would have never said yes if I knew there was someone who was going to be passed up because of me.”

Lexa shook her head, all this time she had been silently barking up the wrong tree. It was Marcus who was to blame, Marcus who made promises, Marcus who lied, Marcus who put them both in the situation they were in. “He told me you had more experience,” she said, “but it turns out you really don’t.” Clarke was twisting the ring on her thumb and avoiding Lexa’s eyes. “That came out wrong.” Clarke looked up. “And thank you for telling me all this, you didn’t have to and it took a lot of guts.”

“I just wanted you to know the full story and have a healthier relationship with me, or one where you’re not constantly angry,” Clarke said. “Or you can be but at least now you’ll have the real reason and not just…”

“Thank you,” Lexa interrupted Clarke’s rambling.

Clarke nodded. They were half way through with the meal when Clarke said, “I have to ask you something, but you have to promise you won’t get mad at me.”

“If all the stuff before didn’t make me mad then nothing will,” Lexa laughed.

“You were a bit mad,” Clarke chuckled.

“Tiniest,” Lexa smiled. “But go on, ask.”

“Why are you blindly trusting Marcus and waiting for something when you could be getting that and much more literally anywhere in the world?”

“I don’t care about the money.”

“I’m not talking about just money.”

“Marcus gave me a chance when no one else would,” Lexa sighed. “He entrusted me with everything when everyone closed the door and I can’t just leave, even though the more I think about it the more I realize how stupid I must seem and be. But I feel like I owe him something, time if nothing else.”

“I don’t think you owe him anything, everything you have you earned, just because he said yes once upon a time does not mean you are in his debt for eternity,” Clarke said. “But that’s just what I think.”

“It won’t be eternity.”

“I’m probably way out of line here, I’m sorry,” Clarke said after a couple of seconds.

“It’s okay, really, gives me a different perspective on things,” Lexa smiled. “But you do talk an awful lot about me leaving, are you trying to tell me something?”

“Yes, that you leaving would be the worst thing to happen.”

“Really?” 

“Everyone loves working with you, you make them feel at ease and calm and people love you, not just those working with you but everyone who makes any kind of contact with you. That’s something immeasurable and… I told him to make you happier but it doesn’t look like he did what he was supposed to.” 

It was the first time Lexa heard Clarke, or anyone else, talk about her in that way. Even though she’d never admit it, but it made her heart glow.

“Thank you,” Lexa smiled. “And you are also…”

“No, that wasn’t an invitation, just facts. Learn to take compliments, I noticed that you don’t do so well in that area,” Clarke said.

They spent the rest of the dinner talking about food, books, movies and Clarke’s time in Japan. Lexa had more fun in those couple of hours than in the longest she could remember.

“I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you,” Lexa said right before Clarke was to disappear in her room.

“Maybe I deserved it,” she laughed.

“Maybe not.”

“Goodnight Lexa,” Clarke smiled.

“Night Clarke.”

That night was so much more than Lexa thought it would be. Never in a million years she would have thought that time would fly by so fast while she was with Clarke. Or that she would laugh as much. Or that she would try as hard. 

While she was lying in bed, much later that same night, Lexa couldn’t help but think what would have been of Clarke and her if they started the things in a different way. 

* * *

It was a three day tech startup conference in DC. Marcus was there fishing for new clients and he brought Lexa and Clarke with him to help.

It was Clarke’s first time doing something like that. In her previous job she was behind the scenes and walking into the room that morning, seeing all those people lined up and even more people trying to sell themselves, made her a bit anxious. 

She was lucky to have Lexa next to her. Marcus disappeared somewhere as soon as they got to the venue and Lexa was the only thing she had to hold on to. And Lexa was amazing. 

She cruised through the crowd and everyone seemed to know who she was. 

“I hate these things,” Lexa whispered. They were in the back of the room listening to some big shot CEOs talk. “Half of those guys up there have no idea what they’re talking about.”

“How do you know?,” Clarke frowned.

“How did you know those guys from Australia where faking it?”

“Because I know them.”

“And I know these guys,” Lexa said. “And they are so full of shit. Let’s go eat something,” Lexa pulled Clarke’s hand and dragged her out of the room. “This is much better,” Lexa said when they were out.

“So wait, you know everyone here?,” Clarke asked.

“I just did my homework, like you,” Lexa smiled.

“But you seem to really know a lot people.”   
“A bit of niceness can get you far.”

“I’ll be sure to write that down.”

“Is that sarcasm in your voice I hear?”

“Never.”

They got sandwiches from the place across the venue and sat in the nearby park to eat them.

“How realistic is that we are going to find someone suitable here?”

“That depends on what you mean by realistic,” Lexa wiped the ketchup from her mouth. “I have someone in mind who I think would be amazing, but I don’t know how willing they are. Most of the people here are trying to sell nothing and make a fortune out of it.”

“That’s a bit harsh.”

“I disagree,” Lexa chuckled.

“You love to disagree with me,” Clarke smirked.

“Only when you’re wrong.”

“If you judge it by how many times you disagreed with me just today then you’d get the impression I’m always wrong.”

“Your words Clarke.”

“Shut up.” Clarke was starting to understand why everyone loved Lexa so much. “You have something...on your mouth,” Clarke put her finger over the corner of her own lips to show Lexa where to wipe.

“The other side silly,” Clarke giggled.

“Thank you,” Lexa wiped the sauce of her mouth. Lexa’s cheeks were a different shade of pink than the moment before. Clarke blamed it on the sun. “We should probably get back,” Lexa said. “I wanna find Becca.”

“You keep talking about them but I’ve yet to see any sign of them.”

“Patience Clarke, patience,” Lexa smiled.

Becca was a founder of a small startup, A.L.I.E, and she caught Lexa’s eye a couple of months back. Their main focus was building a virtual reality world, simulation of sorts, and their idea was to offer an immersive experience where you’d chose to be whoever you want in the world you built for yourself. You’d be able to share it with the people you know, those you don’t or with no one at all. They had everything except manpower and a clearer vision of how to do what they wanted to do. 

“Hi,” after spending half of the morning trying to find them, they finally did it after lunch break. “My name is Lexa Woods and this is Clarke Griffin,” Lexa introduced them to a dark haired woman, “we are from Arkadia…”

“I know who you are,” the woman smiled.

“Good word travels far then,” Lexa smiled back at her. “A.L.I.E is something out of this world…”

“I know,” Becca said. Clarke noticed she was alone there. “And I’m not interested.”

“Why?” 

“Because I can do it on my own.”

Becca was not willing to even talk with them. Clarke glanced at Lexa. She seemed unaffected by the way Becca was talking back to her. She had a smile on her face and nothing but confidence in her eyes. 

“Why are you here then?,” Lexa asked.

“What do you mean?,” the other woman sounded confused. Clarke had trouble turning her eyes away from Lexa. There was a spark. Clarke felt it deep in the pit of her stomach. She caught a glimpse of Lexa’s eyes and quickly looked away.

“Why are you here if you can do it on your own? The point of all this is to get exposure, partners, investors.”

“You are none of that.”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t be.”

“I’m not interested in selling part of my company…”

“It’s not selling,” Lexa said. “You don’t have enough people or the ability to reach the vast amount of people. That is something we can help you with.” This time Becca was quiet. “I believe what you’ve done so far and what you envisioned to do is beyond great. And I think we can help you reach the stars,” Lexa paused. “You’ve built it from nothing, imagine what you could do with the resources we can provide.”

Clarke never saw or heard someone be as effortlessly efficient with her words and stance as Lexa was in that moment. It looked like nothing and no one could possibly come near her, let alone beat her at it.

“I…”

“We don’t expect you to make such a decision on the spot, far from it. There’s plenty of other opportunities here. Look around and I hope we’ll be the ones you’ll find,” Lexa smiled. “I’m really glad we met and I hope this won’t be the last time we see each other.” Lexa pinched Clarke’s side to get her attention and turned away. She started to walk away and Clarke followed.

“Why did we leave? You had her…” Clarke said once they were far enough from Becca’s booth.

“She needs to think she was the one who thought of it.”

Clarke smiled. “But that was impressive.”

“I know,” Lexa smirked.

Clarke averted her eyes from Lexa, she looked around trying to not ignite the fire that was about to eat her alive. “What now?” 

Lexa looked at her phone. “This goes on for another hour and Marcus says he’s headed to the hotel and then out for dinner,” Lexa put her phone away. “We can mingle around for a while, or we can leave. I don’t think there’s much going on right now.”

“Let me buy you dinner then,” Clarke bit her lip. “My way of saying good job and thanks for teaching me a lot.”

“Okay, I can allow that.”

“Thank you so much.”

* * *

When the next day Lexa opened her eyes it was already past 7 am and the first thought on her mind was Clarke. She still hadn’t took time to go through everything that happened or what Clarke told her on the day of the trip. All this time Lexa spent hating and blaming the wrong person. Clarke wasn’t completely innocent in all of it but she was the only one of every involved that came clean about it and did something to make Lexa feel better about the whole situation. What Lexa also still hadn’t had time to think about was all the time she spent with Clarke. And those were a bit scarrier thoughts.

She got out of the bed and opened the doors that led to a small balcony. 

“Morning.” A couple of feet and a room away Clarke was sitting.

“Morning,” Lexa inadvertently smiled. “You should really quit.”

“I tried,” Clarke laughed and put out the cigarette. “More than once.”

“Are you telling me Clarke Griffin that you are one of those weak people?” 

“Will you think lesser of me if I am, Lexa Woods?,” Clarke leaned on the wall. She was in black shorts and white tank top. Lexa tried to focus on her face.

“Maybe.”

“And we were off to such a great restart,” Clarke smiled. Lexa was focused on Clarke’s face. And her arms. And maybe legs. “Will today be as fun as yesterday was?,” Clarke made her look back up to her face.

“No day is like the one before.”

Clarke laughed. “It’s too early for that.”

“Breakfast of coffee?”

“Both,” Clarke straightened her back. “Wanna join me?”

“If you want,” Lexa said.

“What do you want Lexa?,” Clarke lifted her brow. Lexa slowly blinked but didn’t say anything. “I’ll take a note that shorts and tank tops leave you speechless,” Clarke smirked. “Meet me outside in 15?”

“Okay,” Lexa said.

In less than fifteen minutes Lexa got out of her room and Clarke was waiting for her in front of her own. 

“Do skirts have the same effect?,” Clarke smiled smugly.

“I…,” Lexa lowered her eyes down to Clarke’s dirty white button down and knee high black skirt. She cursed herself for not looking up fast enough. 

“Relax. If I had to choose between this and mean looks I pick this every day,” Clarke smiled.

“I’m sorry, I don’t usually… it’s not my…,” Lexa wanted to apologized but she had a hard time trying to find the right words and at the same time not lie. 

“I’d be more offended if you didn’t look,” Clarke said, “the amusing thing is how bad you are at hiding it,” Clarke smiled.

“Let’s go find some coffee,” Lexa shook her head. 

They found Marcus in the bar downstairs and even though he was the last person Lexa wanted to see that morning, she had never been more happy to see him.

“Good morning ladies,” he greeted them.

“Morning.”

The two of them ordered coffee and sat next to Marcus.

“So, any luck yesterday?,” he asked looking at Lexa.

“A lot of empty promises,” Lexa said.

“As expected,” he agreed.

“We did get a chance to talk to talk with Becca. Hopefully something comes out of it.”

Marcus nodded. “What about you Clarke?”

“I’ve talked to some people but as Lexa said it’s not really promising and I spent most of the time shadowing this one,” she tilted her head to Lexa, “she really knows what’s she doing.”

“So I’ve been told,” Marcus smiled. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Same as yesterday, walk around maybe bump into someone who knows what they want,” Lexa said. 

“Do you plan on going back to Becca or?”

“It’s probably the best to just be patient and wait.”

“I’ve never liked that strategy of yours.”

“It brought you a lot of money,” Lexa’s tongue was faster than her brain, something she didn’t let happen that often. Marcus didn’t look particularly happy.

“I think it will work,” Clarke jumped in. “I doubt she’ll wait another day to reach out to us. To Lexa,” she continued.

“I sure hope so,” Marcus got up. “I’ll see you tonight, or tomorrow morning.” 

“You can’t be that openly hostile,” Clarke whispered when they were alone.

“I wasn’t.”

“He’s not me.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“He won’t passively accept it,” Clarke said. “Don’t burn everything you’ve worked so hard for before thinking it through.”

“How do you know I didn’t think it through?”

“Because you are not stupid and that was a stupid thing to say.” Clarke was right and Lexa knew it, but lately she’d been acting out of her emotions and not reason. “Just think it through, make a plan and then burn it if you want, just don’t start fires that couldn’t grow out of your control.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

To say that the day was a success would be to undersell it.

A couple of hours into the conference Lexa got a call from Becca asking for a meeting. Half an hour later when they met Becca was too nervous to even sit still. Lexa knew that could mean only one thing. She was going to say yes. 

“I want the contract to say that I hold all creative and executive decisions. I don’t want my vision to get blurred by whatever your company thinks is the best,” Becca said.

“You don’t have to worry about that, I’ll make sure everything you want is put on paper and made official. No decision will ever be made behind your back or without your approval,” Lexa said.

“Then we have a deal,” Becca smiled.

“One that you will never regret,” Lexa assured her. “You can come by our offices on Thursday. If that works for you?” 

“Thursday is great.” 

“I’m looking forward to working with you.”

It was probably the biggest win in Lexa’s career, or at least she saw it like that. She was sure A.L.I.E was going to be huge.

“That was amazing.” They were out of the venue and walking back to hotel.

“It will get to my head Clarke if you keep doing it,” Lexa smiled.

“Keep doing what?” 

“Telling me how amazing I am.” 

“All in hope you’d reciprocate, but here we are…”

“It’s in the dosing it appropriately.”

“And the appropriate dosage is never?”

“Once a month as best.”

Clarke giggled, “But seriously, that was great, it’s a huge deal. We should celebrate.”

“Thanks, couldn’t have done it without you watching over me.”

“Is that the one dose for this month?”

“Maybe,” Lexa smiled.

“Then we really need to celebrate,” Clarke said. “Let’s go eat on Marcus’ expense.”

“Let’s make a habit out of it.”

“All in favor say aye.”

“Aye.”

“Aye indeed,” Clarke grinned.

Dinner went great, exceptional really. Lexa didn’t know if it was because she was still high on the adrenaline or because Clarke was there laughing at stupid jokes and looking like that.

“Is this some distorted version of reality that stops existing when we get back to the real reality?”

“I don’t follow.”

When they got back to the hotel Clarke asked Lexa to keep her company for a little more and Lexa had to pretend she wasn’t wishing for that same thing. They were out on the balcony, sitting on chairs they brought with them.

“If we called Anya and Raven and told them what we are doing, there’s no chance in hell they’d believe us,” Clarke chuckled. “Distorted version of reality.”

“It’s growth, that’s what people do.”

“Sometimes that growth is a false positive.”

“Confidence looks better on you.”

“One has to have a healthy dose of insecurity.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“I’m taking your word for it.”

Lexa looked to her left side, where Clarke was sitting and caught the blonde staring at her. “What?” In retrospect maybe Lexa was better off ignoring it.

“Are you single?” 

“What?,” Lexa felt her heart rate pick up.

“Are you single?,” Clarke asked again.

“I am,” Lexa said. The red in her cheeks got drowned in the black around them.

“Why?”

“Why am I single?”

“That’s the question.”

“Why are you?” 

“Why do you think I am?” 

“Because you are here with me and not…”

“I’m spending time with a friend.”

“That’s a loaded statement,” Lexa chuckled. 

“I prefer to be single,” Clarke said after a couple of seconds. “Your turn.”

“I barely have time for myself.”

“Hmm,” Clarke turned her head and looked up at the sky. She looked good even with nothing but moon lighting her up. “Do you think we are alone in the universe?”

“Are you drunk?” Clarke bursted out laughing. “From relationship questions to existential ones.”

“Which one do you prefer?,” Clarke grinned.

“I don’t think we are alone in the universe,” Lexa smirked.

“You think aliens just don’t have enough time to come by?,” Clarke teased.

“Imagine how hard it is to do alien work and then come home to wife and kids. Who would have time.”

“Maybe alien Lexa will stumble upon us,” Clarke bit her lip.

“I don’t think this world is ready for two of those.”

“I think that works only if someone else says it.”

“Rules are made to be broken,” Lexa smirked.

“I’ve always wanted to go up there,” Clarke’s eyes back up again.

“Why did you leave it at just wanting?”

“It was easier,” Clarke said, she turned to Lexa, “but I can draw you any part of the sky that you want. With closed eyes.” 

“You draw?”

“I try.” 

“I doubt there’s something Clarke Griffin tries and does not excel at it.”

“Then you don’t know me that well,” Clarke chuckled.

“I know enough,” Lexa smiled. “I should probably head back to my room.”

“Already?” Lexa got up from her chair and Clarke followed.

“It’s way past my bedtime,” Lexa smiled.

“I somehow doubt that,” Clarke walked up to her. “But okay,” she said.

“I’ve had fun.”

“Not more than me.”

“Agree to disagree.”

“Will you ever agree with me, Lexa?” Lexa leaned in, out of habit, as if Clarke’s was pulling her closer.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Maybe we can think of something,” Lexa felt Clarke’s warm breath on her face.

“You think?,” Lexa licked her lips. And passed on the last chance to pull back.

“I’m sure,” Clarke whispered before her lips were on Lexa’s, lightly touching, as if scared that the real world was going to catch up with them. She nipped at Lexa’s upper then lower lip when Lexa wrapped her fingers around the back of Clarke’s neck. Her tongue licked the underside of Clarke’s upper lip before she opened her mouth wider.

A few moments passed and Lexa was the first one to pull away. She looked at Clarke’s eyes and whispered, “Fuck.”


	7. Chapter 7

It took a couple of seconds for Lexa to realized what had just happened. She quickly dropped her hand from where it rested on the side of Clarke’s neck and took a step back. 

“I’m sorry,” she took another step away from Clarke. “This… that was a mistake,” she looked away.

“Lexa don’t…”

“I have to go.” Lexa knew if she were to look at Clarke she wouldn’t be able to go, so she didn’t. She left Clarke’s room quietly and quickly and never looking up or back at Clarke. 

It felt like someone had knocked the air out of her lungs. When she got back to her room she paced up and down, unable to breathe or think. 

“What did I do?,” she whispered into her hands. It never even crossed her mind something like that would happen. Or at least that’s what she was going to spend the rest of the night trying to convince herself to. 

Lexa could still taste Clarke on her tongue and feel the soft press of Clarke’s lips on her own. 

“Fuck.” Lexa didn’t plan on something like that happening, not today or ever, she couldn’t allow herself to think she did. But maybe Clarke did. Maybe all of it was an elaborate scheme to get something, to… “No,” Lexa cut her thought before it ran out of her hands. Clarke looked as freaked out as she did. Lexa looked at the wall standing between her and Clarke’s room. What was Clarke doing now? Lexa just left her standing there without stopping for even a second to consider that Clarke must be having the same thoughts and going through same stuff Lexa was. Clarke, loud and with her guard down, with her smile and eyes and hair. The next thought that popped into Lexa’s mind was the most dangerous of them all. What if she wasn’t sorry, what if the only mistake was to leave her there. 

Lexa laid back on the bed and closed her eyes. “What do I do?” She took the phone out of her pocket.

_ What do you do when you don’t know if something is good or bad? _

She sent the message and hoped it would bring her the clearness she was wishing for.

 

_ Are you drunk? _

Reply came back almost immediately.

 

_ I wish. _

A couple of seconds later her phone rang.

“What’s wrong?,” Anya asked.

“Just need help with thinking something through.”

“Thinking what throught?” 

“What to do when you don’t know if something that happened is good or bad?”

“Depends on what that something is.”

“Hypothetical something.”

“What did you do?” 

“Nothing,” Lexa lied. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” another lie. “I’m…”

“Okay, breathe Lexa. What happened?”

“I’m not sure I wanna talk about it,” Lexa sighed.

“Okay.” Anya was a lot of things at a lot of different times but she was always a friend. “You do what you think is the best.”

“And what if you don’t know.”

“You don’t have to know,” Anya said. “Do you feel that thing that happened is good or bad?”

“I feel if I mix feelings with this I won’t make it through the night,” Lexa heard Anya laugh on the other side, “I don’t see how that is funny.”

“I’m laughing because for a moment there you had me worried but now I know you will be fine,” Anya said. “If you don’t want to mix feelings then what is your brain saying to you.”

“It’s giving me mixed signals.”

“If you just told me what happened this would be so much easier for both of us.”

“It will be so much worse if I tell you.”

“Lexa now is not the time to be dramatic, just tell me.”

Lexa sighed, “I kissed Clarke.” Lexa could hear her heart beating and water running in the room next to hers. She couldn’t hear Clarke or Anya. “Are you there?,” she asked after too many seconds have passed.

“You kissed Clarke?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, now I understand why you’re asking me all these questions at this hour. I also have a million and one question…”

“Please not now,” Lexa interrupted her friend, she wasn’t ready to answer any of them.

“Did you like it?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

“You called asking for help.”

“I did.”

“Liked it?”

“Yes Anya I liked it.”

“Do you wanna do it again?” 

“Anya I don’t see how this is helping me.”

“You liked it and you wanna do it again, I really can’t see how something you like and wanna do again can be bad.”

“I can name more than one thing that you can like and want to do it and that is really bad for you.”

“That’s not the point. This is not something that can kill you or ruin your life. It’s just a girl.”

“It’s Clarke.”

“And Clarke is just a girl.”

“We work together.”

“I work with Raven.”

“I’m not you and Clarke is not Raven.”

“I still don’t see how any of that makes that kiss a bad thing,” Anya said. “Did you two talk about it?”

“No.”

“Don’t tell me you ran away?,” Anya asked and Lexa bit her tongue. “You sometimes really act like a child.”

“What was I supposed to do? 

“What did you do?” 

“Apologized and left.”

“Oh Lexa,” Anya sighed. “Every thought you are having right now, she also has but thousand times worse.”

“If I had stayed there we wouldn’t have talked.”

“And maybe that would have been for the best.”

“I’m starting to think this was a bigger mistake,” Lexa said.

“Lexa, I understand why you feel the way you feel and why you think the things you think but you have to stop with all of it. Clarke is just a girl and you kissed her. And that’s it. I don’t know what happened and how it came to that but I know you and you are not the one to do reckless things. If it happened that means you really thought about it and wanted it to happen, no matter what you are trying to force yourself to think.”

“As if my life wasn’t complicated enough.”

“Sleep on it and then talk with Clarke about it,” Anya said.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

“You know you didn’t.”

“Thank you.”

“You’ll be okay.”

* * *

Clarke didn’t sleep much that night and it wasn’t because she had a problem with knowing if what happened was good or bad. She felt how good it was in every part of her body and she couldn’t think of one bad thing about it.

She couldn’t sleep because it was too good, because she couldn’t stop her heart from racing and she couldn’t put out the fire burning in her chest. She couldn’t stop thinking about Lexa, the way she felt and made her feel or about the look in her eyes when she ran away. 

Mistake is not a word anyone would want to hear in that situation, but Lexa said it and Clarke would lie if she said she wasn’t expecting it. 

What she didn’t expect was the kiss. Not until Lexa got up to leave, not until Lexa looked at her like she was the only person in the world, not until she leaned in and Lexa didn’t lean away. 

Clarke spent the night going through the previous day. The way Lexa always made sure to say that one extra joke, to be just a bit smarter than everyone else in the room, the way she oozed confidence and the big smile she had when Clarke teased her, the one she stopped trying to hide. 

Clarke wasn’t expecting it or hoping for it, but she was thinking about it. Every time Lexa was just close enough for Clarke to feel her without touching her and every time Lexa stared at her like that when she thought Clarke wasn’t looking. It was different than any time before. It was so much more than any time before.

It was almost 7am when someone knocked on Clarke’s door. She almost didn’t get up but the tiny voice in the back of her head was telling her that it might be Lexa. She got up and walked to the door, she opened them and saw Lexa standing awkwardly in front of her, in black jeans and white shirt and a half smile on her face. 

“Can I come in?,” Lexa asked. Clarke pulled the door open and let Lexa in. She took only a couple of steps and stood next to the door, afraid of what is further inside, or what could happen. “I’m sorry,” she said when Clarke closed the door.

“You’ve already said that.”

“I’m sorry for leaving like I did.”

“It’s alright.” It was and it wasn’t. 

“I don’t know what got into me, I’m really sorry.”

“Lexa, it’s okay, you are allowed to do whatever you want, you don’t have to apologize to me,” Clarke could see Lexa was trying hard not to look at her. She was failing miserably. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” 

“No,” Lexa quickly shook her head.

“Okay, th…” Clarke felt Lexa’s body pressed against hers, Lexa’s lips on her own, Lexa’s hands on her face. She closed her eyes and gave into everything that Lexa was offering. It was soft and gentle, it made her insides ache in the sweetest way imaginable. “Don’t run away,” Clarke whispered against her mouth when Lexa pulled back a bit. “I couldn’t stop thinking...”

Lexa kissed her again, this time a lot less gentle. Her hands went down Clarke’s back and gripped at the side of her shirt. Clarke took a step forward and Lexa took a step back, then one more before her back hit the wall.

“Now I can’t run,” Lexa smiled.

“Good.” Clarke put her hands on Lexa’s hips and her lips on Lexa’s neck. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” she made Lexa gasp for air when she lightly sucked the soft skin under her ear. “You didn’t have to run,” Clarke licked over the glimpse of redness she left on Lexa’s skin. 

“You know me,” Lexa smiled nervously.

“I wanna,” Clarke brushed her mouth over Lexa’s. She felt Lexa pull her harder against her. Clarke moaned when Lexa’s tongue went over her lower lip, and Clarke’s hands drifted under Lexa’s shirt when she pulled Clarke’s lower lip between her teeth. Lexa’s skin was soft and warm and it made Clarke want more with every second she spent touching her. Lexa shivered when Clarke’s hands started to move up from her hips to her ribcage. She tugged down on Clarke’s shirt. “If you wanna take it off it’s the other way around,” Clarke whispered.

“Shu…” Clarke’s mouth was back on Lexa’s neck and it made her forget about everything else. “Fuck.” Clarke hooked her finger under Lexa’s bra when someone knocked on the door. Clarke quickly covered Lexa’s mouth with her hand. “What the fuck?,” Lexa asked pulling down Clarke’s hand from her mouth.

“It’s probably room service,” Clarke whispered, her hands were still under Lexa’s shirt and they both were out of breath and in no state to deal with whoever that was.

“They would have said that,” Lexa said.

Someone knocked again. 

“I’m going to open,” Clarke shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with you being here, whoever it is, we are colleagues, we could be doing whatever in here, and also it’s not their fucking business what we’re doing,” she stepped away from Lexa. “Just act natural.” 

“Clarke,” Lexa tried to stop her.

“How do I look,” Clarke straightened her shirt and Lexa blushed. “You are useless,” Clarke chuckled.

She took a short walk to the door, “Marcus,” she said when she opened them.

“Good morning Clarke,” he said and walked in. “Oh, there you are.” Clarke prayed Lexa knew what natural meant, she closed the door and looked at her. “I was just by your room and you weren’t there,” Marcus said and Lexa looked all but natural. “Good that you are here, I’m just here to say that we have a change of plans and we are checking out in an hour,” he smiled then turned to Clarke. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“I should go pack the rest of my things,” Lexa quickly said.

“Lexa…”

“We’ll talk later.” Lexa left without looking at Clarke.

Clarke sighed and turned to Marcus, “What’s wrong?” 

“Why do you ask that?” 

“You wanted to talk about something, I assume there’s a problem?”

“Oh, no, there’s no problem, I just wanted to check in with you,” he smiled. “You and Lexa seemed to be getting along better.”

“We had a chance to get to know each other a bit better.”

“I’m really glad things are working out between you two, I knew you would be great together if you only just tried, I’m glad I was right,” Marcus said.

Clarke’s eyes kept drifting to where a couple of minutes ago she had Lexa pressed between the wall and her own body. “Makes two of us,” she smiled at Marcus. 

“I was thinking the three of us could go to dinner later this week and discuss what’s in front of us.”

“Sure,” Clarke realized she never heard Lexa get into her room. 

“Good. I’ll let you get ready now,” he said before leaving.

“Please don’t freak out on me again,” Clarke whispered looking at the wall standing between her and Lexa’s room. 

* * *

Clarke’s wish didn’t really come through. Lexa didn’t look like she was freaking out, but she was also avoiding her. She barely said a word to Clarke all the way from the hotel to the airport and while they were waiting to board the plane.

“Are you okay?,” she finally said something minutes before they were supposed to take off.

“As okay as I could be.”

“Do you have something you do that helps you relax?”

“Close my eyes and hope it’s done when I open them,” Clarke turned her head and smiled at Lexa.

“That’s a really bad plan,” Lexa chuckled.

“Do you have a better one?”

Lexa put her hand on top of hers. “You try and think about something that helps you relax,” Lexa slowly dragged her finger from Clarke’s wrist to her finger. “Lying on some beach, if that’s your thing,” she smiled.

“With a cocktail in one hand and…”

“And your phone in the other,” Lexa looked at Clarke’s other hand and a phone she was holding.

“Are you a cocktail in this scenario?”

“Do you want me to be?” Before Clarke could say anything, plane started to move, slowly at first than faster. Clarke closed her eyes and held Lexa’s hand tightly. “We’ll be up soon,” Lexa whispered. 

“What’s your favourite cocktail?,” Clarke asked once they were up in the air. She was still holding Lexa’s hand.

“Whiskey.”

Clarke chuckled, “You are such a cliche.”

“I’m no such thing,” Lexa smiled.

“C’mon, what’s your favourite one, I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“Old fashioned.”

“I feel like you’re lying,” Clarke smirked.

“Why would you say that?” 

“I’ve learned you are a really bad liar,” Clarke said. “And your heart is beating faster than normal.”

“That’s not because I’m lying,” Lexa smiled. A kid in front of them started to cry.

“I’m not the only one enjoying this flight.”

“At least you’re not screaming.”

“Yet,” Clarke laughed.

“I think you’ll be fine.”

* * *

Clarke didn’t know what was she supposed to do and if she was supposed to do anything. What does one do after having lived through the couple of days that she had? Was she supposed to call Lexa? Text her? Or wait for Lexa to do something, or do nothing at all.

When they landed Marcus gave them the rest of the day free and dragged Clarke to lunch with him and her mother. Lexa disappeared as soon as they got out of the airport and left Clarke with more questions than answers. 

She decided to wait and do nothing until Lexa does something. Or at least until the next day when they were going to be at work. Which proved to be worse than waiting. It looked like Lexa forgot about everything that happened and was back to ignoring Clarke. But this time it was like she was pretending Clarke didn’t exist.

“Are we good?,” Clarke asked her when she caught her alone in the bathroom.

“Of course, why?” 

“I just wanted to know. You’ve been…” But then Maya walked in and Lexa walked out, never giving Clarke a chance to finish.

It was the longest eight hours of Clarke’s life and the first time since she started working there that she left before 5pm. 

* * *

“You are late.”

“I told you I’ll be late and to wait for me inside.”

“You are late, why are you late?”

“I lost track of time.” 

“Doing what? Or doing who?,” Anya smirked.

“I was sleeping.”

“Alone?”

“Anya please, let’s go inside.”

“I totally expect you to tell me everything, especially the part about how the fuck did you end up kissing Clarke Griffin.”

“Let’s go inside.” 

The restaurant was full enough for Lexa to know that Anya was not going to be teasing or asking too much, Lexa’s day was bad enough without that. She spent it avoiding Clarke. It started out of necessity and ended because of fear. DC hotel’s were far from real word and 10 thousand feet in the air was even further. Clarke hated it, it was obvious and Lexa hated that she was doing it. 

“I see a familiar pair of faces,” Anya was looking over Lexa’s shoulder when she said it.

“Who?,” Lexa made a mistake of turning around. She saw Abby waving at her and Clarke sitting with her back turned to them. 

“She’s calling us over,” Anya was grinning.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Seems like your girlfriend thinks the same as you do.”

“She is not my girlfriend.”

“Your soon to be girlfriend.”

“She is not my…”

“Lexa, Anya, it’s so good to see you,” Lexa heard Abby’s voice and felt her hand on her back.

“Hi Abby,” Anya said and Lexa just smiled.

“How are you?,” Abby asked, her hand still on Lexa’s back.

“Great,” Anya smiled. “You?” 

“Not bad,” Abby said. “I’m here with Clarke, you should come join us.”

“Oh no, we don’t wanna be in the way,” Lexa jumped in. 

“Nonsense, it’s been so long since I saw you girls, I insist.”

“Thank you really, but…”

“I won’t take no for an answer, c’mon,” Clarke was right, her mother really didn’t like to get a no for an answer.

“Okay,” Lexa gave up and Anya grinned.

“I’m gonna go tell the waiter,” Abby said. “You two go ahead.”

“This night is turning to be so much more than I thought it was going to be,” Anya said while they were walking to Clarke’s table. She still had their back turned to them.

“I will kill you if you say something stupid.”

“Evening Clarke,” Anya was the first one to sit.

“What is it with my mother always getting what she wants?,” Clarke chuckled. “Hi,” she said to Anya and smiled at Lexa before quickly looking away.

“Lexa tried her best but seems she has a thing for Griffin women.”

“Anya,” Lexa warned.

“Can you blame her?” 

“Clarke,” Lexa turned her head to Clarke.

“Lexa,” blonde looked at her.

“That’s settled,” Abby came back in the just right or just wrong moment, depending who’d you ask. “Lexa I hear congratulations are in order.” Lexa looked at Clarke’s mother and frowned. “Marcus told me the trip was a success, I was just about to ask Clarke about it.”

“It went good yes,” Lexa said.

“I’m so happy you all seem to be working great together.”

“Some more than the other,” Anya said.

“You’ll do great things together,” Abby smiled. “WIth Marcus backing you up, of course.”

“Why do you think that?,” Lexa asked.

“He has big plans.”

“Sometimes plans take a long time to work out, and sometimes those involved don’t like to sit and patiently wait.”

“Lexa,” Clarke quietly said, “she’s not him,” she made sure only Lexa heard the last part. 

“I have to say you lost me there,” Abby chuckled.

Lexa looked at the pleading look in Clarke’s eyes, telling her to not do it then and there, and that there was a better time, place and person to say it to. “I’m just thinking out loud, nothing important,” she said to Abby.

“So, the trip,” Abby changed the subject, “did you do something fun or?”

“You seem to be forgetting the fact that they both don’t know what that word means,” Anya laughed. “But then again maybe they surprise us,” she smirked.

“It wasn’t a vacation,” Clarke said.

“There must be something you did that wasn’t work related,” Abby insisted.

“We just hung out,” Clarke seemed like it wasn’t her first time getting to sit through her mother questioning her. Lexa wondered how long it took for Clarke to lie so effortlessly.

“Lexa, are you still single?,” sometime later, Abby asked.

“Mom, what the fuck?,” Clarke said before Lexa even realized what Abby had said.

“Clarke, language. Besides, it’s just a question,” Abby shrugged.

“I am,” Lexa said.

“I’ll never understand how is that possible,” Abby shook her head. “I’ve known you now for quite some time and I don’t think you’ve ever been in a relationship.”

“I don’t think you’d be the first person she would tell that,” Clarke said.

“You’ve also been single,” Abby said to Clarke.

“I’ve had a couple of girlfriends,” Lexa saw that Clarke was close to losing it and that Abby had no intention to stop. Turning the spotlight back to her seemed like the best option. 

“You did?,” Abby sounded surprised.

“Yes,” Lexa smiled. 

“I’ve never met them,” Abby said.

“But I have, all were great, but Lexa always found a reason why they weren’t great enough,” Anya said.

“That’s something Clarke likes to do too.”

“Let’s not talk about Clarke like she’s not here,” Clarke was visibly annoyed.

“What were they like?,” Abby asked.

“That’s not your question to ask,” Clarke intervened to try and stop her mother from asking any more questions that were making everyone at the table, except Anya it seemed, uncomfortable. “If she wanted you to meet them then you would have met them, but you didn’t so I don’t think she wants you to know something or anything about all that.”

“Why are you so vigilant about this?” 

“Because I hate when you have no boundaries.”

“I met them all in college, but they didn’t really have an understanding for the hours I do, we drifted apart.”

“I can understand that,” Abby said. Her phone rang. “I’ll have to take this, I’ll be right back.”

“You don’t have to indulge her,” Clarke said when her mother wasn’t there anymore.

“I feel like if I don’t you two will kill each other.”

“That’s just a regular Thursday for us.”

“I’d rather it be a laid back Friday,” Lexa bit her lip.

“Why?,” Clarke still sounded far from happy.

“She wants to keep a good impression,” Anya said.

“I doubt that,” Clarke chuckled, “Besides, the next thing she was going to say was how good we would be for each other.”

“I’m glad I didn’t witness that, Raven would kill me if she missed that.”

“Will this day ever end,” Lexa rubbed her forehead.

“I can find a reason to leave,” Clarke said quietly.

“Why?” 

“To make the day end faster.”

“You’re not the reason…” Lexa’s words trailed off when Clarke looked away. “Hey, is something wrong?,” Lexa whispered.

“Long day.”

“What did I miss?,” Abby sat back at her seat.

The rest of the dinner Clarke stayed quiet, Lexa kept looking at her and Anya kept trying to keep the conversation going. A couple of hours later they were on their way out of the restaurant. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?,” Lexa asked Clarke after she said goodbye to Abby. Anya left a couple of minutes after Abby did. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“You seem off.”

“Long day.”

“Is it because of something I did or said?,” Lexa said.

“I’m just tired.”

“Clarke.”

“It’s what you didn’t do or say,” Clarke finally admitted. “You’ve been ignoring me,” she continued after she saw a confused look on Lexa’s face. “All day. Acting like you are back to hating me.”

“I didn’t… it’s just we were back at work and I…”

“It’s fine Lexa.”

“We work together, we can’t be…”

“I wasn’t expecting you to fuck me on my desk.”

“I…”

“It’s been a long day and it’s best if it ends now. We’ll talk tomorrow, I guess.”

Clarke got into a taxi and Lexa stood on the sideways watching her disappear in the distance.


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke didn’t go home after the dinner. When she got into the car she took out her phone and called Bellamy. Luckily he was free and was already at the bar not far from Clarke’s apartment. She needed a drink, or maybe a couple of them, and someone who would in no way mention Lexa to her. 

When Clarke got there there was already a glass of wine waiting for her.

“I reckoned you’d need one.”

“You know me so well,” Clarke sat down and relaxed. She stretched her neck to one side, then the other.

“I see dinner with Abby was a success as always.”

“Huge success.”

“Then I’ll talk about how boring my week has been, maybe that cheers you up,” he smiled.

“Please and thank you,” Clarke said. 

Bellamy was a safe zone when it came to a lot of things. He was probably the only one of Clarke’s friends who didn’t pressure her into talking about things that made her week a lot less boring than his was. Raven was there when she needed someone to whom Clarke would have to say little to nothing and she’d know almost everything, Octavia was there when Clarke needed rage and Bellamy was there when Clarke needed to forget. Even if it was for just a couple of hours.  

She zoned out not even a couple of minutes after he started talking. She didn’t do it on purpose, as a matter of fact her plan was to make his problems hers, but it was the first time that day she felt like she could breathe. 

Seeing Lexa at the restaurant, seeing her smile and look the way she looked was something Clarke wasn’t prepared for. She was starting to realize Lexa is someone Clarke is rarely prepared for. 

“Clarke, are you even listening to me?” Clarke lost track of what Bellamy was talking about. 

“What?”

“You’re not,” Bellamy chuckled. “Did you hear anything I said?”

“Maybe,” Clarke lied.

“You seem off, was the dinner that bad?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what? Are you okay?”

“No, I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” she smiled.

“Will you spill it already?,” Bellamy asked. “You are not really here since the moment you sat down.” 

“What?”

“Is it a girl?,” he asked.

“I don’t understand?,” fake it till you make it, Clarke’s recipe for success, pretend like you don’t know what people are talking about and maybe they drop it. 

“You haven’t really been here all night, is it because of a girl because that’s how you used to look when there was a girl involved.”

“It’s complicated,” Clarke said.

“So there is a girl,” he smiled. “Do I know her?,” he added.

“You don’t.”

“Do I wanna know her?”

“It’s complicated.”

“How?”

“We work together.”

“So what?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Why do you keep saying that?,” Bellamy said. “It’s really annoying. Don’t be annoying, it doesn’t suit you. C’mon I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Clarke stopped to think. Bellamy was far enough from everyone to be safe for Clarke to tell him whatever she wanted. “Do you remember that girl from work that didn’t like me very much?”

“I do.”

“It’s her.”

“That’s…”

“Complicated yes,” Clarke said.

“I was going to say interesting,” Bellamy smiled. “Is it complicated because she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“No,” Clarke quickly responded. “I think we are on the same page. Maybe,” she paused, “at least that’s what I thought, but when I think about it there is not a lot of stuff that proves we are. I could make a better case for why she doesn’t feel like that and I don’t even know how I feel, it hasn’t got to that point yet and I’m not sure it will,” Clarke thought back to that night in her hotel room, Lexa’s fingers digging into her neck, the terrified look in her eyes before she left, the next morning and the way Lexa’s body felt pressed against hers. She drank the rest of her wine. “We kissed, multiple times and now she’s ignoring me and that’s kinda all there is to it,” she said.

“You kissed?” 

“Yes.”

“And now she’s ignoring you?”

“Pretending I don’t exist.”

“At work?”

“Yes.”

“What about outside the work?”

“I don’t know.”

“You haven’t…”

“What am I supposed to do if she’s ignoring me?”

“Talk to her.”

“That’s easier said than done. You haven’t met her.”

“What? Are you scared?,” he laughed.

“I’m not scared, she’s just not an easy person to talk to. I mean she is when she wants to, but like I said she doesn’t seem really into the talking thing right now.”

“Text her then.”

“And tell what? ‘Hey Lexa why are you ignoring me?’”

“Something along those lines, yes,” he said. 

“I think she’d completely freak out if I said anything like that to her,” Clarke chuckled. “I had dinner with my mom earlier and it’s a complicated story but she and Anya, Raven’s Anya, were there and my mom made them have dinner with us.”

“Your mom knows her?”

“My mom is… I don’t even know what to say about all that, but yes she knows them. And the dinner was a disaster. Kinda,” Clarke said. “I mean she was more relaxed than at work, and I did ask her why she’s been acting the way she has and she didn’t know what to say, she started to ramble and I left.”

“I think you’d be able to make literally everything complicated,” Bellamy looked at her.

“This one is not on me.”

“Drop it all on the one that is not here to defend herself.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?,” Clarke smiled.

“What does Raven have to say about it?”

“She thinks both of us are really stupid.”

“And when was Raven wrong?”

“You are supposed to be on my side.”

“Is she hot?”

“Let’s not talk about that.”

“So she is. On a scale to ten?”

“Bellamy please.”

“C’mon, to take your mind off of the not so nice stuff.”

“She’s a solid twenty.”

“You really should try a bit harder then.”

“Maybe.”

* * *

That night Lexa slept for less than four hours. Maybe even less than three. It was hard to get the picture of Clarke in front of the restaurant out of her head. She looked far from happy and Lexa couldn’t blame her. If Lexa was in her place she’d probably be as furios, if not even more.

All the not sleeping made her think about the past couple of days. It gave her the chance to rewind and rethink it. She realized she’d been doing pretty much everything the wrong way. From the moment she kissed Clarke for the first time. Lexa was thinking too much and too little at the same time. And it had to stop. 

“Did you get lucky last night?,” was the first thing Anya said when she walked into Lexa’s office that morning.

“Good morning, to you too. You are here early,” Lexa said to prolong the inevitable.

“We are going to do now what we were supposed to do last night but were rudely interrupted by some members of the Griffin family,” Anya sat on the chair next to Lexa’s desk. “Talk.”

“Nothing happened.”

“Except you kissed Clarke Griffin. Of all people. Twice. If someone told me that was going to happen I’d laugh in their face.”

“She’s not that bad.”

Anya lifted her brow, “Oh I know she’s not, but what made you change your mind? And so fast.”

“We talked.”

“And it changed your mind?” 

“Turns out things are not always as they seem.”

“Wow imagine that.”

“We just spent a lot of time together and I lost my mind for a moment,” Lexa said. “And then again the next morning,” she bit her lip.

“And then?” 

“And then nothing.”

“Typical Lexa.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I heard Clarke’s upset,” Anya said.

“Who told you that?”

“Sources,” Anya smiled. “Your brain is gonna explode and drip down from your eyes and ears if you continue with all that thinking and mental gymnastics thing you got going on,” Anya shook her head. “It must be hard to find a reason to ditch her when she’s looking like that and when you’ve had a taste of all that.”

“Anya.”

“What?,” Anya laughed. “As if you haven’t spent last day or two thinking about all the reasons why doing it would be a bad idea.”

“I was trying to not think about it at all.”

“That’s a lie.”

“That’s the problem. I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s driving me crazy,” Lexa put her hand over her face. “Four days ago I couldn’t wait to not see her and now I can’t wait to see her.”

Anya looked surprised, “That’s unexpected. And it’s bothering you?”

“It wouldn’t bother you?”

“Would it bother you if you met her just two days ago?” 

“It’s not the same.”

“How so?,” Anya said. “It all falls down to getting to know her better. Makes no difference if you just met her or if you’ve known her for five years,” Anya looked at her friend. “What exactly you can’t stop thinking about? Because I know a way you can find out if it’s just a one time physical thing.”

“That’s not an option.”

“Sure.”

“It’s not.”

“Do you at least know why you’re so freaked out?”

“I’m not freaked out.”

“Do you know why?”

“Everyone would talk about it.”

“Who is everyone?,” Anya frowned.

“Everyone here. They’d never stop.”

“So your main concern is what other people would think about it when nothing even has happened yet?”

“I don’t want to be the butt of every joke around here.”

“I never thought you cared about that. And I’m sure they are not crazy enough to do that. It’s you and Clarke we are talking about.”

“I don’t want it to even be an option.”

“Why do you even think anyone would know you two are doing anything? It’s not like you’d do it here in front of everyone? How is no one talking about Raven and I?”

“Because it’s not the same thing with you two.”

“What? We are less interesting than you?”

“No, you just didn’t have a very public display of not liking each other.”

“So what?,” Anya said. “Again, why do you think anyone would know? And why do you care about it now when you’ve got nothing going on? When you haven’t even talked to the girl?”

“I don’t know.”

“I know and so do you, it goes back to finding a reason to ditch her.”

“It’s not that.”

“You can’t really control what people are going to talk about and think about and do. You can control other things though.”

“It is under control now, isn’t it?”

“You should talk to her,” Anya got up. “Tell her all this, or more, or less, just anything because you’ll drive her crazy if you keep not doing anything and saying even less. And try to explain to her why you’ve been acting like an idiot again. And make up your mind,” she said before she walked out of Lexa’s office and left Lexa alone with her thoughts. And there were a lot of those. 

She hadn’t told Anya about the whole situation with Marcus and the reason and why Clarke got the job. Lexa hadn't even thought about it yet, she was too distracted. Or she was avoiding it. 

She knew she had to make a decision to either stay quiet and wait, or to confront Marcus and probably leave.

Her life turned upside down in a matter of days and the only thing that was on her mind was Clarke.

* * *

A couple of hours into the day Clarke got a call from Marcus. There was a meeting she was supposed to attend, with Marcus and Lexa about Becca and their next steps. Whatever that meant. Just thinking about it gave Clarke a headache.

When he called she was just about to get up from her desk and go over to Lexa’s office. She had a whole speech prepared of what she was going to say to her. She spent the ride to the work thinking about it and working herself up to walking in there first thing in the morning. But Anya was there and Clarke had to postpone it. The second time it almost happened was when she heard Anya leave but then her phone rang, her mom found the appropriate time to call her. 

Third time was in the kitchen and they were alone.

“We should talk,” she said.

“I’m in a hurry,” Lexa tried to get out of it before it even began.

“Really?”

“I am, really, but we can talk later.”

“Yeah, sure we can.”

Lexa left without saying anything else. 

“I have trouble understanding.”

“I can’t help you with that.”

“What are you waiting for?,” Raven was in her office for a short break as she called it. “Help her out.”

“Help her out?”

“Yeah.”

“Not even an hour ago I tried to help her out but she ran away from me, again.”

“Didn’t she say she was in a hurry?”

“What exactly did Anya tell you?,” Clarke frowned.

“She said she’s not going to be the middle woman, and neither will I.”

“But she told you something?”

“You’re not telling me everything Lexa tells you. Don’t expect me to spill it.”

“Do you want a full transcript of what she told me?” 

“You are late for the meeting,” Raven smiled.

Raven was right, Clarke was late and it was on purpose. She couldn’t deal being with Lexa alone and waiting. It’d be all too much.

“I’m sorry I’m late, something came up at the last minute,” she said when she walked in. Lexa was already there. She turned around when Clarke walked in but quickly looked back at Marcus.

“That’s alright,” Marcus said. Clarke smiled and sat next to Lexa. “So, what’s the plan?,” he said.

“I talked with Becca yesterday. She’ll come by sometime next week,” Lexa said.

“To finalize things or?” 

“To talk.”

“Talk? I thought it was a done deal.”

“Not yet.”

“I want Clarke to be involved in it,” Marcus said after a couple of seconds of silence.

“Why?,” Lexa asked.

“Every new client has to go through Clarke’s hands, so to speak.”

Clarke threw a glance at Lexa. She looked angry, her fingers digged into the chair. Clarke realized Lexa’s life was as messed up as hers was, if not even more. “Since when?,” she asked before Lexa could show how angry she was.

“Since now. I believe that way we will have better control over things.”

“What things?,” Lexa sounded even angrier than she looked.

“I can’t oversee every deal we make.”

“You never did it anyway, you just signed off the papers.”

“And like I said we need better control over things.”

“I can control my clients without someone looking over my shoulder.”

“Our clients,” Marcus corrected her. 

Clarke felt like things were close to getting out of control. “I don’t think that’s really necessary,” she said. “I think Lexa is more than capable of doing things on her own, like she has been doing it for a while now.”

“I think it is, we need someone who will be able to navigate and know…”

“Why does that have to be me?,” Clarke asked.

“You have the most experience…”

“In what exactly?,” Lexa interrupted him.

“I’m sorry?”

“In what way is Clarke more experienced than I am?” 

“Where is this coming from?”

“I want to know.”

“Lexa,” Clarke tried to pull her back from what seemed like a one way road. 

“No Clarke,” Lexa turned to her, “I respect you and you are great at what you do,” she looked back at Marcus. “But I need to know why are you a better choice.”

“Don’t you think this is a conversation the two of us should be having?,” Marcus looked at Lexa.

“No, I think this is the only fair way to do it.”

“I don’t agree, you are putting Clarke on the spot and…”

“I’m not the one doing that.”

“What are you trying to insinuate Lexa?”

Clarke felt like she was in the middle of the fire that was threatening to burn the whole place down. “I think everyone needs to take a deep breath and take a step back,” she said. 

“Mr Kane your 2 o’clock is here,” Marcus’ assistant knocked and opened the door. “What should I do?,” she asked.

“We can do this some other time,” Clarke got up and pulled Lexa with her. She practically dragged her out of Marcus’ office and let go of her hand only when they were outside. “Do you ever think before you speak?,” Clarke asked.

“I don’t appreciate you doing what you just did.”

“Oh, so you were ready to quit? Or get fired? You had it all planned out and knew what you were going to do and say?”

“There was no need for you to intervene.”

“You’ve both put me in the middle of it all and I’m really not in the mood to deal with any of that shit,” Clarke said. “You have every right to be mad, just don’t mix me in any of it.”

“That’s not really possible now is it?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means it has a lot to do with you.”

“Are we really going to do this again?” 

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

“What…”

“Like I said, I’m not in the mood.”

Clarke didn’t go back to her office, she went outside. She needed open space and air. Lots of it.

* * *

“I’m not ignoring you.”

It was hours after the meeting with Marcus and Lexa. It was hours after pretty much everyone in the office went home. It was closer to 8pm than it was to 5pm. Clarke lifted her head, confused and distracted until she saw Lexa standing in front of her. “I’m sorry?,” it was late and she wasn’t expecting anyone, let alone Lexa.

“I wasn’t ignoring you, I’m not ignoring you.”

“And what are you doing?,” Clarke leaned back in her chair and watched the way Lexa nervously looked around Clarke’s office and shifted from one leg to the other. 

“Thinking.”

“You are thinking?” 

“Yes.”

“About what?”

“About what happened and what to do.”

“And you never considered getting me involved in all the thinking that you’re doing?”

“I didn’t know what to say,” Lexa said. “Like I said, I was thinking.”   
“You know I’m a real person in the real world and I exist even when you are just thinking about me…,” Clarke paused, “when you’re thinking without saying anything to me is still considered ignoring me,” Clarke got up and walked around and in front of her desk. She leaned back on it and looked at Lexa. “I expected one thing and got something entirely different. Something I honestly never thought I’d get, you didn’t look the type,” Clarke noticed Lexa struggled to keep an eye contact. She pushed herself off the floor and sat on the edge of the desk.

“I realize that now,” Lexa looked down at her feet. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

“I thought that was what you were doing,” Clarke smiled. “It caught me off guard and it kinda hurt, it left me feeling all kinds of things and not a lot of them are nice,” she said. “Last couple of days haven’t been that great. You should have warned me what to expect.”

“I’m sorry. I really am. I realized I never thought about what and how you feel, I was just thinking about myself. It was selfish and stupid and I’m sorry.”

Lexa looked like she meant what she said. She looked closer to the Lexa Clarke got to know in those couple of days they were away from the real world. “I forgive you, if it means something. But I still don’t understand.”

“I wanted to have options.”

“Options?”

“Yes, I didn’t want to come here without knowing what…,” Clarke crossed her legs and it seemed to make Lexa forget she had to finish that sentence.

“What you want?,” Clarke’s voice made Lexa look up.

She frowned, shook her head and said, “What I was going to say.”

“And how’s that going for you?,” Clarke smiled.

“It’s distracting,” Lexa bit her lip.

“What is?”

“You are,” Lexa’s eyes drifted down Clarke’s shirt, skirt and legs. “This is,” she said.

“Bullshit,” Clarke laughed. She pushed herself off of her desk and took a step toward Lexa and Lexa took a step back, away from Clarke. 

“That’s why I was avoiding you. Yesterday and today.”

Clarke kept going forward and Lexa kept walking backwards. “You are going to run out of the room soon.” Clarke caught Lexa looking briefly over her shoulder before looking back at her. She stopped and looked in the same direction and smiled. “Have I planted a bug in your mind?,” she smiled looking back at Lexa. “It’s a nice bug, isn’t it?”

“What’s your goal here Clarke?” Lexa abruptly stopped and Clarke didn’t. She bumped into Lexa and felt Lexa’s hands on her hips holding her in place and at a distance. 

“I can’t stop thinking about that morning,” Clarke could feel the warmth of Lexa’s hands even over her shirt.

“Someone could see us,” the words were supposed to be a warning, a way to tell Clarke to be careful. It sounded like everything but a warning. 

“It’s 7 pm and we are not doing anything,” Clarke said. “Yet.”

“Clarke.”

“I take it you’ve spent some time thinking about that desk and…”

“Clarke.”

“Lexa.” 

“We have to talk,” Lexa said.

“I know, but what would happen if we didn’t do that right now?” 

Lexa licked her lips, “I might have thought about it but that doesn’t mean I can’t control myself.”   
“Only because I’m letting you.”

“You’re letting me?,” Lexa raised her brows.

“Yes, I’m being nice and giving you space and time, even if it means forever. Aren’t I nice?” 

“Are you always this…”

Clarke lifted her brow teasingly, “This?”

“Insufferable.” 

“Only when I want something,” Clarke smirked.

“What do you want?”

“I’m scared you’ll run away if I tell you,” Clarke put her hands just under Lexa’s elbows. “Do you want me to tell you?”

“Clarke,” Lexa’s grip on Clarke’s hips got tighter. It made Clarke’s shirt run up a bit and she felt a couple of Lexa’s fingers on her skin. 

“You don’t deserve it, but I wanna kiss you.”

“Clarke.”

“God, don’t ever stop saying my name like that.”

“Woah,” Clarke looked at the door just as Lexa jumped three feet away from her. Raven covered her eyes. “I saw nothing,” she said.

“Because nothing happened,” Clarke said.

“I’m leaving,” Raven still had her eyes covered. “Call me later,” she yelled as she left.

Clarke looked at Lexa looking terrified. “Relax, will you,” she said, “she’s just joking, nothing happened and even if it did she wouldn’t tell anyone anything.”

“It could have been someone else.” 

“But it wasn’t.”

“We have to talk.”

Clarke shook her head. She pulled her shirt down and stepped away from Lexa. “Then talk.”

“What are we going to do?”

“About what?” 

“Clarke don’t play dumb.”

“I’m not, if you wanna talk then talk, don’t expect me to read your mind.”

“I don’t want to be the main talking point of everyone in this office.”

“Neither do I.”

“People talk and they say stupid shit all the time.”

“I don’t think anyone knows that better than I do.”

“Yes Clarke, I know, and so does everyone else in here. Everyone heard us fight and they kept whispering about it. I can’t even imagine what they would talk now.”

“Now that what? You are acting as if nothing ever happened, I don’t see how that could make anyone talk about anything.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what? You are thinking about a couple of months from now? Years? Even though you haven’t even told me what do you want and what it means for me?”

“I don’t run head first into anything.”

“That’s not my experience with you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“It means you need to stop getting ahead of everything and start taking things step by step,” Clarke said. “Nothing happened and you are already thinking what will someone completely irrelevant think of a possible situation that could happen months from now,” she walked back closer to Lexa. “Do you want me to forget about what happened because that would solve a lot of your problems it seems.”

“No,” Lexa quickly shook her head.

“Do you want me to start ignoring you?”

“No,” Lexa said, this time more quietly.

“Then what do you want?” 

“I don’t know,” Lexa closed her eyes. She opened them only after she felt Clarke’s fingers on her wrist. “What do you want?,” she asked. 

“I wanna hear what you want,” Clarke said. “If you can’t say it then I can’t help you and this talking thing has no point.”

“I wanna spend time with you.”

“You look like you ran a marathon.”

“I kinda feel like it too.”

“You’re kinda a disaster, aren’t you?,” Clarke couldn’t help but smile.

“What makes you think that?” Lexa was starting to relax, she didn’t look as tense as a minute before and it gave Clarke hope of things that were to come.

“I need you to think again, for a minute, just,” Clarke bit her lip.

“Okay,” Lexa smiled.

“Do you think we could hang out tomorrow around this time somewhere far from here?” 

“I think we could.”

Clarke smiled, “That’s a start.”


	9. Chapter 9

“I honestly don’t understand why are you so nervous.”

“I’m not nervous.”

“I’ve seen you try on three different shirts and a dress,” Raven said. “You are nervous.”

Clarke had never been the one to be nervous about going on dates. She was always the one calming down her friends, the one Raven would call to freak out and the one to talk Octavia out of getting out of it. But this time it was Clarke who needed to be calmed. She realized she had a problem when she started to get ready three hours before Lexa was supposed to pick her up for their date or drinks that were probably going to turn to dinner with drinks. A date. “Maybe a bit too much,” Clarke sighed. “It’s been a long time,” Clarke tried to convince herself more than Raven.

“You can’t lie to me Clarke,” Raven said. “That’s not why you’ve been acting the way you are.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being nervous.”

“I agree, on the contrary, it’s completely normal. You are just not used to it and I can hear it’s driving you crazy.”

“I don’t know what to expect and that’s driving me crazy,” Clarke admitted.

“You don’t know what to expect in what way?”

“I don’t know what she’s expecting from this, or even what she thinks this is,” Clarke said. “I don’t even know if she’s thinking about it at all.”

“First of all it’s Lexa, she probably wrote a dissertation about this,” Raven said. “And second, what do you think it is?”

“I don’t know.”

“Or you don’t want to say it out loud.”

“No, I honestly don't know. I mean, it’s a date.”

"No shit?”

“Neither of us ever called it that.”

“Because you two are a couple of idiots who spend most of their time dancing around each other instead of being blunt and honest,” Raven sighed. “You do realize that being honest is the only thing that seems to be working for you two? And every time either tried to be coy and I don’t know what, it ended miserably for everyone involved,” Raven said. “Just be honest, about everything. That way you’ll help her feel less unsure about whatever it is that you want her to do.”

“You know something I don’t and it’s really rude of you to not share it with me.”

“If I told you anything Anya would kill me and Lexa would kill Anya and that’d be two people you’d have to carry on your soul.”

“I’m your best friend.”

“That’s why I’m not telling you anything,” Raven laughed. “Besides, there’s not much I could tell you. All I know is that her thoughts are not far from yours and that you both are exaggerating everything,” Raven said. “Really just calm down and act like normal people do, everything doesn’t always have to be so… over the top and dramatic.”

“What do I wear?,” Clarke looked at all the clothes she had already discarded.

“Are we really back on that?,” Clarke could hear Raven was starting to get annoyed. “You can wear whatever, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“You’ve helped me with literally nothing. Why did I even bother calling you?”

“You needed a voice of reason.”

“And still I called you.”

“You are so funny, but keep some of it for later, don’t use it all up now. Think of Lexa.”

“I’m gonna hang up now.”

“Clarke, just one more thing,” Raven said before Clarke ended the call. “When you’re going to be deciding what to wear, remember that less is more in this case.”

“I’m never calling you again.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, you’ll do just fine,” Raven said. “And I do expect you to call me tomorrow with the details about how great Lexa is in…”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

“Don’t pretend you’re not thinking about it.”

“I’m not gonna say anything about that.”

“You don’t have to,” Raven chuckled. “Your actions speak more than words,” she said and then added “both of your actions.”

“Not gonna say it.”

“Have fun and don’t give her a heart attack.”

* * *

Lexa was early. Way too early. And the worst things was that she didn’t even realize it until she got in front of Clarke’s building. There was more than half an hour till the time that she was supposed to be there. She blamed it on her nerves. And Anya. 

She spent the whole day trying to not think about it all the while thinking just and only about it. It was a date and Anya made sure that Lexa was painfully aware of it. 

“You’ve been on a lot of dates Lexa, this one is no different. Trust me,” Anya had said. “Even if it is Clarke and even though you think it’s more than just a date. It still only a date. The only difference is it’s with someone you actually like.”

“It’s not just that.”

“I bet she’s having the same doubts that you are.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“You’re right, she’s probably freaking out about you not showing up.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Your track record has been shit. I can only imagine what’s going through her head right now.”

“I’m just… I’m feeling…,” Lexa didn’t know how to put it to words. She didn’t know how to feel about all of it. She knew what she felt she just didn’t know if it was what she was supposed to feel. It was confusing and even more so when she tried to explain it to Anya.

“It’s really simple,” Anya said. “You like her and it’s making you feel a lot of things all at once and that’s perfectly normal and expected and okay. You just have to make sure she knows that.”

It wasn’t just a date Lexa reminded herself as she stood in front of the building.

It was a date with Clarke and even though it was just a date it was also so much more. She had hopes, sure, the ones she could admit to only herself and those she could just dream about. Dreams like the one she had the night before. Dreams about Clarke that made her take long cold showers when she woke up. But those were the good ones. The really not so good ones were those she had while she was awake of Clarke bent over different surfaces. And that damn desk. 

She shook her head and after twenty minutes of waiting for time to pass, Lexa decided to go upstairs and be early. It was better than to die there waiting.

She knocked on the door and waited for Clarke to open.

“You are early,” Clarke had a big smile on her face when she opened the door. “Very on brand,” she stepped aside and let Lexa get in.

“Can’t help it,” Lexa said. “This is for you,” she gave Clarke the bottle of red wine she got on her way there. She thought about flowers but decided it would be too much. Clarke was wearing a black skirt and blue shirt. Lexa thought she looked amazing.

Clarke smiled, “Thank you. Even though I don’t know what kind of message are you trying to send me with this.”

“Umm… just that I…”

“I’m kidding,” Clarke smiled. “It’s good to see you are as nervous as I am.”

“You’re nervous?,” Lexa asked.

“I was, I’m not anymore,” Clarke said. As strange as it was, Lexa had felt the same. The moment Clarke opened the door, every doubt Lexa had disappeared. She felt free.

“Nice place,” she looked around Clarke’s apartment. 

“Thank you,” Clarke said. “Do you want a glass of wine? I’m having one to help me calm down.” 

“Is it that bad?”

“I was afraid you’d run away as soon as you saw me.” 

Clarke poured wine in a glass and gave it to Lexa. “I do that only after the kiss.”

“You’re telling me I shouldn’t kiss you?” Clarke smelled like vanilla mixed with spring. Lexa’s thoughts were starting to get cloudy. 

“I’d never do that,” Lexa put her glass down on the counter. 

“I have to admit something.”

“What?”

“The reason why I was so nervous,” Clarke licked her lips. “I couldn’t stop thinking about all that,” she waved in Lexa’s direction.

“All what?,” Lexa walked closed to where Clarke was standing. “Me?”

“Your face in… different locations.”

“Locations?,” Lexa lifted her eyebrow.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t,” Lexa smiled.

“If you get closer we might not go out.”

“I also have something to admit,” Lexa said, standing not even a feet away from Clarke.

“What?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about your face either.” Lexa thought she could control herself but with every second Clarke spent that close to her, she was less and less certain of it. Until she completely gave up. She saw the smile on Clarke’s lips and leaned closer, mouth hovering just over Clarke’s, far enough to not touch but close enough to almost feel the electricity buzzing between them and spreading through her whole body. When she felt Clarke’s uneven breathing on her lips, Lexa put her hand on the side of Clarke’s shoulder and pressed their lips together. 

The kiss was soft and gentle and nothing like the previous ones. Clarke wrapped her hands around Lexa’s neck and pulled her closer. It was the first time Lexa’s whole body was pressed against Clarke’s. She wasn’t able to tell her heartbeats from Clarke’s. And when Clarke ran her tongue over Lexa’s lips and sent a shock wave down Lexa’s body, a tiny whimper slipped her mouth. 

Clarke’s hands went down Lexa’s back and tugged down hard at her shirt when Lexa’s mouth slid over Clarke’s jaw down to her neck. 

“Don’t you dare stop,” Clarke whispered out of breath. Lexa grazed her teeth over her skin. “You find that funny?”

Lexa lifted Clarke off the floor to the table. She put her hands Clarke’s hips. “You are talking too much Clarke.”

“Am I?,” Clarke wrapped her legs around Lexa and pulled her close. Her fingers trailed the way down Lexa’s cheeks and lips to her neck. Clarke pressed her mouth against Lexa’s. It was soft for a moment, before she pulled Lexa’s lower lip between her teeth. Lexa dug her fingers into Clarke’s thigh. She wanted to feel Clarke’s skin on her own more than anything in the world in that moment.

“Yes,” Lexa’s breathing was ragged and she was doing everything in her power to hold the last ounce of control she had.

“Then you should shut me up,” Clarke’s tongue slid across the already bruised lip.

“I like when you’re bossy.”

“I know you do,” Clarke smirked. 

Lexa took the smallest step back and put her hands on Clarke’s knees, just under her skirt. 

“You’re on a desk,” Lexa’s hands went a bit higher up on Clarke’s thighs and Clarke pushed her legs apart just a bit more.

“It’s more of a table,” Clarke’s voice was getting lower and raspier every time Lexa dragged her hands higher.

“Still,” Lexa 

“Is it everything you imagined it to be?,” Clarke’s forehead fell on Lexa’s when her thumbs started to go in circles on Clarke’s inner thigh.

“I think you’re in no position to make fun of me, Clarke,” Lexa dug her fingers in Clarke’s legs and got a moan in response. “But it’s not what I had in mind.”

“What did you have in mind?,” Clarke pulled back and looked at her.

Lexa had a hundred and one thing she wanted to do in that moment, she opted for the one that she knew would bring her the most of Clarke. She looked down at Clarke’s shirt, still buttoned all the way up. “You laying on your desk, leaned on your hands,” Lexa pushed her hands up until she felt soft fabric under her fingers. Clarke shivered. “Your shirt halfway unbuttoned.” 

Clarke brought her hands to her shirt and started to undo the buttons, “Like this?,” she asked.

Lexa followed Clarke’s fingers as hypnotized. First she saw skin, more than ever before. She felt blood rushing to her head and she knew she lost any and all control. When she saw black lace under Clarke’s shirt she knew she never  _ had  _ any control. 

“Yes,” she managed to say.

“What did I have under the shirt?” 

“Nothing.”

“Do you wanna take it off?,” Clarke lifted her brow. Lexa’s mouth was too dry to talk, so she just nodded. “Do it then,” Clarke said. Lexa brought her hands from under Clarke’s skirt to her sides and sneaked them under Clarke’s shirt as if she was doing something no one could know of. Clarke sat up to make at least something easier for Lexa. Clarke was soft, softer than Lexa ever imagined her to be and the butterflies fluttering in her stomach were of no help at all. “Don’t lose all your game now, you’re doing great,” Clarke whispered in Lexa’s ear when it took her just a second too long to unclasp Clarke’s bra.

“Shut up.” 

Clarke smiled and leaned back on her hands. “Take it off then.” The bra was strapless, Lexa realized, and all she had to do now was pull it off and she’d have Clarke half naked laying under her. She hooked her finger under the bra, between the cups and took it off. Lexa had to remind herself to breathe.

“You are so beautiful,” Lexa kissed her again, this time more intensely, she moved her lips down Clarke’s chin and neck, “and so fucking hot.”

“What else did you have in mind?,” Clarke pushed Lexa’s chin up to look her in the eyes.

“Your legs spread open and my fingers buried deep inside you.” 

“What are you waiting for?,” Clarke’s voice was filled with desire and it was all Lexa needed to stop thinking. She pushed Clarke’s legs apart and dragged her mouth, her teeth over Clarke’s chest to her nipple and brushed the other with her thumb. “Yes,” Clarke whispered. Lexa rolled one nipple between her fingers and wrapped her mouth around the other. That was the first time Clarke pushed her hips up searching for Lexa’s body. Lexa flicked her tongue over the nipple that was just in her mouth and then kissed the path across to the other. She teased, circling around it, until she heard a string of curses come from Clarke. “Lexa,” it was a warning and a plea at the same time.

Lexa’s hand went down between their bodies, to Clarke’s thigh and finally between her legs. “Jesus, Clarke.” Clarke was wet, really really wet.

“It’s your fault,” she moaned when Lexa’s fingers went up and down over her panties. “Just touch me already,” she said. 

“Here?,” Lexa pressed her thumb on Clarke’s clit.

“Fuck me,” Clarke laid back on the table and gripped the edge of it with her hand.

Lexa dragged her other hand down Clarke’s body, tucked it under Clarke’s skirt and pulled the panties down her legs. “I will,” she ran her fingers through Clarke’s wet folds. She lowered her head over Clarke’s breasts and pulled her nipple between her lips as she pushed a finger inside her. 

“Fuck,” Clarke cried out in pleasure. Lexa started to pump inside her all the while rubbing Clarke’s clit with her thumb. Clarke tangled her hands in Lexa’s hair, “More,” she asked. 

When Lexa added another finger Clarke pulled her up. “Just like that,” she nibbled on Lexa’s lip almost drawing blood. Lexa deepened the pressure on her clit and with her fingers pumping inside her, it didn’t take long for Clarke to crumble in Lexa’s arms. She placed soft kisses on Clarke’s chest and stomach as she came down from her high.

“That was…,” Clarke’s words got lost somewhere in the air, among the heavy breaths and heart beats. Lexa’s fingers were still inside her, her thumb pressed softly over Clarke’s clit. Lexa could tell Clarke loved it from the way she rolled her hips to the way her chest rose up and went down every time Lexa moved her fingers. 

“Not bad,” Lexa murmured between kisses she gently pressed on Clarke’s neck. “For a first date,” she smiled. She pulled Clarke’s earlobe between her teeth and pulled her fingers out of her. Clarke groaned in displeasure, obviously not happy with what Lexa had done. “You didn’t like that?,” Lexa asked. “Want them back?,” she nibbled Clarke’s ear.

“You’re mean.” 

“Just ask.”

“Wouldn’t you like that,” Clarke pulled Lexa’s head to the side and smiled when Lexa kissed her. “And this is the beginning of a date.” Clarke sat up. She wrapped her legs around Lexa’s back and her hands around Lexa’s neck.

“Oh, you have plans?,” Lexa’s heart was racing.

“So many,” Clarke pulled Lexa’s shirt over her head and unbuttoned her pants, but didn’t pull them down. “It’s gonna be an amazing first date, I can tell you that much.”

“Is it?”

“Oh yes,” Clarke pushed Lexa a bit and got off the table. She put her hands on Lexa’s hips and pushed her to walk. 

“We’re gonna fall Clarke,” Lexa couldn’t see where she was going or what was behind her, or anything for that matter, other than Clarke. And if she was being honest she didn’t care about anything that wasn’t Clarke. 

“Trust me,” Clarke smiled before kissing her. Heat. Lexa felt heat, then fire. She reached behind Clarke’s back and to her ass and pulled her closer. But then, a second later, she felt her legs bump into something. She lost balance and fell back pulling Clarke with her. She landed on something soft and Clarke was on top of her laughing.

“I hate to tell you I told you so,” Lexa laughed. “But I told you so.”

“This is not that bad,” Clarke smirked as she sat up and straddled Lexa. They were on the couch and Lexa couldn’t even pretend she didn’t like the position she was in. Clarke’s kisses were slow, deliberately slow, it felt like she was on a mission and she was going to enjoy in every second of it. Lexa felt the heat build up higher every time Clarke rolled her hips. 

She felt Clarke’s hands drop down from her neck, over her shoulders to her wrists. Every part of her skin that Clarke touched felt like it was on fire. But then Clarke pulled her hands above her head and held them tightly in place. She started to kiss down Lexa’s jaw and her neck, sucking and then soothing it over with her tongue. One of Clarke’s hands was still holding onto her own but the other traveled down Lexa’s body and cupped her breast. Clarke’s mouth doing unholy things to her neck and Clarke’s hand exploring her body made it almost unbearable for Lexa. She bucked her hips up as a way of asking Clarke for more, but was met only with another roll of Clarke’s hips, pushing her down into the sofa. 

She took advantage of Clarke being distracted to bring her hands back on her hips. Lexa sat up and pushed Clarke with her. 

“You’re not the one in charge here,” Clarke said.

“Is that so?,” Lexa sneaked her hands under Clarke’s shirt. 

“Yes,” Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s chest and pushed her back down. “So be good,” she bit her lip.

“Or what?,” seeing Clarke’s chest covered in red bruises sent a bolt through Lexa’s body.

“Or I won’t be,” Clarke said. She started to unbutton the rest of her shirt. If you asked Lexa, Clarke was doing it excruciatingly slow. When she finally dropped it to the floor Lexa put her hand around Clarke’s neck and pulled her down. 

“Do you know how good you look?,” Lexa said.

“No,” Clarke pushed herself up a bit and leaned on her hands.

“It’s like having dessert for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

Clarke chuckled, “You’re lucky I’m already naked.” Clarke slid her hands down Lexa’s body and touched her breasts. With her thumbs she teased her nipples and rubbed them firmly. “Lift your back,” Clarke traced her fingers over Lexa’s sides to her back and unclasped her bra. She pulled it and tossed it to the side. She kissed above and around Lexa’s nipples. If her intention was to drive Lexa mad then she was succeeding in it. 

“Clarke,” Lexa pleaded. Clarke licked one of her nipples. “Fuck.” 

“Your skin tastes so sweet,” Clarke circled the nipple with her tongue and sucked it in her mouth. Lexa whimpered and dug her nails into Clarke’s back. “You like that?,” Clarke asked before doing the same thing to the other nipple. She continued kissing Lexa’s body, teasing her, tracing the path down Lexa’s stomach with her tongue. She slowly dragged it around Lexa’s belly button. “You’ll have to use your words this time,” Clarke’s breath was cold against fire that was burning all over Lexa’s body. 

“I like it yes.” Clarke dipped the tip of her tongue just under Lexa’s pants. “Please Clarke.”

“What?,” Clarke looked up at her.

“Take it off.” As soon as she said it, Clarke pulled her pants off and left her in just panties. Her hand rubbed Lexa’s thigh as she settled between her legs. Clarke pushed Lexa’s legs apart and started to kiss down from her knee, over her thigh to the crease of her leg over her panties and then back up the other leg. “Please Clarke.” 

“You want me here?,” Clarke slid her finger down the wet panties. Lexa moaned and pushed her hips up into Clarke’s touch.

“Please.” 

Clarke licked her through the fabric first. One long and hard lick up and then down. She then took off the panties and pushed Lexa’s legs further apart. She brushed her fingers through Lexa’s wet fold before running her tongue through it. 

“Put your legs on my shoulders.” 

Lexa put her legs on Clarke’s shoulders and crossed her ankles on Clarke’s back. Clarke dipped her tongue back into Lexa’s wetness, the confident rolls of it sent waves of current through Lexa’s body. 

Clarke’s hands went from Lexa’s thighs and hips higher to her breasts. As her tongue flicked over Lexa’s clit so did her fingers over Lexa’s nipples. 

“Oh God,” Lexa tangled her hands in Clarke’s hand and pushed her hips up. “Don’t stop, please.” 

And Clarke didn’t. Her mouth sucked lightly on Lexa’s clit while her tongue went over it and around it, then down through her slit and back up again. Sometime around the fourth time Clarke did it, Lexa came with Clarke’s name on her lips. 

Clarke’s head was between her legs long after Lexa’s breathing evened out. When her legs were no longer on Clarke’s shoulders, Clarke kissed her way up to her face.

“Hi,” she smiled.

“Hi,” Lexa said.

“That was…”

“Not bad for the first date.” 

“Really fun is what I was going to say,” Clarke smiled. 

“Mhm,” Lexa closed her eyes and dragged her fingers gently through Clarke’s hair.

“I think this could be my favorite Lexa.”

“Your favorite Lexa? Do you have a list?,” Lexa asked.

“I’m in the process of making one yes.”

“What other Lexas are there?”

“Angry Lexa, bad Lexa, really angry Lexa, sexy Lexa, post sex Lexa.”

“Your list is not very long.”

“It takes time.”

“To make a list?”

“What are we even talking about?,” Clarke chuckled.

“I honestly don’t know,” Lexa laughed.

“I have more plans,” Clarke whispered.

“Really?,” Lexa smiled.

“Really really.” 

“Wanna share.” 

“I wanna show you my bed.”

“Is it a good bed?”

“It’s a really really really good bed,” Clarke said. “You’re gonna love it.”

“What else do you wanna show me?”

“All the things I can do with my fingers,” Clarke smirked.

“Let’s go to bed.”

They spent the rest of the date memorizing their bodies. They fell asleep only a couple of hours before sun got out. Lexa couldn’t remember the last time she felt that free.


	10. Chapter 10

“I know you’re awake.”

“No, you just assume.”

“You are…,” Clarke turned around and smiled and in that moment Lexa was sure she forgot about everything and everyone. Nothing existed, just Clarke. She felt her heart beat harder and she couldn’t hide the smile on her face. Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s cheek and brushed their noses together. Lexa closed her eyes, “Hi,” she said.

“I’m hi?”

“You are…,” Lexa opened her eyes, “awake.”

“Does that make you happy?,” Clarke smiled.

Lexa decided to ignore the questions. Instead she kissed the tip of Clarke’s nose, then the corner of her mouth, then her chin. “Why does this not feel weird?”

“Why are you asking me all these questions?,” Clarke giggled.

“Why are you not answering them?”

“I prefer to do other things when I’m barely awake.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Cuddle,” Clarke put her head under Lexa’s chin and wrapped her hand around Lexa’s body. 

Lexa felt warm. Not ‘covered in blankets on a cold winter night’ warm but different kind of warm. The one that spreads from your chest to your stomach and limbs. The one that seeps into every pore of your being and makes you forget about everything that might have bothered you just a moment ago. The warm that heals and sets free. “You do that often?,” she asked, scared to say more.

“Every morning.”

“Who’s so lucky?”

“That pillow under your head,” Clarke’s hand drew circles on Lexa’s back. “Her name is Susan.”

“There so much to process there,” Lexa laughed. “First, it’s a she?”

“Of course it is. She’s soft and smells nice.”

“Smells like you,” Lexa said. 

“Yes, like I said, nice.”

Lexa chuckled. “Second of all, Susan?”

“What do you have against Susans?”

“Nothing, it’s a nice name, just a bit odd.”

“Susan is amazing,” Clarke said. “But I think she falls short compared to…”

“Me?,” Lexa said before Clarke could finish.

“I hate to admit it but you smell much better and are much softer.”

“I’m not soft,” Lexa dragged her fingers up and down Clarke’s back.

“Of course you are,” Clarke chuckled. “And you have one more advantage over Susan.”

“Just one?” 

“Don’t be greedy, Susan got me through some rough stuff.”

“I’m sorry Susan, I mean no disrespect.”

“You better.”

“So what is it then?,” Lexa said. 

“I can hear your breath hitch and feel your heart beat really fast when I’m close.”

“That’s allergies.”

“Allergies?,” Clarke laughed. “To what? Me?”

“Maybe.”

Clarke pushed Lexa’s shoulder back against the bed and got on top of her. “How does your allergy manifest?,” Clarke said. “Inability to look me in the eyes?,” she asked when Lexa’s eyes drifted lower.

“Sometimes, yes,” Lexa smiled.

“And other times?”

“Come closer, it’s a secret,” Lexa whispered.

Clarke leaned closer to her, but before Lexa could say or do anything else, Clarke peppered her face with kisses. “Tricked you,” she whispered. “I’m starting to realize something,” she pushed herself back up a bit.

“What?,” Lexa’s hands went up and down Clarke’s thighs.

“I like when you look at me.”

“You like when I look at you?”

“Yes, when you watch me,” Clarke rolled her hips.

“Don’t you dare,” Lexa’s hands stilled her.

“Or what?,” Clarke smirked. She dragged her hand from Lexa’s neck down between their bodies. “It’s not like you wouldn’t enjoy it.”

“Clarke,” Lexa grabbed her hand and rolled them over, now she was on top of Clarke. 

“Are you just going to look at me?,” Clarke asked after Lexa didn’t do or say anything for a while.

“I thought you liked it,” Lexa smiled.

“Shut up,” Clarke pulled her and kissed her.

“I wanna… Can I?,” Lexa asked with her eyes going down Clarke’s body.

“You have me naked telling you to shut up, you don’t have to ask,” Clarke bit her lip. “But it’s sweet that you did.”

“That’s not what I was going for,” Lexa chuckled.

“What? Sweet?,” Clarke asked. “Nothing wrong with that,” she smiled. “You were sweet last night, or this morning. Both.” Lexa blushed when she heard Clarke say it. “You can be sweet and fuck me at the same time.”

Lexa kissed her to shut her up and then backed away. She dragged her fingers down Clarke’s neck, her collarbone, between her breasts and then back up. She saw goosebumps on Clarke’s skin. “Do you…,” Lexa started but got distracted with the way Clarke squirmed under her touch. She circled her finger around Clarke’s nipples. “Do you prefer sweet or not so sweet?,” she pinched the nipple when she said the last part of the sentence. 

“What do you think?,” she said after Lexa got back to being soft.

“It looked to me like you either like both or are really good at acting,” Lexa smiled.

“I’m really bad at that,” Clarke said. Lexa’s fingers went down Clarke’s stomach. “Like really bad,” she pushed her hips up. Lexa pushed herself on her knees and leaned on her free arm to hover above Clarke. Her finger slid all the way down Clarke’s slit. “And you’re really good at that,” Clarke closed her eyes. She gasped when the finger slid inside her and started to slowly move. 

“Really?” Lexa kissed her bruises filled neck. “I’d never guess,” she smiled. 

“You are… fuck,” finger turned into two and Clarke bucked her hips up, begging without saying anything.

“You like that?,” Lexa whispered in her ear. Fingers pumped inside Clarke and the palm of Lexa’s hand brushed over her clit, occasionally and not hard enough. Lexa knew and she could see it was driving Clarke crazy. If not from the way her hips bucked up, then from the way she whimpered every time her palm did press against Clarke’s clit. “You feel so good.” 

“Lexa please.”

Lexa brought her face in front of Clarke’s. “This?,” she asked as she pressed the palm of her hand over Clarke’s clit and started to rub it.

“Yes,” Clarke was desperate and Lexa couldn’t help but smile. She pressed her mouth against Clarke’s and sneaked her tongue into her mouth. 

Clarke’s one hand was gripping the sheets and the other was digging into Lexa’s back. It was all too much and soon Lexa felt her tighten around her fingers. 

“Okay?,” Lexa asked after Clarke opened her eyes.

Clarke smiled, she cupped Lexa’s face with the hand that was gripping the sheets a minute ago, “See? So sweet,” she said.

“It seems like I can’t help it.”

“Hmm sweet Lexa, going up high on my list.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Only after sex.”

“Sure,” Lexa kissed her again.

* * *

Clarke couldn’t stop staring. It was a couple of hours after they woke up and all Clarke could think of is the way Lexa’s skin felt on her own. They’ve spent all night, and a big portion of the day, laying in her bed, tangled in each other, doing nothing or almost nothing. The strangest part was that they didn’t even talk that much. It was just Lexa’s hand on Clarke’s leg, or Clarke’s hand on Lexa’s back, or Lexa’s lips on her own. It was different and new and surprisingly not scary.

Clarke even allowed herself to have hope. Hope that Lexa won’t get up and leave when she realizes where she is. At least not anytime in the near future.

“We should probably get out of the bed,” Lexa said.

“Why?”

“For one we need to eat something.”

“And two?” 

“Don’t be a smartass.”

“That might be asking too much,” Clarke smiled. “What do you wanna do?,” she asked after a couple of seconds. “Or you want to leave, I don’t want to assume that you want to stay just because…”

“We could go out for lunch, since we didn’t go for dinner last night,” Lexa said and shut down every bad thought that could had started to form in Clarke’s brain. “I owe you a meal.”

“I won’t argue with that.” Clarke rolled to the other side of the bed, sat up and put a shirt on. She picked the shorts from the floor and pulled them up her legs. “Where’s your clothes?,” she turned around and looked at Lexa.

“God knows,” Lexa chuckled. “Scattered all around.” In the meantime Clarke got up from the bed and found a shirt for Lexa. She threw it to her. 

“For you so you don’t walk naked around the place,” she said. “Do you want coffee?”

“Do you have it?,” Lexa quickly put on the shirt Clarke gave her and got up. “What?,” she asked when she saw Clarke smiling at her.

“You look really nice,” Clarke walked up to her and wrapped her hands around Lexa’s neck. “Really really nice.” 

Lexa lowered her hands down Clarke’s back and grabbed her ass. “You feel really nice,” she said.

“Do I?”

“Oh yeah, really nice,” Lexa smiled.

Clarke smirked, pecked Lexa’s cheek and walked away. “Go find your clothes,” she said before she closed the bathroom door. She leaned her back on the wall opposite the sink and closed her eyes to just breathe. The past 12 hours had been more than she ever hoped. Lexa was something Clarke never even dared to dream of. It was so much more. And it had only been 12 hours. 

Clarke quickly brushed her teeth and got out of the bathroom. She found Lexa sitting on the bed in jeans and bra. Clarke leaned on the door frame and watched Lexa, type on her phone away in her world. After a minute Lexa looked up and smiled when she saw Clarke.  “Hi,” she said.

“Don’t let me interrupt you,” Clarke smiled.

“In what?,” Lexa got up and started to walk towards Clarke.

“Typing,” Clarke looked down counting red marks on Lexa’s body. 

“Do you like what you’ve done?,” Lexa asked her.

“I do,” Clarke bit her lip. “At least you don’t have any in visible place,” she said. “Not something I can say for myself.”

“You don’t like it?,” Lexa put her hands on Clarke’s hips and kissed Clarke’s neck. “I think it’s quite nice,” she said.

“You’re not the one that has to cover it.”

“Let it show.”

“And answer hundreds of questions?”

“Be mysterious,” Lexa smiled. “Tell them you got it in your sleep.”

“I’m sure that would work.”

“You don’t know until you try,” Lexa said.

Clarke chuckled, “You never said if you wanted coffee.”

“You never said if you really have it.” Clarke lifted her brow and Lexa started to laugh. “What? It’s a valid question.”

“I do have coffee.”

“Then I will have one cup of black coffee, thank you,” Lexa smiled.

“What do you wanna eat?,” Clarke said still not leaving Lexa’s arms.

“Italian?”

“Are you asking or saying?”

“A bit of both.”

“Italian is good,” Clarke said. “There’s a not so bad place a couple of blocks away.”

“Perfect.”

“Coffee first, though.”

“Always,” Lexa smiled.

* * *

“So,” Clarke leaned over the table.

“So,” Lexa smiled at her.

“Where do we go from here?”

“What do you mean?,” Lexa furrowed her brows.

“We work together.”

“We do, yes. And?,” she still looked as confused. 

“How do we do that?,” Clarke said. “I mean, of course, if you want this to happen again or more often. If not then just forget about that,” Clarke could feel herself spiraling away and out of control, her thoughts running all over the place and the calm that she felt when they were in her apartment was drifting away.

“I wanna get to know you and do this again and more often. The other things also,” Lexa smiled and Clarke could breathe again, even if it meant only for a moment. 

Clarke smiled, “Okay, then what do we do?”

“I really don’t know. What can we do?”

“We can do a lot of things,” Clarke leaned back in her chair. “We can pretend or make it official with HR but that probably means getting ahead of ourselves and everything, let’s forget I said that,” she said. “What we won’t do for sure is make our business everyone else’s.”

“I couldn’t agree more, with the last part,” Lexa smiled. “I don’t think we need to pretend or tell the HR about it though.”

“Maybe, I guess it all depends on what you’re going to do about Marcus.”

“What can I do?,” Lexa frowned. 

“We both know what you can do so don’t play dumb with me, it doesn’t suit you.”

“I honestly don’t know, I haven’t really had a chance to really think about everything that happened and everything that could happen,” Lexa said. “What would you do?”

“I’d leave.”

“Against your mother’s wishes?,” Lexa teased.

Clarke rolled her eyes and shook her head. “That also doesn’t suit you.”

“But it’s the truth.”

“In a perfect world I’d leave.”

“In a perfect world you’d never get to be in the situation where you’d have to leave.”

“In a perfect world I’d do something entirely different.”

“Really?,” Lexa sounded surprised. “What would you do?”

“I’d have an art gallery and paint in free time.”

“And live in one bedroom apartment with hundred windows and no curtains and floor bed and hardwood floors.”

“And don’t forget about that hot woman in my floor bed,” Clarke chuckled. 

“I saw some paintings scattered around your apartment. Your work?,” Lexa asked.

“Yes,” Clarke smiled. “Just something I do when I need to shut off the bad parts of my brain. It helps.”

“They are really good. That’s what you’d do in a perfect world?”

“I guess so,” Clarke said. “My dad bought me my first sketchbook and told me to put there everything I didn’t have the words for,” she added after a short pause. “It’s been a way of escaping for a long time. I don’t know what he’d say about my career choice.”

“I’m sure he’d be very proud of what you’ve accomplished, no matter the career,” Lexa smiled. “And I think you should do something about it.”

“Buy an art gallery and move to my one bedroom apartment?,” Clarke lifted her brow.

“Maybe,” Lexa laughed, “but also just spend more time doing that and less time cleaning after Marcus.”

“In a perfect world,” Clarke sighed. “What would you do?”

“What Marcus is doing.”

“What’s stopping you from doing that now?”

“Life.”

“That’s kinda not acceptable. Don’t you think?”

“What’s stopping you?”

“Who says I gave up on it?”

“Who says I have?”

“I don’t think he’ll ever give you that,” Clarke said after a long moment of silence.

“That’s harsh,” Lexa crossed her hands.

“It’s an honest answer.”

“It’s not easy to leave everything and everyone behind.”

“It’s not easy to walk up the river.”

“It’s not that,” Lexa shook her head. 

“I think it is,” Clarke said. “Even though you are a lot of things, you seem to think that leaving means quitting. And that’s not how it works.”

“What am I supposed to do? My life turned from bright future to chasing your tail in less than a year.”

Clarke sighed. “You’re not chasing me, don’t put me between you and what you want. It’s not my fault.”

“It’s not, yes I know and agree, but you are there, between me and what I want. No matter how bad you don’t want that. Doesn’t mean it’s not happening.”

“Why do you think you’d have what you want if it weren’t for me?”

“Because I was on the road to get there.”

“No, you thought you were getting there, and you blindly believed that other people will be as honest as you are.”

“Don’t think that just because we had sex you can…”

“What? Not tap you on the back and tell you to just wait and that universe will align with your thoughts and wishes?”

“It’s not fair.”

“I agree but what do you expect to happen? Do you want me to quit?”, Clarke bit her lip. Lexa didn’t look happy with where the conversation had gone, but it was a perfect chance for Clarke to say it all. “But even then I don’t think he’d give it to you because you represent everything that he’s scared of,” she said. “Imagine headlines ‘Lexa Woods brings Arkadia to new heights. Marcus Kane who?’. With you far from the top but high enough to make a difference he makes it possible for his name to be at the top of it all. He’s not a bad person, he just doesn’t want to be second best.”

“It would be good for you if I take myself out of the equation, wouldn’t it?.” There was a discrepancy between Lexa’s words and the way she said them.

“I honestly don’t enjoy in all this or take pleasure in seeing you go through all that.”

Lexa looked to the side, then back to Clarke. There was no sign of her being angry. “It’s not like you’re going to run in to ground,” she said.

“I won’t, but I won’t make it as good as you’d make it,” a small smile appeared on Clarke’s lips. It was different seeing and talking to Lexa like that. “Because I don’t love it as much as you do.”

Lexa was quiet for a long time. “Let’s change the subject,” she sighed.

“Let’s,” Clarke said. “Don’t be mad at me now.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“I just feel like you need someone to tell you that you deserve more than he’s ever going to give you. And that it’s totally okay if you’re fine with that,” Clarke said.

“I don’t need your approval, Clarke.”

“There’s no need to get defensive Lexa,” Clarke reached over the table and put her hand on top of Lexa’s. “I’m just telling you this as a friend, or something like that. You don’t need to listen to anything or anyone, just yourself.”

“I think we should get back to lighter topics,” Lexa lowered her head. She looked at Clarke’s hand. 

“Do you wanna know a secret?,” Clarke leaned over the table and whispered with a smile on her face.

“I do,” Lexa said.

“I’ve been going home from work, mad at you and drawing a woman with warpaint on her face. I realized last night that it was you.”

“You’ve been drawing me?,” Lexa asked.

“It’s really telling that that’s what you got from that,” Clarke smiled. “But you could say that, yes.”

“Can I see it?” 

“You can,” Clarke said.

“You do know what that means, right?”

“What?”

“You’re softer than I am,” Lexa smiled and kissed Clarke’s hand. 

* * *

“Good morning ladies,” Gustus smiled when he saw both Clarke and Lexa in front of him. “This is a first,” he said.

“Good morning,” Lexa was the first to say.

“You’re late,” he said.

“We’re not… I’m not,” Lexa quickly added.

“I think he means we are not early,” Clarke said.

“You’re an hour late,” he looked at his watch and then smiled. “That’s also a first.”

“See you later Gustus,” Lexa smiled and walked inside. Clarke followed her. 

“You could be less obvious, you know,” Clarke said while they were waiting for the elevator.

“What do you mean?,” Lexa looked at her.

“You don’t look like you can’t stand me anymore,” Clarke smirked.

“That’s so last week,” Lexa smiled.

The elevator door opened and they walked in. Lexa pressed the floor number and the door closed.

“I missed you,” Clarke intertwined their fingers and leaned to kiss Lexa’s cheek. 

“You saw me two hours ago,” Lexa looked at the numbers above the door. They were halfway there. “And I thought we said we won’t make our business anyone else’s?”

“We won’t,” Clarke said. “Kiss me,” she whispered.

“We are almost there,” Lexa turned her head to Clarke.

“Quickly then,” Clarke smiled. She got her kiss and when the door opened they were standing a feet away from one another. They walked side by side to their offices and no one bothered to look at them. “See you later,” Clarke whispered when Lexa opened the door of her office.

They both were swamped with work and weren’t able to see each other until the meeting with Marcus and Becca. 

The meeting was in Marcus’ office. Clarke got there first.

“What do you think about all this?,” Marcus asked her.

“About what? Becca? I think it would be great for everyone if she agreed to work with us.”

“No, not that, about Lexa.”

“What about Lexa?,” Clarke frowned. She didn’t have a good feeling about where the conversation could go.

“She doesn’t seem really happy to be working with you.”

“I don’t think that’s the case,” Clarke said. “We work good together.”

“That’s not what I heard.”

“What did you hear?”

“That Lexa is not and hasn’t been happy that you are around.”

“Who told you that?”

“That’s not important,” he said.

“It is because  _ I  _ don’t want to work with someone who runs to the boss with things like that.”

“I have to have a way of knowing what’s going on in the company.”

“And you do that with spies?”

“Clarke, let’s not do that now.”

“Well your spy has wrong information. Sure things were rocky but they’re not anymore and it sure wasn’t Lexa’s fault.”

“So it was yours?”

“No.”

That’s when the door opened and Lexa walked in with Becca behind her. Clarke and Marcus got up.

“Hello Becca, it’s a pleasure,” he said.

“Hi,” Becca said. “Hi Clarke,” she smiled at her.

“Do you want something to drink? Coffee? Water?,” he asked.

“No, I’m fine thank you,” Becca said.

“Please sit down,” Marcus showed them at the chairs around big desk in the corner of his office.

“What’s wrong?,” Lexa whispered to Clarke. “You look…”

“It’s nothing,” Clarke interrupted her. 

They sat around the desk, Marcus on one side, Clarke on the other and Becca next to Lexa.

“Clarke and Lexa have told me great things about you and I hope that all this ends with us working together, I think everyone would benefit from that.”

“Well I’ve heard only great things about Lexa and I’d sure love to work with her,” Becca said and then quickly added “and everyone else of course.”

“That’s great,” Marcus smiled. “Of course you’d have a complete freedom about where you want to go and in what direction,” he said, “and Clarke would be there to help lead you to making the decisions that you’d benefit the most from.”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the room after Marcus stopped talking. Becca was looking at Lexa and Lexa was looking at Marcus.

“I thought Lexa would be the one to do that,” Becca said after a while.

“In a way yes but Clarke would be the one to overlook and guide in a way.”

“That’s not what I… that’s…,” Becca looked like she didn’t know what to say. And just when Clarke was about to say something, Lexa beat her to it.

“But that’s just a suggestion, right?,” she said looking at Marcus.

“That’s the path we are about to take.”

Lexa was far from happy and even further from calm. Clarke saw a glimpse of Lexa that she saw when she stepped between her and Ontari. “I don’t think this is the time to make those types of decisions,” Clarke said.

“I agree, and the decisions has been made a long time ago.”

“Just because you…”

“I think what Lexa was going to say is that this is something we all are yet to discuss and it’s just a suggestion,” Clarke said. “Of course you are and would be the priority and we wouldn’t do something against your wishes,” she said to Becca.

“I understand that but this is news to me,” she said. “I mean I have nothing against you Clarke, I’m sure you are great at your job and you’d do amazing,” she turned to Marcus, “but it’s just that I was under the impression that Lexa would be the one to do all that. At least in my case.”

“If that’s what Lexa had told you then I’m sorry,” Marcus said.

“She didn’t, that’s what I heard, from friends and people who have worked with her. I don’t want an executive, I want Lexa.”

“I think we all should take some time to think this through,” Marcus said.

“Sure, but if your decision won’t change then I’m sorry to say but I don’t think there’s much to think about.”

“Let’s take a break and meet again in a week. Is that okay with you?,” Marcus got up.

“I guess so yes.”

“Then we can continue this in a week and see how and what we all have concluded.”

“It was nice to meet you,” Becca said.

The three of them left Marcus’ office. “That was…,” Clarke didn’t have a word for it.

“I’m sorry if I offended you in any way Clarke, I don’t have anything against you and you seem like a great person and really good at your job, but I just…”

“No offence taken, I’d do the same if I were you.”

“I’m sorry about this,” Lexa said. “I didn’t think it would go this way.”

“It’s alright, it’s not really your fault, I can see you are not happy with what happened in there,” Becca smiled softly.

“I’m really sorry,” Lexa sighed. “I’ll call you in a couple of days when we sort this thing out, just please don’t run to someone else,” she said.

“I can wait,” Becca smiled. “It was nice to see you again Clarke, and once again I’m sorry if I said something.”

“You’re fine,” Clarke smiled. “It was nice to see you too.” 

“I’m looking forward to hearing from you,” she said to Lexa before she left.

“Calm down,” Clarke said when the two of them were alone.

“Calm down?” 

“Yes, or you’ll do something stupid.”

“I won’t do something stupid Clarke.”

“Just calm down, okay?,” Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s back. “Just calm down.”

“That’s easy to say.”

“I know.”

“I need to get out of here,” Lexa said.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, thank you.”

* * *

“I haven’t seen you all day,” Clarke was standing in front of Lexa’s office. It was late and Lexa had got back a couple of hours ago and shut herself in her office.

“I needed some time to think,” she closed her laptop.

“Did it help?,” Clarke walked in and closed the door behind her. She walked to where Lexa was and sat on the edge of her desk. 

“Why does it feel like it’s been years since this morning?,” Lexa put her hand on Clarke’s knee and traced her fingers down to her ankle.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke tucked the loose strain of Lexa’s hair behind her ear.

“I just want it to end.”

“My mom says hi,” Clarke smiled.

“That makes it so much better,” Lexa chuckled.

“She’s not that bad,” Clarke said. “She’d beat up Marcus if she knew what he was doing,” she grinned.

“Maybe we should tell her.”

“What do you fear most in life?”

“Where did that come from?,” Lexa chuckled.

“If you saw my mom angry then you’d know the answer to that without thinking,” Clarke smiled.

“Oh so that’s why you can’t say no to her, because you’re scared.”

“Shut up,” Clarke pushed her hand off of her leg.

“Hey, don’t do that,” Lexa said. She got up and stood between Clarke’s legs. “That’s one thing that kept me going today.”

“My legs?,” Clarke lifted her brow.

“Yes,” Lexa smiled. She put her hands on Clarke’s thighs.

“Someone could walk in,” Clarke whispered.

“Is anyone even here?”

“Anya and Maya and Monty.”

“That’s a shame.”

“We should go,” Clarke said.

“And where should we go?” 

“Don’t be so full of yourself,” Clarke pushed her a bit and got up. “It doesn’t suit you.”

Lexa smiled, “We should go, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly we are close to the end of this journey and there's two ways it can go. One has a sequel coming with it. Please let me know if anyone would be interested in that!


	11. Chapter 11

Lexa’s week had been crazier than usual. Marcus was doing his best to alienate her even more from him and the company. After the meeting they had with Becca, he started to follow through with his idea of Clarke being the one overlooking everything and everyone, including Lexa.

Lexa could see it was taking the tool on Clarke and the way she acted around her.

“Clarke, I know it’s not your fault, you don’t have to be so… We are good,” Lexa told her.

“I don’t know why he’s doing it, I never asked for…”

“Clarke,” Lexa cupped Clarke’s face with her hands and kissed her.

“Someone could walk in,” Clarke whispered. It was Tuesday at 10am and the floor was packed with people. Clarke was right, anyone could walk into her office.

“I don’t care,” Lexa leaned her forehead on Clarke’s. “I need you to know that we are good and nothing he says or does can change that.”

By the time Friday came around, Lexa could feel everything and everyone slowly slipping away from her hands. Except Clarke.

“What?,” Clarke asked after Lexa spent the couple of minutes in silence just watching her and thinking about where they began, where they are and where they’re headed.

“I’m just thinking about you.”

“You’re thinking about me?”

“Yes,” Lexa smiled. “It’s been one hell of a trip to get here.”

“Against all odds,” Clarke smiled.

Lexa put their plates in the sink and walked around the kitchen counter. She kissed Clarke’s neck and hugged her from behind. “Am I a good cook?”

“No wonder she was stealing your lunch.”

“Careful Clarke. Remember the last time we talked about that,” Lexa smiled.

“That was before you saw me naked.”

“You think me seeing you naked changes something?”

“Yes, because now that you have I’m sure you’d like to do it as often as you can.”

“You’re playing dirty.”

“I’m not, but maybe later.”

“Can’t wait,” Lexa whispered.

“You look different,” Clarke smiled

“What does that mean?”

“Means you look different.”

“Compared to what?,” Lexa asked.

“To this morning.”

“Good different or bad different?,” Lexa dragged her fingers over Clarke’s bicep, down her elbow to her wrist and then back up before settling it on the back of Clarke’s neck. She leaned and pressed her lips against Clarke’s kissing her softly. 

“Different,” Clarke smiled. “I should probably go.” 

“Why?”

“It’s almost midnight and we have work tomorrow.”

“So?,” Lexa’s other hand was on Clarke’s back before grabbing her ass. “Doesn’t mean you have to go.”

“And what do you suggest I do?,” Clarke smiled.

“You should stay, my bed is really nice.”

“Is it?”

“Mhm,” Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek, “it’s big,” her jaw, “and comfortable,” then her neck, “you’ll love it, I promise,” she said.

“I should stay because your bed is nice?”

“And I’ll do nice things to you.”

“Just nice?” 

“All kind.”

“Sold,” Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s back and let her lead them to the bedroom. 

Later that night, long after Clarke fell asleep in her arms, Lexa was awake, thinking. No big decision should ever be made in a bed at 3am but Clarke’s heart was beating slowly against her hand and Lexa realized life is not waiting. It’s taking.

* * *

“Here we are again,” Marcus said when everyone sat down around the table in his office. It was the follow up meeting with Becca and everyone involved hoped that it would go better than the previous one. Everyone except maybe Marcus. “I hope you’ve had enough time to think things through and that everyone will be happy because of it,” he said to Becca.

“We’ll see,” Becca smiled before sneaking a look at Lexa who was sitting next to her. Lexa was on the edge the entire day, she was sure Marcus wasn’t going to change his mind about the situation and she knew Becca was unlikely to say yes to that. Becca was going to say no, she made it loud and clear before the meeting. 

“Our stance has not changed, if the deal goes through, Clarke will be the one in charge of working with you.”

“That’s not acceptable.”

“I’m sorry, what?,” Marcus frowned.

“I’m not ready to do that,” Becca said, “I won’t do that.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been asking around and Clarke is great with many things but not with those that I need and want. I need someone experienced, someone who’s been in this type of situation more than once and who knows what needs to be done and how to do it,” Becca looked at Clarke, “I’m sorry but I don’t think that’s you. I’m not interested to be someone’s learning project.”

“You wouldn’t be a learning project to anyone,” Marcus quickly said. “Clarke has experience with…”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you but, again, it’s going to be a waste of everyone’s time if you try to make me change my mind,” Becca said. “I’ve had enough time to think things over and I’ve decided to say no if you don’t change the conditions.”

“I don’t know what Lexa promised you and told you but…”

“She promised to take care of me on my terms.”

“It wasn’t her place to make any type of promise,” Marcus said.

“Honestly when I see the way you… speak about people working hard for you, I’m regretting ever even giving a thought to working with you,” Becca said. “And I honestly don’t know why they are putting up with you.”

“I think everyone needs to take a step back and take a moment,” Lexa turned to Becca.

“I think you should be the first one to do that,” Becca told her. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time,” she turned to Marcus, “but I’m not interested in doing business with you,” she got up. “Thank you for your time.” 

“Becca,” Clarke got up, walked out after her and left Lexa alone with Marcus.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you Lexa, but…”

“Please just shut up.”

“What did you just say to me?”

“I told you to shut up,” Lexa put her hand over her face.

“What in the world has gotten into you Lexa?”

“I opened my eyes and realized I’m done with your shit.”

“You should be careful with the way you speak to me.”

“I really shouldn’t,” Lexa got up.

“You’ll sit down or you’ll never again be given a chance to…”

“To what?”

“Be here.” 

“I’m not interested in that anymore.”

Lexa stormed out of the office and bumped into Clarke on her way out.

“Whoa, slow down,” Clarke tried to grab her hand to hold her in place but Lexa just kept walking. “Lexa.”

“I need to not be here.”

“Be where?,” Clarke walked with her. “What happened?”

“I’m done with all this,” Lexa was practically running down the stairs at that point. 

“Can you slow down and talk to me?,” Clarke was right behind her.

Lexa finally stopped when she was back in her office. “I’m done.”

Clarke walked in and closed the door behind. “What happened?,” she walked up to Lexa.

“I’m done, I don’t want this anymore.”

“You quit?”

“Maybe, I don’t know,” Lexa sighed, “but I will.”

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t want to spend another day here,” Lexa started to walk up and down her office. “I can’t do it anymore and after today I doubt he wants me here,” she said. “Fuck him and this, I don’t want it anymore.” She felt Clarke’s fingers on her hand then on her neck. She felt herself leaning into the touch.

“That’s okay, breathe,” Clarke’s fingers scratched the back of her neck and she closed her eyes. “You are okay, you’ll be okay, just breathe,” she said. “I’m here, you’re here, it’s okay.”

“I don’t want to have anything to do with him, I thought he’d change his mind and the way he…,” Lexa sighed.

“Fuck him,” Clarke whispered. 

“I’ve said things I shouldn’t have.” 

“Fuck him,” Clarke said again and smiled. “He had it coming,” she said. “You’ll be okay.”

Knock on the door made Clarke jump away from Lexa and stand next to her. A second later Marcus opened the door.

“Can we talk?,” he asked.

“There’s nothing more to say,” Lexa quickly said.

“Lexa, please.”

“I’m gonna go and let you do… whatever,” Clarke walked past Marcus and out of the office, leaving them alone, again.

“There’s really nothing I have to say to you.”

“We’ve both said things we didn’t mean…”

“You should speak for yourself and let me do the talking for me,” Lexa said. “You really don’t know what I did and didn’t mean.”

“Lexa don’t make this type of a decision on impulse, we’ve been working together for years and we’ve never had any trouble, why are you making such a big deal out of this now?”

“Please tell me you didn’t say that.”

“We’ve never had any problem, have we?”

“Have you ever thought why’s that?” 

“We work good together.”

“No, Marcus, I was just good at keeping quiet.”

“You should have come to me if you had a problem with something.”

“I did do that, don’t you remember?,” Lexa said. “Also you are my boss, you should be able to tell when and what I deserve and don’t deserve, I shouldn’t be the one to tell you that,” she added. “I’m tired of being an obedient watchdog.”

“You were never that.”

“Please let’s stop pretending,” Lexa said. “The second Clarke came you had no intention to ever follow through with any of the things you promised me.”

“Don’t make this about Clarke.”

“I’m not and I won’t, it’s about you and the way you’ve treated me ever since she came here,” Lexa said. “I’m done with that. I don’t need that in my life.”

“If you leave you’ll never get the chance you had here, no one will be as generous.”

“Thanks, but I don’t need it,” Lexa chuckled. “I’ll make my own.”

“I want your resignation on my desk by the end of the day.”

* * *

“Are you okay?,” the first thing Anya said surprised Lexa. She expected she’d be given a lecture about impulse control and respect but instead when Anya walked into her office she asked her if she was okay.

“Strangely so.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.”

“Do I have to kill him?”

Lexa chuckled, “Not yet, but thank you for offering,” Anya sat down.

“What happened?” 

“I got tired of listening to the same excuses over and over again.”

“You snapped.”

Lexa laughed, “I snapped, yes.”

“What does Clarke say about it?”

“What does she need to say?”

“She has to have an opinion.”

“Why does it matter?,” Lexa frowned. 

“Because, in a way, it concerns her too.”

Lexa shook her head. “It doesn’t. It’s not her fault.”

“I know it’s not,” Anya said. “She really has you wrapped around her fingers,” Anya laughed.

“Not the point,” Lexa rolled her eyes. “What do you think about it?”

“I think you were angry and said things I know you wouldn’t say 9 out of 10 times.”

“You think I was wrong?”

“No, I don’t think that. I think you’ve been way too patient,” Anya said. “I never said anything because it never felt like it’s my place to say something, you are you, you’ve always been you and you’ve never let anyone tell you what to do, but as time went on, you looked more and more out of it and lost and I don't even know what. It was strange to watch you do nothing about it.”

“I hoped he’d be what I thought he was.”

“What happened today?”

“I realized I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for someone to give me something,” Lexa said. “And then he ran Becca off with his ideas about where the company needs to go and what she should do and I guess I got tired of just sitting and listening.”

“Do I need to kick his ass?”

“You still work here,” Lexa smiled.

“One word from you and not anymore.”

“Don’t be crazy.”

“I’m serious,” Anya said. “What’s the plan now?”

“I don’t have one.”

“You’re kidding?”

“I’m not,” Lexa said. “I’m feeling empty. The good empty, if that makes sense.”

“It does,” Anya said. “But one word and I’m out of here, you know that, right?”

“And you know I’d never ask you to run your head through the wall because of me.”

“I’m not scared for my head with you by my side,” Anya said. “Besides this place is about to go to shit with you going away, I’m not about that life,” she smiled.

“I’ll call you as soon as I have something to offer,” Lexa said.

“Do you wanna go out today and celebrate?”

“Maybe tomorrow,” Lexa smiled. “Today I just want to breathe.”

* * *

“Before you say anything I have to apologize for the way things ended today. And the way they didn’t start, it was never my intention to waste your time. If I had known what he’d offer, I’d never ask you to come.”

“Hi Lexa,” Becca chuckled on the the other side of the line.

“Hi,” Lexa sighed. 

“I should be the one to apologize, I heard things didn’t end well after I left. You got into a fight with your boss because of me.”

“How do you keep hearing all these things?,” Lexa laughed.

“I’ve built an all seeing AI,” Becca said and then added, “and I might have called Clarke to apologize. She told me.”

“Oh, right,” Lexa said.

“I feel responsible, I’m sorry if I’ve…”

“Oh no, please don’t, it’s not your fault, not even close,” Lexa said. “It’s been long time coming. Today was just a trigger for a lot of things that should have happened a long time ago.”

“Still, I am sorry,” Becca said. 

“Thank you.”

“That being said, just because Marcus turned out to be not what I expected and hoped, it doesn’t mean you’re not.”

“Meaning?,” Lexa asked.

“Meaning you are not Marcus,” Becca paused. “I did ask around, you know, and I haven’t heard one bad word about you. In fact everyone made sure to tell me just how much they loved working with you and how great you are at what you do and I’m willing to accept...”

It sounded like Becca was ready to say yes to any nonsense Marcus was trying to sell, “I’ve quit,” Lexa interrupted her. There was nothing but a silence on the other side, Becca didn’t say anything. A quiet breathing was the only sign that she was still there.

“Oh,” Becca finally said. “I…”

“Can you stay still for just a couple of more days, until I get my things in order. I’ll call you with a plan.”

“That’s alright, you don’t need to…”

“You’ve placed your trust in me and I’d hate to disappoint you like this,” Lexa said. “Just a couple of days and we will work things out, ALIE will be what it’s meant to be.”

“Lexa, I…”

“I know I haven’t done good on my promises, but this one is under my and only my control.”

“Okay,” Becca said. “But in a week I’m gone.”

“I’ll call you.”

* * *

The ride to Marcus’ office was the longest one ever. Lexa wasn’t sure if it was because her perception of time distorted with every floor she was closer to the end of her journey or was it because of the piece of paper she was holding that was about to change her present and future, for better or for worse. Maybe she wasn’t as ready as she thought. But then the elevator stopped.

“He’s waiting for you,” Marcus’ assistant said to Lexa when she got in front of the office. Lexa smiled and pushed the door open. Marcus lifted his head from something he was reading and straightened his back.

“Sit, please,” he said. Lexa took a deep breath and walked up to his desk. She put the paper she was holding in front of him and sat down. She noticed his eyes briefly skimming the contents of the paper. “There’s still time to change your mind Lexa.”

“Can I ask you one last thing?,” Lexa said.

“You can.”

“Was I ever going to get what I was supposed to?”

“That’s the question you want to ask?”

“That’s the reason that paper is in front of you.”

“Clarke is…”

“Please don’t put Clarke in the middle of all this, we both know none of this is her fault.”

“I can’t because if she didn’t come along…”

“I’ve brought you millions of dollars.”

He looked surprised to hear those words come out of Lexa’s mouth. “I wanted someone closer to financial part of the things, that’s what’s going to make more money for us and for our clients.”

“You saw today how much that means to potential clients.”

“That’s because you promised her things you had no right promising.”

“The only things I promised was to take care of her and her company and to make sure her vision never gets blurred and lost between the lines. I had no right promising that?”

“If you told her only that she’d have said yes to my proposition.”

“Marcus please, let’s not go down that road, I can’t promise I’ll be as civil as I am now.”

“You won’t do that because you know I can make the rest of your life miserable.”

Lexa chuckled, “Really?,” she crossed her hands.

“I have more friends in this business than you have. You don’t want to make me your enemy.”

“Almost all of your friends have already called me,” Lexa said. “But don’t worry, if you want, I can make your life miserable all by myself.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“No, but I can if you want.”

“I think you need to leave.”

Lexa got up and turned around to leave. But before she left she said one last thing to Marcus. “Thank you for all that’s been and all that’s now.”

* * *

“I hear you’re leaving.” Lexa was packing the last of her things from the office that was no longer hers. It was strange to see that after years of spending most of your life in one room, all your belongings fit in one box.

“I’m maybe gonna miss you Raven,” she said when she saw it was Raven standing outside the office.

“I’m gonna miss your coffee.”

“I’m not gonna miss people stealing my things,” Lexa smiled.

“But what I’m gonna miss the most is having Clarke bitch about you.”

“Who says that’s gonna stop?,” Lexa heard her before she could see her. “Hi,” Clarke smiled when she looked at Lexa.

“Maybe, but it’s not gonna be as juicy,” Raven said.

“What did she bitch about?,” Lexa asked.

“She’s right here,” Clarke walked past Raven and into the office. She wrapped her fingers around Lexa’s forearm. “Are you okay?,” she whispered and kissed her cheek. Lexa just nodded.

“Awh how cute,” Raven said.

“Shut up,” Clarke said.

“Sure sure,” Raven smiled. “Lexa,” she looked at Lexa, “you’re better off.”

“Thank you,” Lexa smiled and then turned to Clarke when Raven left.

“Do you need help?,” Clarke looked around the empty office.

“I’m done,” Lexa smiled softly.

“Do you need a minute?,” Clarke kissed her cheek once more.

“I’m good.”

“Then let’s go.”

* * *

“This might be the worst day of my life,” Gustus said.

“Don’t think like that, it’s the beginning of something much better,” Lexa smiled with a box in her hands and Clarke next to her.

“Maybe tomorrow, but not today,” he said. “Can I get a hug?”

“More than one if you want,” Lexa smiled.

“If it’s okay with Ms Griffin, of course,” Gustus smirked.

“Give me that box,” Clarke shook her head and took the box from Lexa’s hands.

“I’m gonna miss you Lexa,” he said. “If there’s an opening in your new beginning, please make sure to make it big enough to fit me.”

“Gustus…”

“Don’t Gustus me. You’ve helped me more than he ever has or will.”

“I’ll be sure to call,” Lexa smiled.

“And if you don’t then Clarke will tell me and we’re gonna have a problem.”

“You and I will never have a problem,” Lexa said.

“Car is here,” Clarke said, “and this box is heavier than it looks,” she chuckled. 

“Give me that,” Lexa smiled, “we have to go,” she said to Gustus.

“Don’t forget,” he said.

“Never.” When she got in the car Lexa looked one last time at the place that was like her second home for the past couple of years. She felt happy. “You don’t have to babysit me, you know?,” she turned to Clarke.

“I won’t leave you alone after the day you’ve had,” Clarke put her hand over Lexa’s. “How do you feel?”

“You’ve asked me that a dozen times today already,” Lexa smiled.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I am.”

“I’m proud of you, for standing up for yourself despite everything that could go wrong.”

“I’ve never felt more free in my life.”

Clarke leaned her head on Lexa’s shoulder and squeezed her hand. “What now?”

Lexa kissed her forehead, smiled and looked down to their hands, “Now is time for a new beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been fun, thank you all for reading and being the best in the world!
> 
> See you real soon, TBC... ;)
> 
> (pssst there's a [sequel ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15467613/chapters/35906871))

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any and all mistakes, they belong to me.
> 
> I really appreciate all the nice comments and kudos and it makes me more motivated to update regulary. Help if you can! :D


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